n o v a (incomplete)

e i g h t e e n

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e i g h t e e n

important - please read: i just wanted to clarify some things before continuing, regarding the events occurring in the last few chapters. 

it was always my intention to include something like this, especially due to the movements in recent years. yes, it might have seemed like out of the blue and sudden - but isn't that how it is realistically? these vile, disgusting attacks are spontaneous and happen to women like nova, women going about their daily lives. 

i didn't include it as a trope - that in itself is horrid. it's not something placed to ensure nova develops - not at all, i would be an awful person using something as traumatic as this as a ploy for character development, which is disrespectful and unnecessary. that is not my intention, and i sincerely apologise if it comes across like that. 

my intention is to spread awareness, to encourage you to look after yourselves. this happens all the time to regular people who least expect it. people like nova.  i want to show a depth of understanding behind these cases, and show how some people heal. i want to bring you guys a closer understanding to it, and i hope i can achieve that without offending or triggering anyone in the process. 

It's a quiet hum under her breath, a hand wrapping over the warm mug of coffee she had made a few minutes ago, desperately needing something to keep her awake if she was going to carry out her plan of having a normal day today.

Her left hand writes neatly, the ink smooth and glossy, the curve of each letter delicate with a gentle flick of her wrist. Dawn had broken through a mere hour ago, the gentle hue of the sun slowly beginning to illuminate the kitchen she was sat in.

It had been a while since Nova was dismissed from the hospital, with her stitches having been dissolved and the knife wound relatively healed, though the skin still remained dark and patchy, a scar etched permanently into it. She hadn't looked properly yet. The marks and bruises on her face had for the most part cleared up, looking a bit better apart from the left side of her neck which still had remnants of the attack. Her arm was okay, if not a little feeble.

Kelsey had been extremely hesitant in letting Nova leave her house and refused to let her when Nova eventually asked. The dark-haired female had left her house stealthily during the middle of the night, sneaking away once the blonde fell to a deep sleep.

Nova barely sleeps these nights, the bags beneath her eyes dark and haunted. Sleep only brought out the worst thoughts in her.

When she was awake it was a little better. She didn't feel anything, except pure icy numbness. It was better than her nightmares, than the constant fear and trepidation that lurked within her most vulnerable moments.

It was easier feeling nothing. 

It's as if her mind froze over, not having defrosted just yet, unable to get over the shock of what happened and have it truly be processed. She was still waiting for that breaking point, muddling through each second of the day lifelessly.

Nova was attempting to stimulate it though, having taken up an idea from an online support group. She bought a scrapbook about four days ago.

The events of what happened on that night had been written out four times, once every day, to excoriating detail. She remembered everything crystal clear- that wasn't the problem. But she couldn't figure out why she couldn't feel anything about it. There was nothing but broken shards within her that threatened to pierce but only ever scraped.