Heartbreak Journey

Beautiful Mistake

Yoon Se Ri

If you are given a choice to have power to turn back time or to stop time, what will you choose? At first glance, my choice may be obvious. There are plenty of things I wish end or happen differently. Like my birth story or choosing the right major for university or... well, the elephant in the room. The nightmare of having to find out your fiancè cheated on you, with your sister nonetheless.

But as I think deeper, those things doesn't matter so much now. Not too long ago, I still had the urge to call my ex whenever I was lonely. Who would've thought I could tell their betrayal story without so much as tears? The betrayal sucked, but I realized now, I was more upset about what it did to my self-worth - and by proxy to my ability to write - and what it meant to my relationship with my sister. With some wounds, I guess you just have to face it head on, rip the band-aid off. To allow them the space to breath and time to heal.

Well, not only time I guess, handsome companion helps a lot. But, you get the idea. The key is acceptance and closure. Once you grip that, moving on is pretty easy. On that account and weighing down my current situation, I will choose the power to stop time.

I remembered one time I had to attend some awards because I won it, and time couldn't move any slower. Too bad I couldn't press fast forward. It was only for three hours but felt like I wasted my whole day there. In contrast, when you're having fun, time is your enemy. Day is short, night is even shorter.

Last several days have been a bliss. We sailed in Lake Taupo and observed the beauty of Maori rock carving. Rotorua was another gem. We took the cable car trip above Rotorua then luge our way down. Yesterday, we spent the day in Coromandel, exploring the sublime Cathedral Cove and chilling at the beach. Ri Jeong Hyeok showed off his surfing at Hot Water beach, I mean... who would turn down the opportunity to see him wet... and sexy? Oh my god, did I objectifying him? I was, wasn't I? In my head anyway.

I can't believe we're just a day away from going back to Auckland. Two days 'til my departure back to Seoul. Arghh, I don't want to think about it just yet. Or I'm going to spend most of the time mellowing in the corner, when truthfully I can do much else. Much, much else, I think as I glance at Ri Jeong Hyeok making our morning coffee. I have been truly spoiled by him in this trip, I'm going to have a BIG withdrawal once we are apart. Yoon Se Ri, not that thought again.

"Here we go, sorry it's probably still very hot. Be careful." He breaks my thought and passes me my coffee sitting down beside me. We look at each other before he dips his head to kiss me. His new habit he picks up the last three days. Like I said, BIG withdrawal on the horizon.

"Good morning. You slept okay last night?" He asks me putting his coffee on the table. I nod, as okay as one can be after heavy make out session. He chuckles. "Well, at least that makes one of us." I know exactly what he's talking about. He sleeps at the upper bed, okay, so every time he moved, I heard it. The last two days, he tossed and turned so much. Not one to confront that, I choose to talk about other things.

"What time we head out? Today is the spa day, right?" He smirks knowing my tactic. He's being a good sport always following my lead. "Sure, later today, you can enjoy a good soak. And probably massage." I moan thinking ahead already. Hearing my moan, he groans. "You need to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" Playing innocent, I ask him what he meant. He rolls his eyes and tugs me to him. I instinctively put my hands around his neck, enjoying our closeness. It's usually him that initiates any intimate moments between us, but this morning I feel bold. I pull his head closer and kiss him. Like always, the first touch of our lips feels electric. I can feel the tremble reaches everywhere.

What did I say? If only I could stop the time.

***

Ever since THAT kiss, our relationship dynamic is totally changed. There's always awkwardness before when we're in close distance, like we're afraid to move. It gets better the longer we spend time together, but now? I can't shift my thought from wanting to kiss him. I don't want to do anything else. If I can, I think I'll choose to park somewhere and make out with him the whole day. Ugh, I'm not that kind of woman. I never do that.