you really got a hold on me | john lennon

CHAPTER SIX

August 5th, 1959

"Paul, I'm not going to fucking dye my head blonde, alright?" I say, slapping his fingers off the tip of my hair. Lately, Paul had been begging me to dye my dark locks blonde. I refused, of course, not wanting to be forced into any mold by anyone.

"Come on, Nat! John got Cyn to do it, why can't you?" Paul tries to push on the subject even more, though knowing how annoyed I was when he did. He and John, being the pricks they were, tried to make their birds look like Brigitte Bardot. Short skirts and of course, blonde hair.

"Paul, I said no. Don't try to make me into something I'm not."

He frowns and crosses his arms, not saying a word until we finally reach John's house. I knock on the door, which John's aunt, Mimi, opened. Paul and I put on fake smiles purely because we were in front of her.

"Oh hello, you two. Looking for John?"

"Yeah, do you know where he is?" Paul asks, not in the mood for any small-talk. His temper was getting to him again, which resulted in his blunt response. I jab an elbow into his side to tell him to knock it off and be nice.

I see as he clenches his teeth together and puts on an even wider smile. Mimi gives him a weird look because it was obvious that Paul wasn't an angel. So him smiling like this had to give off some warning signal. After probably judging us in her mind, Mimi tells us, "John's in his bedroom. You lot better not pull anything up there."

"Thanks, Mimi. Have a great rest of your day." I respond on behalf of Paul and me this time, not wanting another word of pure nonsense to come out of his mouth.

She lets us in and we walk up the stairs to John's room. I knock gently, and hear a faint, "Come in". I open the door to see John sitting on the floor, legs crossed, smoking a ciggie.

I go ahead and sit next to John with Paul sitting across from us. John reaches behind me to his bed to grab his guitar. Paul does the same, picking up his guitar which he just rested on the floor. The two of them start to play, leaving me to my thoughts.

. . .

An hour or two passed when John tried to hand me his guitar.

"John, you know I don't play anymore." I remind him, pushing the instrument back.

"Come on, Nat. Please? You used to play like a pro."

I smile at the thought of strumming again. If I'm being honest with you, I don't even remember why or when I stopped. Something in me just switched and I dropped it. But now I wanted to give it another shot. My hands start to reach for the guitar when Paul interrupts.

"Don't force her to do it, she said she didn't want to." There was a sense of bitterness in his voice.

"I'm fine, Paul. He isn't forcing me to do anything." These two couldn't go a week without arguing, could they?

"Stop defending him, damn it. Let's go." Paul says, standing up.

For the first time ever, I was actually terrified of Paul. In a way, his anger was way scarier than John's. John would probably take it out on something, may it be a bevvie or property (still bad either way), at least it wouldn't be left all inside. But Paul...Paul would bottle all that anger up. And whenever he was mad, it's like there was a ticking time bomb on him.

I get up and follow him outside the room, so we could have some sort of privacy. John's eyes start to plead with me to stay but I shake my head. Paul's temper wouldn't get any better if no one stood up to him to stall this bomb waiting to explode.

Once the door shuts, I rub my forehead with my palm. "Paul, what was that? Is this all just because of me not wanting to go blonde? Is that what it is?"

"No, just - why do you follow everything John asks you to do? But nothing I ask you to?"

"You're going mad! John asked me to play the bloody guitar, not to change my whole personality!"

Paul tries to come up with words but nothing comes out. He knew I was right, and how what he asked me to do wasn't right. He bites his lip, turns around, and leaves.

I take in a deep breath and go back in with John. When he sees me at the door, John gets up and walks up to me.

"You alright? Seemed pretty intense."

"Yeah, I just don't understand what happened. Does this usually happen during the band's sessions?"

"Happens once or twice a month. Sorry that he's being a pain in the arse, Natalie."

I look down to my feet - spacing out, still not in the best mood. That is until I feel John lift my chin up with his fingers. When I see what's in his other hand, it's the guitar. He smirks at me foolishly and asks once more, "You wanna take up my offer and play for me?"

. . .

Paul's POV

Natalie was different from other girls I'd known, and I didn't mean that in a bad way. But unlike other girls here in dear Liddypool, she actually knew when to stand up for herself. And that made her so damn difficult. If only she was more like Dot.

Dot. An idea came to me.

I tried to chase the bus that drove people to her area around this time of day. Luckily I made it on, and as I sat there, thoughts were racing in my head.

What would Natalie think?

Do I really want to do this?

Am I sure that I really am in love with Nat?

But at the same time, I could also keep this a little secret. And that way - no one would get hurt. Not me, not Dot, and most importantly not Natalie. Plus right now, there was something in me that craved a special kind of affection. Though Nat was amazing, she and Dot had different ways of showing their love. But at the moment - I was craving Dot's. I still loved Nat with all my heart, and that would never change. But while I was still young, why not have a little fun before I'm not allowed to do it again?

When I get off at the correct spot, I walk into the neighborhood to find Dot's house. Even if I had known her for a decent amount of time - all the houses looked the same which was frustrating. I'm about to turn when I see Dot some distance away from me. My eyes widen as I run towards her.

I put a hand on Dot's shoulder when I reach her, and she flinches a bit. She turns around and looks surprised to see me.

"Paul, what are you doing here?"

"I want to make amends, y'know?"

"As much as I would like to do what you're suggesting, Natalie's a nice girl. I can't do that to her, no matter what you two did." Dot says, blushing at the idea.

"What if she doesn't have to know? Our little secret." I smirk and press my lips onto hers while she dropped everything in her hands. Dot's arms wrap around my neck as I pull away for a brief second, forgetting everything in the world, including Natalie.

Nothing terrible could come out of this, right?

a/n: paul, paul, paul. such a flirt smh. anyways, hope you all enjoyed the chapter as much as i liked making it! wanted to make things a little more ✨spicy✨ to get things goin' for the plot. see you next chapter! <33