You Light Up My Life (E. Buckley)

We Can Do This

Buck and I agreed that it wasn't a problem I did most work with the twins, because he still needs his job as a firefighter, and I don't blame him for wanting to stay. Of course he would help out as much as he could, and completing simple tasks as much as picking up diapers on the way home.

Chloe was super gentle around them as if she knew how precious and delicate they both are, they haven't noticed yet, but hopefully when they're a bit older they will love her just as much.

I would spend my time watching the news to get a closer look at what was going on in the world, and some possible stuff my team might run into.

I'm pretty sleep deprived at the moment, so I drink plenty of water and soda. But I can't sleep even if I wanted to.

The twins were happy and giggly on occasion but that obviously changed every once in a while. My heart hurts from time to time knowing Evan is missing this, and I know the twins miss him as much as I do.

I held Alejandro in my arms trying to burp him while Vanessa was crying, eventually he got fussy too. "Shhh", i went for the remote and put on nursery music for them to calm down a bit.

I put Alejandro down after burping him and picked up Vanessa and began nursing. I yawned for a minute until i heard the phone ring in the next room.

I got up with Vanessa and turn to look at Alejandro and said "Just one second." and went to go answer the phone.

Buck's Pov

"I'm home!" I yell lightly as I looked around to see where Shayla until I gasped and dropped my duffle bag and ran to Alejandro, carefully removing his hand from the lamp cord.

"SHAYLA"

She came back a few seconds later holding Vanessa, "you're home-"

"You left our son alone?"

She frowned, "No, the phone rang, I just went to go answer it- it was the pediatrician-"

"Look what almost happened." I said motioning towards Alejandro and the lamp, I picked him up. How could she be so irresponsible??

"Shayla what were you thinking?? He could've gotten himself hurt." I said sternly. But I knew I made a horrible mistake once her lip started quivering and her breathing turned heavy as she blankly looked at the ground.

"Sh-Shayla. Shayla give me the baby." I said scooping Vanessa into my other arm. Once I held both babies in my arms I still wanted to hold my wife as she fell to the couch and buried her eyes in hands like a child who just got in trouble "I'm so sorry " her breathing was out of control.

I carefully put the twins in their swings and sat next to her, "Shayla look at me, Shay." I put a hand on her shoulder "hold your breath in for a count of 4, then breathe out for a count of 4."

She did as I told her and repeated a few times before she calmed down. Once she was calm enough I pulled her in close, "I'm sorry too." I said, she broke down, "it's just been so hard doing most of this alone! Vanessa needs one thing while Alejando needs another, she could be asleep and he could start to cry"

"Honey." I said holding her hand, she breathed in and looked at me, I said "we're gonna need to find help."

She shook her head no, "Our family means everything to me, I don't want you to think that I can't do this-"

"Shay it's not like that, but it's way too much pressure on you to take on everything by yourself. I know you're a strong woman, but know that there are things even the strongest firefighters can't do alone."

I motioned towards the picture on the wall of our 118 family, "we've been a team since the day we met, that's never gonna change." I said to her

Shayla looked at the picture for a moment and said, "you're right.. I'll do research then to find someone to help me take care of the babies and the cat."

"We can do this baby." I told her, I pulled her in for a hug but then she let out a small cry as if she were in pain, so I moved myself closer to her and rubbed her back until she calmed down a bit more.

Shayla's Pov

We took the babies to have their bath and get them ready for bed. When Evan and I got into bed ourselves I cuddled up next to him.

"I don't know what I'd do without you. I would be lost with nobody there."

"Hey, I'm here.I see you.." he stroked my hair away from my face, "I hear you. You're not alone."

I gave him a weak smile that changed into an unsure look slightly away from him. "Evan.. was I really a terrible firefighter..?" I asked him

He furrowed his eyebrows at me and shook his head while looking like he was thinking 'are you effing stupid??'

"Terrible? Who said you were a terrible firefighter??"

"Just some guy" I said trying not to bring up the man who blamed me for his daughter's suicide.

Buck pulled me onto his chest, rubbed my back and kissed my head. "You're a perfect wife, perfect mother," He looked at my eyes, "and you'll always be a perfect firefighter."

I grinned slightly before pecking his lips before drifting of to sleep in his safe arms.

"I love you Evan." I mumbled sleepily

"I love you too Shayla."