But Now, I Know

Beginning A Second Chance

Morgana was awake before she opened her eyes. She tested her surroundings, feeling her clean skin against soft silk sheets. It was a feeling she recognized and a feeling she thought she would never experience again. She remembered the countless sleepless nights, lying awake, terrified of falling asleep and being plagued by nightmare after nightmare. She remembered the time in which she thought she would go mad and was unaware her nightmares were the product of magical prophecies. It was a simpler existence, a simpler time. She had her friends in the day and was terrified only of the night.  

She ran her fingers under her pillow and felt for the bottle of sleeping draft she used to keep there. She found it. Had this really worked? Was she really getting another chance?

She jumped and opened her eyes wildly at the sound of a quiet knock at the door, a reaction obtained from years of living alone in a hovel. 

"Morgana?" Came a voice from behind the door. "Morgana, I've come to wake you and bring you breakfast. May I enter?"

"Give me a moment!" Morgana called. She got out of bed and hurried over to her closet, throwing on the first dress she could find. "Enter!"

In came the maidservant, dressed in a light blue dress with floral embroidery on the chest. She wore a smile on her face and her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. She carried a tray full of delicious fresh breakfast foods. "Good morning, my Lady, How are you feeling."

"Good, thank you," Morgana responded, slightly shocked and confused.

"Well, that's a relief," she said, placing the tray down on the table and making her way to each window to open the curtains. "Gaius said all you needed was a good nights rest, but you know me. I always assume the worst."

"Why should I need rest?"

"Oh, last night you were having dinner with the king and... you don't remember?"

Morgana shook her head. 

"You fainted out of your chair. Probably made tired from all your nightmares. I do hope Gaius finds something stronger for you so you can get some sleep."

"Right."

"You should find some time today to see the king. He was very worried to see you that way last night."

"Oh," Morgana's stomach lurched at the thought of Uther. The knowledge that he was somewhere in the vicinity, somewhere in the citadel made her slightly sick. 

"Are you alright?"

"Yes," Morgana assured her, plastering on the fake smile that had served her well during her time as a double agent. 

Gwen smiled back before staring at the state of Morgana's attire. She giggled. "What on earth are you wearing?"

Morgana stared back, perplexed. "A dress...?"

"Yes, but you've put it over your nightgown. Now it's all bunched."

Morgana looked into the mirror across the room. Gwen was right. The purple gown bunched up around her waist and shoulders. Come to think of it, it had felt slightly strange on her body. Not only because it was put on incorrectly. She was so used to sleeping in the only dress she had, leading her to forget what it meant to be Uther's ward. 

Gwen helped her out of the elegant dress and nightgown before choosing a more suitable outfit for the day. Morgana watched as the girl worked. The maidservant hummed to herself as she mended a small patch of fabric that had torn. There wasn't a notion of the queen the girl would become. Morgana wanted to be angry with her, but just couldn't bring herself to be so. She had always wanted Gwen to be her friend. It wasn't always clear, but she thought it was made evident by the efforts she made to secure the queen as an ally. Maybe it was cruel, maybe it was selfish, but the lone high priestess was desperate for a friend. This young maid would be spared of her wrath, Morgana decided. She would prove an ally and a friend for her in this new world she hoped to build.