❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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"Hey, everyone. Sorry, I'm late," Jake greeted warmly as he strolled into Shawn's, "So what's this secret meeting all about? You guys know I'm not medically cleared for another week."
"It's not a secret meeting, Jake," Gina held up a hair clipper, "It's an intervention."
"The tips have to go," Rosa said darkly as Hitchcock and Scully subtly moved behind him to block the exit.
His eyes widened in shock and disbelief, he thought the frosted tips were cool. "What? Why?"
"Jake, we're worried about you, and you look very stupid," Gina said blankly.
"C'mon, guys," He chuckled nervously, "I think they're kind of cool, retro."
"No, they're terrible," Terry huffed as he glanced at the tips in disdain.
"Tasha, come on," He turned to his girlfriend desperately, "You're digging the tips, right?"
"If you knew how many times I came this close to shaving your head in your sleep, you wouldn't be asking me that."
Jake paused. "Just my hair, right? You didn't want to like, cut my head off too?"
Natasha decided to pay homage to the very beginnings of their relationship and stayed quiet to rile him up.
"Right? Tasha, right?" He yelped frantically as he gulped in fear.
"The tips have to go," She said instead and smirked teasingly, "Unless you want to see what it's like to have your head detached from your body."
"All right, you guys got me. I did it as a joke. I kept them ironically. Pretty funny, right?" Jake laughed too loudly for it to be believable as he turned to the door, "I'm just gonna head out."
"Get him!" Gina demanded as Hitchcock and Scully acted as a human blockade.
"No!" Jake cried as Terry lifted him up into the air and brought him over to a chair.
"Yes, Terry!" Rich cheered, very appreciative of the man's display of strength.
Jake, similar to a rabid dog, tried to bite Gina's hand when she wrapped a salon cape around his neck. She slapped the back of his head sharply before grabbing the clippers from Rich.
"Okay, okay. Wait, stop, stop, stop," Jake begged once the clippers buzzed, "I'll admit it. I went too deep down there in Florida. At one point, I think I forgot where the tip of me ended, and the base of the tips began. Before we just chop 'em off, would anybody like to say some final words? "
"No," Rosa spoke dryly, voicing everyone's thoughts.
"That was one word. That counts. Thank you, Rosa," Jake sighed deeply, "Okay, I'm ready."
