Twisted Dreams

Thoughts

There are some moments during which I pause whatever it is I'm doing - be it reading or brushing my teeth or looking out the window or checking the mail - and let my mind wander.

I think about how everything I've done has led up to this moment, however insignificant; how every choice I've ever made has brought me to this exact train of thought.

I think about how, even as I am so caught up in the moment, absorbed in every breath that I inhale, I will promptly forget about this moment of clarity by the time the sun sets.

I think about how different my life may have been if I had made slightly different choices: if I'd stayed in my old state, chosen a different "first friend", said "yes" or "no" or simply walked away.

I think about what my future might be like, what job I'll have, what friends I'll make or leave behind, where I'll choose to plant my feet, what people I'll take for granted, what kind of person I'll become.

I think about what I can do in the moment to influence what my future may hold - to sway the beating heart of life's unfolding path in one direction or the other or one entirely new.

I think about how many choices - and therefore, mistakes - I have made, and how many I have since come to regret, and others I have seemingly forgotten, lost in the deep blue depths.

I think about the things that are important to me right now - friends, family, items, hobbies, memories, dreams, words, stories - and wonder which ones I'll hold forever and which I'll abandon.

I think about my ticking watch, wound around my wrist, marking the passage of time, and I wonder if it ticks the same speed for everybody else I meet as it does for me.

I think many thoughts, and I will soon forget them all.