Gwynnedd's Guide to the 50 States

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After the trending thing on Twitter and reading the variation by nightwraith17 I am attempting my own. Done in alphabetical order. 


1. Alabama: heat, rockets, flat, sunny, humid, have some friends down there 

2. Alaska: Ice. Northern lights. Eskimos. Iditarod. Biggest state and last state to be added to the Union. My mom's mom grew up there. I know some Wattpad peeps from there 

3. Arizona: CACTUSES EVERYWHERE!!! They also have these cool net things on the road to prevent rockslides 

4. Arkansas: THEY HAVE THIS UNIQUE DISH OF BISCUITS AND CHOCOLATE GRAVY. One of the most fulfilling meals every but you literally can't move after eating it. My mother's family's ancestors hail from there as well. They also have this weird rule that it's illegal to say the "s" at the end of Arkansas in that state. 

5. California: Hot. Freaking expensive. Extremely strict with rules. Hollywood. The Pacific Ocean is kinda cold. I've got family there. 

6. Colorado: Gorgeous mountains and rivers. Nasty snakes. They have something for drugs. I have some extended family there. 

7. Connecticut: Connect-tee-kut. I always think of this state not for its varied history, but for the way it's pronounced in Holiday Inn. 

8. Delaware: Tiny state that's the first state and nothing else. Oh, it's named for the Delaware Native Americans, which I don't think are around anymore. 

9. Florida: Pensacola is still my favorite beach place. My aunt lives down there. But other than that, it's a place where if something stupid happens in the world, it's 99% it happens here. I've seen crazy stuff there myself such as a dude pushing a baby stroller down the middle of the road in the freaking city. Cars just went around him. You don't question things there. It's cracked. 

10. Georgia: Peaches and peanuts. Also extremely humid, I've heard. I've only been in an airport there so I can't say for sure. 

11. Hawaii: Volcanoes, tropical beaches, Luas, grass skirts, etc. 

12. Idaho: Po-ta-toes

13. Illinois: Has a city with the huge bean mirror thing. 

14. Indiana: Cars and corn 

15. Iowa: Corn

16. Kansas: Tornadoes. Wizard of Oz.

17. Kentucky: Bluegrass and fried chicken 

18. Lousiana: Gumbo, New Orleans, Creole culture, crawdads—I also feel that mosquitoes love this place. Just a vibe though. 

19. Maine: Lobsters, cabin life, lighthouses, Atlantic north 

20. Maryland: Catholics

21. Massachusetts: Pilgrims, Native Americans, Salem Witch trials, etc. A place of history and now liberalism 

22. Michigan: Most of my friends live in this place as do most of my favorite writers still among the living. Also Ford cars. 

23. Minnesota: Lakes

24. Mississippi: What has four eyes but can't see? 

25. Missouri: Has a city that should belong in another state

26. Montana: Big state, few people. Should be Canadian, but the United States was greedy. 

27. Nebraska: Plains. Probably some extinct buffalo ghosts. 

28. Nevada: People spend all their money in the desert. Contested as the no. 1 place that would probably be destroyed by fire and brimstone if that was still something that happened regularly.

29. New Hampshire: What was wrong with the old one? 

30. New Jersey: See above. 

31. New Mexico: One of my now best friends who was the person who introduced me to Wattpad lives there. I've driven through it years ago and only remember cactuses, fog, and rocks. Adobe stuff and desert Native Americans. 

32. New York: Has Niagara Falls, New York City, and the rest gets lots of snow. I know someone who lives there and people who came to Ohio from there. Clearly New York isn't all that great. 

33. North Carolina: Roanoke Island still bothers me. Maybe one day I'll solve it

34. North Dakota: Mt. Rushmore. Extremely cold. Oil. 

35. Ohio: My state. Buckeyes. Hicks. Corn. Hell is Real. Grandpa's Cheese Barn. Deer. People have weird variations of words like crick for creek among others. 

36. Oklahoma: Family there. They have every natural disaster known to man except volcanoes, though one of those may suddenly pop up there in future. Also one of my favorite actors starred as Curly in the play by the same name. 

37. Oregon: Rain, Oregon Trail

38. Pennsylvania: Amish. Hersheys. City of Brotherly Love. Quakers still around? I know a lot of history happened here. 

39. Rhode Island: Tiny place, they have something with roosters or chicken, can't remember. I do know it came about because some dude didn't agree with the Puritans and off and started his own colony out of spite. 

40. South Carolina: They have sus history in Civil War. Apparently beaches are a thing here. 

41. South Dakota: Badlands; I know a Wattpad peep from here

42. Tenessee: Appalachians. Hicks. Ticks. Trees. Tourism stuff. Music, especially country, happens here. 

43. Texas: Try to brag about being the biggest, but they're only the size of France. Cowboys, cattle, shoot-outs, hats. Typical western stuff. Worst state for tornadoes. But I know some awesome people from there. 

44. Utah: LDS. Some gorgeous national parks. 

45. Vermont: Trees. Maple syrup. Started by Ethan Allen. 

46. Virginia: hIsToRy. Jamestown, Williamsburg, etc. Boring beaches though. 

47. Washington: Rain. Mountains. Simon Kholorskiy. Esther Eyre. 

48. West Virginia: The hick version of Florida. Country Roads Take Me Home

49. Wisconsin: They claim to make cheese but honestly American cheese is meh. Little House Books. I still misspell this state as Wiscousin. 

50. Wyoming: The state capitol shares my name. 



Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my take. 

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