Loki Oneshots (Loki X Reader)

Lost in wonderland

A/n: I dunno man, I'm sick, I have three really big projects I want to finish and publish for you guys (one may or may not turned into whole new book - still loki but an actual story), I had a whack dream a cat kept throwing walnuts at me

So... here, have fun with it I guess, I dunno
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You didn't know how you got here, last time you checked, you were taking a relaxing vacation in the countryside and now you were...here. 

You couldn't explain where or what it was, crazy, topsy-turvy, sickening and insane. But you could say you had a cookie to enhance your height and just fought a bird because she thought you were about to eat her eggs. Before that, you had a beyond confusing conversation with a caterpillar smoking... a plant... 

"Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, and the momeraths outgrabe," Your ears picked up on a silky, misty voice. It honestly confused you even more. 

Having no other strong pull towards anywhere else and in no need to go anywhere else, you followed the mysterious feline voice. It became so much more confusing as the random mass of signs continued with each stepp you took. You heard the humming get closer and closer until it seemed right above you. 

"Now where did that even come from?" You looked around for the noise. 

"Hm, lose something?" You shrieked, jumping back from the sudden proximity of the voice. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't find the source. 

You did find a giant smile though hovering above a tree branch, so that was something. 

"Duh uhm, hi?" You laughed, wringing your hands, trying to work out the nervous energy flowing through you. "Yes, uhm, sorry no, I was just... just wondering-" 

"Oh it's quite alright but ah, one moment, please!" You watched as two eyes plopped down, rolling around before settling above the wide smile. With a literal teeth shaking whistle, it cleared its throat. "Second chorus! 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe'..." 

He sang the little song of something, rolling onto his back. As he did, the rest of him became apparent: lean body, slightly fuzzed up hair and... and two cat ears and a tail. He was a black cat...? 

"You're... you're a cat?" He chuckled, pawing at a loose tree branch above his head. 

"A Cheshire cat," He corrected. "All mimsy were the borogoves…" With a swish of his fluffy black tail, he began to disappear once more. 

"Wh- Wait!" You ran forward as if you could stop him. "Please don't go!" 

"Hm?" He looked at you from beneath his tail. "Oh very well, third chorus!" He started humming the same tune, his sharpened nail swaying to the beat. 

"Oh no, no!" He stopped and let his hand drop. "I- Thank you but I just wanted to ask you which way I ought to go." 

"Well, that depends," He flashed away only to reappear on a lower branch, arms crossed above his head as he lounged casually, one of his long legs swinging back and forth. "Where do you want to get to?" 

"It really doesn't matter, as long as I get h-" 

"Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go!" He shouted out with a loud laugh and rolled off the branch. You gasped, wondering if he was okay but no one fell. Instead, a purr of music danced around you, little paw prints following the sound. 

So much for getting out of here. But you did ask a cat human thing for help, what were you honestly expecting? 

"Oh, by the way," You screamed again. He laughed and appeared hanging upside from different tree branch. "If you’d really like to know," The cat's bright and devilish eyes circled around in their sockets. "He went that way." Despite his sure tone, he pointed in every way. He did, however, land on a path with a wink. 

"Who did?" You glanced around, like that would give you any more clues. When you looked back up at the weird cat being, he was leaning against the trunk of the tree, a branch or two higher and picked under his nail. 

"The white rabbit." Right! You were looking for the white rabbit! He dragged you into this mess... if only you could remember why... but that was why you had to meet him! To ask why! 

"He did?!" You clasped your hands together with joy. 

"He did what?" The black cat danced around on a lower branch, his arms out to the sides to keep him balanced as he hopped about. 

"He went that way?" You pointed down the same path he did earlier. 

"Who did?" He was now laying on his stomach, swinging his legs back and forth in the air and held his chin up in his hands. 

"Well, the white rabbit!" You scoffed. Had he seriously forgotten what he just said? 

"What rabbit?" He did! 

"B- but didn't you just say- I mean- oh come on!" You stomped your foot and turned around. You could figure this out by yourself, couldn't you? 

You ignored the weird shuffling noise and hoped that maddening cat had left. Cat... human... whatever! You just wanted him gone! 

"Can you stand on your head?" You glared over your shoulder and screamed in pure fright. He was - quite literally - standing on his own head. 

"Ugh! Stop that!" You covered your eyes with a shriek. 

"If I were looking for the white rabbit," You heard a loud clunk and peeked through your fingers. His head was back in place, his ears twitching just lightly as he hopped down from the tree. "I'd ask the Mad Hatter." 

"The Mad Hatter? Oh no, no, no-" 

"Or, there's the March Hare," He finally stood in front of you, proving that he was, in fact, very tall. His hands rested in his pockets and his tail and ears flicked around. "In that direction," His arm pointed right over your shoulder yet you couldn't look away. His eyes bore into your own, making it impossible to move. 

Before the tension grew too much, you coughed. "Ah thank you... I- I think I shall visit them..." You giggled nervously and turned around sharply, stomping off. 

"Of course," His silky voice rang throughout the dark wood. "He's mad too!" 

"What? I don't want to be among mad people!" You protested, whipping around. 

"Oh, don't bother, you can't avoid that!" He smiled wide once more, slowly dissipating into the air. "We're all mad here," His laugh turned into something sickening, insane sounding like he was some sort of mad scientist. "You may have noticed," He chuckled darkly and snapped. "I'm not all there myself." 

He was gone. Just like that, he was gone. Only a fragment of his deliriously wide smile stayed, singing off until he faded completely. 

You shivered, shaking off the nerves. "If everyone's like that... I better not upset them..." With the sign as your only guide, you trotted down the path towards the Mad Hatter.