Temptations

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((TW: Suicide Attemp, Self harm, Mentions of ED))
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It must be around 9pm. It's dark out, the moon barely trying to shine through the clouds of early fall. All that is heard on the silent, flat, roads, is the hum of the car's engine. Outside, the tree's leaves are all sorts of colors, ranging from bright reds to ugly, dead browns. Then there's me. In the car, driving to end all my troubles.

I drive for what feels like an eternity, as if the universe trying to get me to rethink my already set decision. It's my fault and only my fault. I stated this in my letters. My letters to my best friends. My letter to my mom and dad. It explains why I'm doing this. My parents ignoring the signs. My friends too happy with their own lives to care.

I'm doing this to end all my troubles.

I kept repeating this in my head, over and over again. Not letting anything change my mind. The car's engine revved as I slowed it down, arriving to where I'll soon be happy.

I pull over to the side of the road, leaving all my belongings behind. I already gave everyone their designated letters, only for them to find me here in the morning. I get out of the car and slowly make my way over to the bridge that laid ahead.

"It's time." I sigh to myself with a sorry smile on my face. At first, I just lean over the railing of the bridge, enjoying the warm wind that waved my hair back and forth as I took in the surroundings.

After a few minutes of just looking out in the distance, I'm ready. I lean off the railing and look down, it's the perfect height and it will be quick, easy, and simple. I slowly raise myself onto the railing, I feel some hesitation but hastily push it away as this is what I want. I then stand, balancing perfectly. All I need to do is fall now, I'm ready to just leave it all behind, everyone will be happier this way.

I inhale the warm, yet crisp air, smelling the sweet smell of oak from the surrounding trees. I close my eyes, I feel so relaxed, "It's all going to be okay." I reassure myself before exhaling and letting myself fa--
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George wakes up in a cold sweat. I-I was so close. It could have just been over then. He thinks angerly. He tucks himself back into bed, just wanting the same dream to envelope him and take him away. Away from his lonesome, boring, tiring, life. His parents wouldn't care, they were too busy with work to even notice anything. His friends wouldn't care, they would just continue on with their own happy lives. Or at least he thinks they will.

The brunette slowly gets up, lazily throwing his covers and sheets off his cold, sweaty body. He skims over his messily organized drawers, looking for something that would cover every little imperfection he had. These imperfections ranged from his scrawny body to his wrists which had old and new scars laid upon them.

George found what he wanted to wear, that being a slightly oversized, tan and orange crewneck sweater and some light wash jeans. He didn't want to go into the bathroom, but he had to look somewhat presentable for school. He already got bullied enough, he didn't need any more temptation from those terrible, terrible people.

As he entered the nicely, white, decorated restroom, he only turned to the mirror and sighed, annoyed. George couldn't help but feel unhappy with himself no matter what he did. At first, he thought he was just a fat, unhealthy boy but now he was too scrawny, unable to do anything about it. So, he just kept on doing what he knew, he just flat out wouldn't eat anything. He honestly was too tired to try to get a healthy body, so he would just continue to lose weight.

He tidied his hair, combing it with a brush until it got that perfect wave he liked. Then, he moved on to washing his face and brushing his teeth, which clearly didn't take very long. When he was done in the bathroom, he checked his phone to see that it was 7:34am and no notifications, as always. George still had about ten minutes before he had to leave on the bus to school, so he just sat on his phone, checking the toxic world known as social media.

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