jealous- noah schnapp

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YOUR POV:

my boyfriend noah and my best friend sadie are hanging out rehearsing their lines. they went to a cafe.

but noah should've been home half an hour ago.

i decide to call him.

"when are you home?" i ask through the phone.

"i'm just in the car now baby there is so much traffic" he says back.

"oh okay" i say getting ready to hang up.

"i love yo-" i cut him off by hanging up.

i look at myself in the mirror.

i'm not mad at him. just a little jealous. well not jealous. i don't know what to call it.

it's like.. i'm comparing myself to other people. sadie is gorgeous and i trust them both, i know they wouldn't do anything. but sadie could pull anyone. i'm just scared and insecure.

last year i went through some things. my insecurities got worse and my mental health got worse, to the point where i would have panic attacks every other day. noah helped a lot though.

about 9 months ago i learnt to love myself for who i am. i was so confident and proud of myself. i was happy with my body and appearance.

but now that i'm comparing my self to others.. there slowly coming back. i don't want to go back into that place. not again. never again.

it was horrible.

i decide i'm not gonna talk to noah much when he gets home. like i said i'm not mad at him. i just want to get my thoughts straight.

i go downstairs and sit on the couch staring into space, thinking about how noah could get any girl he wants. i wonder why he chose me.

i hear the front door open and close.

"hey princess!" noah says cheerfully and jumping on the couch next to me.

"hey" i say plainly.

"are you okay?" he asks.

"um i've got a headache so i'm gonna go take a nap" i say and get off the couch.

"oh i'm sorry love. do you want me to cuddle you?" he asks hopefully.

"no thanks" i say watching his smile turn into a frown before walking upstairs to our bedroom.

no doubt he knows there's something wrong now. i always say yes to cuddling.

i get under the duvets on my side and start falling asleep.

but i'm awoken by the bedroom door opening and closing.

i then feel noah lay on the other side of the bed.
my back is facing towards him so he can't see my face.

"what's wrong honey?" he says.

"nothing" i say blankly.

"yes there is, your mad at me i can tell. please talk to me honey" he says smoothly.

i ignore him.

he sighs.

"okay if your not gonna talk then i will. what have i done to you? we cuddled for two hours this morning, we made breakfast together then had a pillow fight. then i said we could cuddle when i got back from rehearsing the script with sadie-" he cuts himself off.

he sits up and looks down at me.

"y/n are you jealous?" he asks shyly.

"no" i reply.

"are you sure?" he asks.

"noah i'm not jealous" i snap.

he jumps at my tone.

"sorry" i mumble.

"babe talk to me what's wrong?" he says laying back down then spooning me.

"i keep comparing myself to other people. sadie could get anyone she wants and i trust her but i'm scared that you might leave me for someone else. anyone would be lucky to have you and now all my insecurities are coming back and i don't want it to happen again" i blurt out.

"hey hey hey i would never leave you honey. i love you so much. your so gorgeous and don't ever think that your not. i would never do anything to hurt you. i could never. i love you and only you. i want to have a future with you. i want to have kids with you. i want you to be my wife. i want you to be the only girl i love for the rest of my life. okay that rhymed i didn't mean for it to. but your my gorgeous princess okay. and i love you more than anyone or anything in the whole world. your so beautiful" he says gliding his hands up and down my waist.

"i love you so much" i say.

"i love you more. now turn over and give me cuddles. i've missed you" noah says giggling.

i giggle and turn over to face him.

he kisses me and pulls me closer to him wrapping his arms around me.

i snuggle into his chest as he draws shapes on my back.

he nuzzles his nose into my hair giving me a quick peck on my head.

a/n: this is so cute. but remember your all beautiful in your own ways!! 💕

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