Gran Mag...

Parts XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX...

"Gran Mag…"

Summary: Utterly for fun…Sheldon is in deep, deep trouble…From certain povs…When Amy's older sister blows…Into town…For Halloween and their engagement party…

Helps if you look up the wondrous Charlotte Gainsbourg…And one of the better pics of the equally wondrous Maggie Hamilton…

Disclaimer: BBT is all Chuck's…

Part XXXVII…

When I was but a boy, gentle reader, just starting college at 11, I pondered the works of the great artist/inventor…Though his lack of ability in Physics perhaps hobbling his claim to truly superior genius…DaVinci, in particular his one-man flying machine…

Which, of course, though divinely elegant in its bird-inspired design, was fatally handicapped by its creator's failure to appreciate the basics of power to mass…Had Leonardo spent less time studying birds and anatomy and more on either the application of the ratio of power to mass or, with the practicality of an Edison searching out the best incandescent filament for his light bulb, the superiority of lighterweight materials, his machine might well have been a practical success…A point which I went to considerable lengths to illustrate in a paper that year where I offered theoretical suggestions toward the redesign of his device which you can read in…But I digress, this being a literary effort…

My point being that I was quite familiar with the problems inherent in one man flight and the ineffectuality of attempting to flap one's way into the sky without additional motive or aerodynamic support…So that in my water-hose-powered catapult launch from Charlotte's escape ladder, I viewed the problem not as an attempt at flight…Flailing arms and legs in a vain attempt to keep aloft as some…Including an experimental physicist of my acquaintance…Might do…But as a projectile equation…The projectile, namely me, requiring in fact the least amount of aerodynamic interference if it was to reach its target, namely the hotel roof…And neither miss said roof by falling short nor strike the blades of Charlotte's hovering escape helicopter, in either case with likely fatal result…

I had of course in estimating that the correct point of the pendulum swing of the helicopter ladder bearing myself and Charlotte would be about seventy degrees, allowed for a slight margin of error…Though very slight…All now depending on my Amy Farrah Fowler's first interpreting my reference to the hose used to pull her up to the roof from the ledge where we'd confronted my nemesis Charlotte…And then striking the ladder with said hose at the right angle at a point above where I clung for dear life as the ladder swung out in arc, its movement increased deliberately by my swinging pump…

Charlotte of course had realized, though too late, what I was attempting, but could not interfere, given she was below me on the ladder and in imminent peril herself…Forced to cling tight for her own life…

Rather like the man on that flying trapeze, a favorite song of my beloved Meemaw, I sailed through the air…Having released at what I determined was the most precise moment to do so for reaching my target…

A bit annoying, really…Having to concede the value once again of experimental Physics…Indeed, staking my life on it…Still…I maintain it was Theory that was my guide here…And will discuss it thoroughly in my upcoming paper soon to come to a Journal of Applied Theoretical Physics near you…

Unless you should happen to live in some academically forsaken place like East Texas…In which case, order it on-line or through interlibrary loan…Though I recommend on-line to avoid people asking such questions as "Applied Theeoretical Physics?...What the hell's that?" and quite possibly threatening to give you nuggies…

Anyway, where was I?…Yes…Sailing through the air, with the greatest of ease…Or perhaps in this case, unease…

Not doubting my computational ability or the solidity of my theoretical grounding…But a bit concerned as to exactly where on the roof I might land…And how hard…