Dear Park Jay ⚊ Letter Series #1

letter eighteen

Dear Park Jay,

As soon as I realized that Y/N really followed my suggestion of writing a letter to help her recover, I asked the others to write to you as well and we will make it to a scrapbook, so that we could bring something for you in your grave.

With the help of our wide imagination, we always had this image of you that whenever we visit, you'll be there waiting for in your best pure white outfit and even if you're invisible to our eyes, you'll be there waving to each of us with that familiar smile in your face.

As always, Jake will lead us in a prayer and you know what Niki often says after each session? He could feel your presence hovering over us. If only that was true, I wish for you to do it now.

To assure us that you're here in the most desperate time for your girlfriend, Y/N. I don't want to be the bringer of the news, but Jay, you needed to know this. You have to.

We all woke up with her just convulsing out of a sudden with the beeps of the monitor being heard, so hard that your son cry in her side and when she was brought to the emergency room again, we felt like dying all over again to heard from them that she's not fine at all.

Defeat is what we all felt about the information of being stressed, too much in all the months she was grieving over you and it was too much that her body was exhausted, that even then she was still losing a lot of blood.

Baby Jay is perfectly fine, but not his mother.

It's been hours now since she was taken away from us. Her parents with yours have joined us by now and her mother was especially inconsolable by the thought of losing her. She keeps going on about what would happen if she happen to follow you?

What would become of baby Jay without her mother as well? What would become of us if we lost the last reminder of you in our lives?

And I am writing this to you personally because I'd like to confess that would surely make you furious and punch me if you were still alive. You were not that kind of person, I know and for the past five years of our friendship, you've only shown me kindness.

Heck, you were the only person to keep me sane in all the time I thought of giving up into the same path we ventured together since the start.

But can I wish for you for only one thing? Can you give me a sign if you'll agree or not?

I'd like to say that I love to take responsibility of Y/N and your son from now on. I'm still not sure how I felt about her, but all I know is that, I grew determined when I hear her call for you in my company during her birth.

Even if it was only for a time, I thought why not I should be the one to take care of her?

That is, if you want to and if she would like me to be.

But even if I was rejected, I promise to be there for them as long as I could.

You can be rest assured that they'll never felt alone. Together with the boys, I'll be present to her in all the time she need friends.

And don't forget, we'll always miss your presence in the dorm!

love, Heeseung.