POWER

(Book 2)Chapter 19-But to live doesn't mean you're alive

(Book 2)Chapter 19-But to live doesn't mean you're alive

I was depressed so I thought I'm gonna mess up her life. LOOOL; blame the fool that pissed me off


Everybody see's it's you
I'm the one that lost the view
Everybody says we're through
I hope you haven't said it too

So where
Do we go from here?
With all this fear in our eyes
And where
Can love take us now?
We've been so far down
We can still touch the sky

[Chorus]
If we crawl
Till we can walk again
Then we'll run
Until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly
Until there is no end
So let's crawl, crawl, and crawl
Back to love, yeah
Back to love, yeah


Back to Aalliyah

''Just walk Aalliyah; he's pissed as it is'' I don't care if he was pissed. Why w as he even pissed though? It's my battle and I can do what I want but as I said before- revenge isn't the way.
My mind was thinking a million things a at a minute but my body was doing only one. Breathing.
I remained silent. It was like my tongue was swollen, I was barely remembering to breathe. Kwali took the keys from the shaking hand and unlooked Sams black mini cooper he received as a Christmas present from the whole family.- he was that loved man. I sat at the front, making sure I didn't touch anything. He always went mad when people touched anything in his car and knowing that this had only been driven for a couple of days and was brand new, has health and safety in the car was going to be beyond extreme. I remained silent tears fall down my face but I didn't touch them; I didn't even make a sound. Just acknowledged the tears and cursed then. I need to have a harder exterior. I closed my eyes causing the tears to fall more rapidly. My heart race wouldn't slow down. It just seemed to go faster and faster as I thought of that night. I heard the car door open and close, then again. I kept my eyes closed just wishing that this was dream
''Aalliyah?'' I opened my eyes as I heard my name. I turned to Sam who had now plastered in the driver's seat. He had done something. He would always tap has fingers 3 times then smiles, then carry on with life. He tapped has fingers, but didn't smile.
Just sat in the car.
Sam kept moving he's hand towards the door handle to open the car but then decide against- like he was arguing with himself, he kept muttering things under he's breath all this while us still outside Kwali's house and me watching Sam closely,
''Gimme the keys'' he said at last. I put the keys that had replaced Kwali in the back of the car in his hand. He started the ignition then beeped the horn. A couple of minutes later Amy walked out of the house but stopped right outside it. moment later Tristan walked out and they embraced inna tight hug. From what I could see he pecked her on the cheeks and then Amy walked towards the car, him staring at her walk away- something was going on between them, defo.
''why are you hugging him?'' Sam said immediately s Amy was safely in the car and the door closed.
see? This is what Sam always does! He can't handle anyone showing emotions except anger and happiness. He doesn't know what to do with himself when some is unhappy so he just does what he does best and ignores it. He will ignore you until you are inna better mood and then just expect things to go back to normal.
''why does it matter?'' Amy said screwing him in rear view mirror, there exactly the same. Always on a defence.
''it matters because you can clearly see your cousin upset but you wanna be hugging Tristan instead?'' Sam still had gas running but the car hadn't even moved yet.
''well maybe if you didn't shout at YOUR COUSION ASWELL she wouldn't be upset!'' -and maybe if I wasn't here they would still be talking about me like that?
''OhMyGod Amy it's always the same with you! All your care about is your damn men and yourself'' Sam was now getting angry because Amy shouted. Don't shout at Sam unless you expect to be shouted or insulted.
''Myself? You are the most selfish one out of any of us. You left your mum!'' 'Ohhh no she didn't. She did not just bring Sams mama into this?! ' -I was even shocked at that.
'' shut the fuck up'' Sam said straight. Amy slumped back in the chair and I saw Sam tense at the dent she might have caused the car seat
''are you coming Katy's or going home?'' it was the first time he directed a question at me, I kept quiet for a while and answered
''home.'' I said as I wiped away my tears and fixed my hair. I don't want my mum asking questions. He stopped outside dropping me and Amy off then drove away.


###Cecilia Drunker###

I hadn't heard from Aalliyah ever since that night- I would call her but her opine was off; I thought about going to see her- but her and her mum were always going to different countries whenever they felt like it so I assumed that was the reason her phone was off.
It was Tuesday morning-back to school ¬
I got dressed- the usual and went to get some breakfast.
''Here comes Rocky herself'' Joshua said laughing with my 'brothers'- they had attended the party when that incident happened and boys being boys didn't think to stop it; if they had I would have started on them too anyway.
''Don't lie it taught you that upper cut?'' I ignored some of their remarks. Boys will be boys.
"What are you guys on about now?" Aunt Della- not my real one; but my foster mummy came in shaking her head. I actually loved her like a mum- but she's like Aalliyah were pacifists -.- ; so I wasn't even planning on telling her about the fight.
"Nothing Aunty. Just which one of them is going to walk me home" I smiled sweetly. Joshua shot up quickly; he looovvedd the girls in my school and they adored him back. He always got 'Awww he's cute' 'how old are you babe' -by girls in my year. He would get soo gassed and start calling himself a gyalis because he chipsed a couple of chicks on the same day and he's a year younger
"Come on then" I said ushering him along. Ugh. For a boy a year younger than me he was a fully fledged man whore. He doesn't care who's in the house. He will beat until kingdom come- if he's mum in the house- he'll just celotape her mouth shut- that how nasty he is.
We left the house and jumped bus. Not before Joshua started an argument with the bus driver cause he didn't have an oyster card. We sat upstairs and waited to get off.
Got off.
Josh stayed on because his schools the next couple of stops on; Aalliyah couldn't jump my buys unless I went the back ways to school because she lived in Eltham- or some next place like that and I lived in Catford.
I walked to Greggs and got my sugar ring doughnut- ahhh; I dunno where I would be without it. I pulled up my tights as they was falling down and looked up at the horizon. Ahhh fuck!
Why was he at this bustop.
Kayne spotted me and called me over. No escaping it. I put my half eaten doughnut away cause this pigeons are going to try and peck some. I walked over to the batch of boys at the bustop; they were sitting outside railings and bike racks and shit- just chattering on. Only like 3 went my school and the rest were just bait heads. I nodded at everyone.
I hang around boys allot- but girls have gone past the stage of screwing me cause they know that there like my brothers to me.
Nothing else.
I hugged the ones I was umber tight with- The Twins.
That's it.
Everyone else here I had a reason to dislike them.
Steven? Say nothing.
Marcus? The whole reason I didn't even wanna be here. And the rest were begs-

"Wagwarn Cecilia" Marcus said in a slow tone. Those dumb ones that boys do and they move there whole heads to the sentence. Them ones.
"Hi." I said shortly and opened up my bag with my doughnut. It was calling my name and the smell was too great.
"Ayy cut me some please" I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! Kwali was the first one to look at me smiling. I shaked my head vigorously and shoved the whole doughnut in my mouth. Unless there gonna pay me back or by me a new doughty them no. It will be eaten by MY belly.
"Your peak. After I bought you Nando's aswell?" Kayne said looking at me. I did love him- my bestiee for lifey; but food comes first
"But I swear you're 'cakey'?" I said laughing to myself. Boys are so gassed these days. They claimed to be balling but yet when they buy you something it's like you owe them money?
Get your gwop up!
"Keep your mouth closed when you talk man!" He said in disgust. He was a neat freak- he always goes OCD on me when I go he's house.
"Nevverrr! I shouted and opened my mouth. He pushed me playfully and we started cracking up. Everyone else just screwed because they didn't get the joke. There wasn't even a joke- it was just funny -he's expression.
"Are you two dealing?"
See- begs. Michael said pointing at us. He saw 5 pairs of eyes screwing him. Me and Kayne- like why would you ask such a dumb question? If we were dealing I woulda been kissing him o hugged him in a more sexual way when I saw him. Steven and Marcus- cause them my ex'-es. & Kwali and Omari- cause that's there dons that he's offending.
"Oh." Was all Michael said. Stupid foolish boy!
"Who's going Germany?" Steven directed the question at the people that went our school.
"I didn't pick History" Shaun- some little mixed race kid said.
"Yeah" Omari said. Lord knows why he even picked History cause the refused to listen to what the teacher said cause he's gay :/
He's going to fail history but he always gets B and shit in he's coursework? :/ it's not fair! I swear Aalliyah been doing he's coursework this yea cause trust me its fucking impossible!
"Cecilia?" After he had asked the whole circle he dropped he's eyes on me. I hadn't and didn't even want to talk to him since Kwali's party. Kayne of course knew and noticed my hostility. I ignored him and didn't even move my eyes from Keynes BB I had in my hand. I was going through it- the pictures he had saved of girls were funny
"Cecilia?!" I carried on inspecting the pictures he had of girls. I was he's profile picture. B] & he was mine; we were umber tight. He's my babes like that
"Celica?"
I looked up at spotted Aalliyah in the horizon about to walk up the hill to the school reading a book. My saviour. I gave Kayne back he's BB and hugged him tightly
"I'll call you yeah" he said
"Yeah. Love you"
"Same same" -he doesn't say the 'L' word except to Kwali. But Kwali was the opposite- he was more loose with the word and Kayne said that's gonna be he's downfall. I said bye to the people I like and walked away to Aalliyah.
"Heeey" I smiled\shouted at her. All the boys turned around and started muttering about. The 'video' had now gone viral. Facebook- people just sending it around and chatting shit like they even know what happened. Of course I gunned down anyone who said shit and I saw it. Fuck and indirect. If you wanna say something. Say it to that persons face. She stopped and I thought she was looking at me but it was someone behind. I turned to see who she was smiling at and saw Nathan smiling so happily. Infact smugly as he walked past Kayne and them; he even winked at them and 'bumped' into me. On purpose. I was about to buss a switch but I wanted to know what he was gonna do when he got to Aalliyah first. He got to her and they hugged then walked up to school together.
Nathans a fucking pussy- he like to pick fight to make himself look big but he's picked a BADDDD one cause Kayne still hasn't forgotten what happened at Aalliyah's party with him and Omari.
Since when?
I knew that they talked BARE when her and Omari had arguments but since when did she not see me? I shrugged it off.
I walked to school on my jack Jones listening to music and went form. Nathan wasn't in my form -praise the good God. But Aalliyah, Omari and shitbag Steven were. I went and sat next to her; she removed her head from the book and smiled a huge smile then put her hands out for a hug.
First thing I noticed- she had a bandage around her ankle and her arm was in a slink- I think that was there called :/
I didn't notice it this morning because her coat was probably covering it- but now it was bait against her black school uniform.
"What happened?" I said as soon as we had stopped hugging.
"Argh. Sam took me hospital and the doctor gave me this and this" she said pointing to the bandaged area.
"Ohhh; did the doctor ask how you got the injuries?"
"Yeah- I just told him I fell over -but I think he thought Sam beat me up" she said chuckling quietly at her one woman joke.
"Why haven't you been picking up your phone?"
"Ohhh; Sam took my Samsung one and broke it." she said sighing. That's peak
"What? How wait why?"
"Okay.; so Nathan texted me saying I heard about what happened are you okay? And at this time I was in the other room getting an X-ray done on my arm. And when I came out all I see is Sam stamping on it- then put it in hot coffee he had in he's hand then took it out and threw it out the window" she said and sighed at the end. Sam's a fucking physic man- he MADES sure that phone was broken
"LOOOOOOL- I saw you this morning but I like how you aired me"
"Ohhh; that was you! I thought you were Linda waving at Levy behind me. I didn't have my glasses remember!"
"Then how did you know Nathan was behind me"
"He texted me"
"How?"
"I got a new number. I couldn't give it to you because couldn't contact you but I saw Nathan like yesterday and gave him my new number" she pulled out a brand spanking I-Phone and re-gave her my number.
"You going Germany?" she said after reciting her number.
"Yeah. You?"
"I dunno. My mum paid in year 10 but I might be going America instead to visit family; so don't actually know what I'm gonna do" -see the Germany trip was during the half term in February; 5 days in Germany! -away from London again! I was fucking excited. The school had organised the trip from year 10; that's how sexy this trip was gonna be
"Rah. Your mums balling though" -it was actually true. The amount of times I see this girl and I'm dressed in good old H&M clothing & this girls rocking Gucci? Not the bait ones with the print all over it; but Gucci all the same.
-we carried on talking and to be honest it was just generalised. Until Omari walked in.
The bell had gone and people were starting to fill in; year 11 was not the year to have 300 lates. I was and am going to a good college. So I and Aalliyah are sitting there talking about colleges and which one we wanna go and Omari & Steven bang open the door. Making every one jump and look at them. Omari walked looked at Aalliyah den waited for her to catch eye contact- he was standing in the door was staring at her.
"Omari please sit down" Mr Yelper said after everyone was just watching them for a long time. Omari kissed he's teeth at the form tutor then came and sat in the desk in front of us and turned around-them resumed staring at her. She went back to her book and muttered along the words she was reading- blatantly ignoring him.
"So you're not talking to me nah?" -Omari
"I am." Aalliyah replied but her eyes were still on the book.
"You know what I mean"
"No I don't. You asked if I'm talking to you and I said yes. What more proof do you need that I'm talking to you? ..Anyway-what reason do I have to not talk to you?" trick question!
"Cause of what happened at Kwali's"
"I don't know what happened sorry. Do you care to tell me?" att-t-tude! She put her book down and started right at him
"Kmt. Nar I don't actually" he started screwing her hardcore! But Aalliyah does play some next funky mind games
"Right then. So if you wouldn't mind I would like to get back to my book"
"You've read it already" he replied quickly,
"No I haven't" it was a mission to follow this conversation!
"Yes you have. When it was snowing and I came yours you finished it when we were eating spaghetti". Memory of a elephant or what?
"Well maybe I want to read it again"
"You said you hated it"
"Well you can learn to love something you once hated right?". #indirect. LOL.
"Isit." That was all he said and turned around. Awwwkwarrd.
"It is" she replied. LOL- can she not have the last word.
"That is good" looks Omari wasn't giving up either.
"Correct" -Aalliyah
"I see"- Omari
"Good. That means your eyes are working''
''they are- are yours?''
''once again correct''
''that is good''
''I agree''
''that's good''
''of course .Its not bad isit?''
''isit?''