❝What! Why don't you trust me?❞
❝You want it alphabetized or by date?❞
❝I can't even look at you right now!❞
❝Jake, do you even trust yourself?❞
❝No, but that is not the point.❞
| In which the 99 get more than just a new Captain |
[Brooklyn Nine-Nin...
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SCOREBOARD PERALTA ZAPATA 62 62
"Hey, you guys see the dude I brought in today — the drug dealer? 81 years old. I think it's the oldest collar of my entire career," Jake smiled.
"I once arrested a 96-year-old for flashing. I was terrified he'd die in my backseat... Or flash me," Amy grimaced.
"My oldest collar was 78, but the PCP made her fight like she was 20," Rosa smirked.
"Mine was 91," Natasha smiled at the memory, "She wanted to cross 'get arrested' off her bucket list so she threw her drink at Captain Holt."
"What?" Amy gasped.
Jake and Rosa burst out laughing. "No way!"
"What about two 50-year-old twins? Does that count as a 100-year-old?" Scully asked as he walked past the group.
"No good."
"No."
"You talking oldest bags?" Charles smirked as he set his things down on his desk, "68."
"That's not that old," Amy shook her head.
"Yeah, but I was only 20."
"Were you even a cop then?" Jake asked him.
Charles laughed. "No, man, it was before I got into the academy."
The four looked between each other before Rosa cracked a smile.
"Charles isn't talking about his oldest arrest."
Jake, Amy, and Natasha grimaced.
"Ew!"
Charles' eyes widened. "No, yes, I am. Yeah, oldest arrest, 68, like I said."
"God, you had sex with a 68-year-old when you were in your 20s?" Jake only made the whole thing worse for Charles.
"You know how it is. When you have a chance to bed an older woman, you-" Charles tried to help his current situation. It did not work.
"No, that is not an older woman. That's an old woman! That's someone's grandma!" Jake laughed.
"She was, actually. That's how I met her — went to college with her grandson, Marvin. Don't knock it till you try it. She had a replacement hip with some serious torque. It was like having sex with a transformer."
"That is no one's fantasy," Jake walked away from him.
"Quit while you're ahead for once Charles," Natasha patted his shoulder.
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"Peralta. Where are we on the Lincoln place murder?" Terry asked at the morning briefing.
