you really got a hold on me | john lennon

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

December 1st, 1959

"You'll do amazing, Nat. They'll love you, I just know it."

Paul gave me a reassuring smile as we walked hand in hand to his house for a holiday party of sorts with his family. It had taken a lot of coaxing on both Paul and Jim's part to get me to say yes to attending because this is the one thing I probably was nervous to do. I had heard stories about them that they didn't like Paul's new Teddy Boy look and all the attitude that kids had nowadays. And Jim himself had admitted to not liking John's influence on Paul and was always persuading him to get John out of the band. So what would they do with me who pretty much fit the exact mold of the type of person that they specifically didn't like?

"I really hope they do. Just a tiny bit nervous, that's all." I bring my free hand up to my face to fix a flyaway hair, only then noticing how awful it was shaking. "Alright, I retract my previous statement. I am incredibly nervous."

"Hey, hey. Nothing to worry about, darling. I'll be by your side the whole time."

Right as he says this, we reach the front of their house. The bustling of all the people inside could be heard from out here — and you can probably guess it didn't make me feel any better. I could feel a lump in my throat as we got steps closer to the entrance.

The two of us were this close to walking in when I tugged Paul back, my feet glued to the floor.

"Paul — Paul, I can't. This was a bad idea. I shouldn't have come."

"I'll be here, Nat. You'll be alright."

He lets go of my hand and instead snakes an arm around my waist to bring me closer to him. I look up to him with worrisome eyes as we finally walk inside together. Once they saw who I was, all chatter immediately came to a close as the attention was all on us. I smile awkwardly to try and diffuse the tension but am immediately met with quite a few disgusted looks.

"That's my boy! And this is Natalie Lawrence everybody, Paul's girl. Glad you could make it." Jim exclaimed happily, smiling at the two of us.

"Glad to be here. Can't wait to get to know you all."

They all looked at me for a second before continuing on with all their individual conversations, not even giving me so much as a second glance. Guess Paul was awfully wrong with the fact that they'd "love me" wasn't he? But it isn't as if this reaction wasn't expected of them at all, more because I was afraid to actually face the truth from them specifically with being Paul's family and all that. I hadn't had many run-ins in Liverpool about this before because many people my age generally didn't care, and it was mostly the older folks who had a problem with it.

"Well, took you two long enough to get here. The food's already getting cold." An older lady that I believe was one of Paul's aunts looked at us with a tight smile, a ciggy and drink in hand. "Come on, let's eat. I'm proper starved now after waiting all this time.."

. . .

"We've heard a lot about you, Natalie. You are the talk of the town after all." The same woman from earlier was directing the attention and conversation to me again for the fifth time since we started eating dinner.

"Is that so? I wasn't aware that I was the talk of the town."

"All of us have heard about the type of people you surround yourself with. Can't be a great influence on Paul here if he goes around with you and that Lennon boy. As a matter of fact, Jim — why don't you ever reprimand Paul for this? Surely you're concerned about your son's well-being, are you not?"

My grip on Paul's hand tightens as I feel the burning eyes of everyone looking at me in disapproval. They had no right to judge me for who I spent my time with, especially since they had no idea who they were in the slightest.