You Light Up My Life (E. Buckley)

Green Eyes

I came into the firestation a bit sad because of what had happened the night before. Buck had left his phone at my apartment by mistake, so when I found it, it lit up with a text messege.

Taylor: I feel the same way about you🥺

I felt sick to my gut after seeing it, but it was already late at night and I knew we had work the next morning, so I decided just to leave it alone for now.

Of course I ran after Buck before he could leave to give him his phone, he just thanked me and kissed me goodbye, but I still had trouble falling asleep that night.

What could they be talking about?

Why did he still have her number?

Does he miss her?

I tried to make myself some tea to help calm my nerves, and do my best to get some sleep. Unfortunately I couldn't calm myself enough, I ended up having the nightmare again..

"SHAYLA!"

"EVERYBODY OUT!"

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

I woke up in a cold sweat, and looked over at the clock, 4:00am, I put my hand over my head and groaned from the headrush I got from getting up too fast.

I layed my head back on my pillow and felt my heart pounding, I did my breathing exercises to calm myself, I had barley noticed there were streams of tears down my face. Thank god I was able to fall back asleep fast.

Getting to the firestation, I didn't want anyone to see that I wasn't in a good mood, so I did my best to hide it. I stuck with my usual "Hi everyone!" And "Hey there"

I did a pretty good job masking my emotions til I could atleast get to the lockers, there I saw Hen, she could tell I was faking it somehow.

"So Shay, what's got you down?"

I sighed, "Buck is still texting Taylor, I don't know what they were talking about, but all I saw was a text from her saying 'I feel the same way about you"

Hen looked at me with concerned eyes, "Shayla, you know Buck and Taylor are just friends right? What did he say when you asked?"

I looked to the side, then back at her, "I..didn't..?" I gave a weak awkward smile. "Why?"

"I don't know it was late and I didn't wanna fight with him. I don't think we've fought at all, but that day is not today. "

Hen gave me a shrug and said "you do you"

We left once we were ready in our uniforms, I saw Buck talking to Eddie, then he saw me and came closer to hug me, "Hey babe" he said with a smile and kissed me on the cheek.

"Hi" I said sheepishly, he looked at me with concerned eyes just like Hen did, "you okay?" I nodded, "I'm just a little tired."

"Good thing we come prepared" Bobby said appearing next to me handing me a cup of coffee, I didn't even notice he brought some for us.

I thanked Bobby and went to walk with him to avoid Buck. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now cause I couldn't really hide that I was upset.

So I tried talking to Bobby and Chimney for a while to get my mind off the text and nightmares. A while later the alarm went off, and we headed for the firetruck

Throughout the day we had emergencies here and there, but Buck was still trying to talk to me on the way back and I just gave him short replies or pretended not to hear him. I felt bad, but mostly upset.

I don't know why I couldn't just forget about it, it were as if the green eyed monster was mocking me, and loved seeing me get angrier.

Eventually it was the end of our shift, today Buck and I got off at the same time, so there was no getting out of this one..

I had said bye to everyone and tried to get ahead of Buck so he wouldn't have time to try talking to me again. Unfortunately my plan backfired and he caught up to me before I could get into my car.

"Shayla!" I could hear his footsteps running towards me from behind, "wait up!"

I turned around, "Yes?" I said quietly, "You almost left without saying goodbye to your Bucky Bear." He said holding his arms out for me to hug him, I just gave him a blank stare and turned around, "I don't know..did I?" I say opening the back seat to put my duffle bag.

I shut the door and turn back around to see him staring at me with a confused look, "Okay, are you mad at me about something?" He asks

I look at him for a few seconds, then turn around and tried to get in my car, "Shayla!"

I breathed out before turning back around, "I feel the same way about you?? What does Taylor feel the same way about??"

The look on Buck's face changed from confused, to dissapointed and mad. When he did this my gut immediately told me I made the wrong choice.

He pulled out his phone and opened the text messeges and began reading them to me, "Taylor: Nice work getting that lady down from the billboard
Me: Nice work newsreporting, you're good at what you do
Taylor: I feel the same way about you."

He turned his phone towards me so I could see for myself, still with the same disappointed look burning through me. I felt horrible, "Buck-"

"How could you think I would ever cheat on you??" He asked raising his voice slightly, "stop it's okay-"

"When have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

"I didn't know.."

Buck put his phone back in his pocket still with a not so happy look on his face, "Exactly, you didn't know.. and yet you still chose not to trust me." He turned around and went to his car

I watched him drive away, I felt like a complete failure, I failed to trust my own boyfriend. I had just let the stress from my nightmares and the green eyed monster get the best of me.