Heartbreak Journey

Real Life

Ri Jeong Hyeok

Everyone says you'll have a honeymoon phase when you are new couple. For the first week, I am keen to think that is true.

That 'someday'? Although almost ruined, turned out to be the best night. Ever. The feeling of finally making her mine, of finally being with each other the way we wanted to, was otherworldly.

If I could, I wouldn't move from her bed. But, you know what was the best part? I knew there would be a million next time. And as much as she said I was insatiable, she herself also had a good appetite. Well, I should've known by the way things happened in Auckland.

Like most women, Yoon Se Ri was really taken to emotional talking. I wasn't kidding when I said I intended to do this forever with her. That wasn't because I lusted over her. I just couldn't see myself without her, and maybe... if she's ready in the not so distant future, I will be there to take the next step with her. If she's not, then I'll wait.

That talk about forever? Turned her on so much, she rode me into oblivion. And it didn't end there. The way I woke up to her kissing my abs and lower, such heaven.

Ugh, I am hard thinking about that night. Bottom line is we're all the way together now. There's always next time. We can do repeat of that night whenever we want.

Or so I thought.

I'm not sure if a week is considered as honeymoon phase, but surely our phase has been expired.

And when that phase is over, what is left from our relationship?

Will the intimacy wear out that fast? Or gradually by each broken promise and reschedule date?

***

In every role you had in life, you were accountable to certain expectations. As a child you were expected to be the good one whatever that might entail. As a student you were expected to have good grade. And so on. Everything came with expectation.

You knew what else came with expectation? Disappointment.

It was always been my principal to never disappoint others. So when it did happen, I took it real hard. Even when I didn't know how to change that.

It was only our first month as a couple and already I had cancelled our dates in four out of five occasions. The only occasion I didn't cancel, she was called in for emergency meeting with her publishing company.

Despite no complaints from her, I saw how her shoulder sag, I heard how she held her sigh and I watched how she tried to school her expression every time I told her we had to cancel.

I knew I had a lot to make up for. I heard many times about the sentiments that many of my doctor colleagues had difficulties maintaining personal relationship.

"Is it true?" I asked it at last to Dani one afternoon during lunch. She shrugged. "Sometimes, I think. Seung Jun never complaints though." I nodded and looked at Pyo Chi Su. Who didn't say anything.

"What are you looking at me for? You know I don't have girlfriend." I grinned.

"Yeah, just wanna hear that from you." Pyo Chi Su rolled his eyes and made face at me. "Seriously though, we never had that problem, right?" I said that to Dani referencing our past relationship. They avoided seeing my eyes.

"Wait... we had that problem?" I asked her again. She smiled sheepishly. "I remembered complaining to Dr. Pyo here in a few occasions."

"Every time you missed important events. And that one time you cancelled the vacation." Pyo Chi Su added.