Dear Park Jay ⚊ Letter Series #1

letter nineteen

Dear Park Jay,

Hey there, rock chick? How are you doing up there nowadays? Were you always looking after us even if you're already no more just like Heeseung hyung said? Are you happy now and is resting there in eternal peace?

I have so much questions to ask you, that you used to answer readily in personal and that brought me to be sad again because I really miss you, hyung. Well, everyone of us misses you.

Just this afternoon when Y/N noona already woked up from her coma, Jake hyung broke down with Sunghoon inside the waiting room. They couldn't even look at baby Jay without sniffing because like we just had expected, he looks like just like you.

He got your eyes, your nose, your lips and your everything. When he smiles up at me earlier at the time I carry him for a short second, he opened his eyes up to me and I looked into it, really looked at it. It feels bittersweet to be able to recognize that eyes from anywhere.

I'm really so shocked to compare his face at your baby pictures that your dad excitedly brought in Y/N's private room. And it makes me think of what you will feel upon seeing that he's just a carbon copy of you.

Sunoo and me talked about it the whole time everyone was laughing over his first burf over a glass of milk, and it's so cute that I think, I will be fond of everything about your baby.

I cannot wait for him and his mommy to get out of this hospital, so that we could steal him away from Y/N and guess what we would do? We'll take baby Jay in our dorm, and it's funny to imagine but what if we introduce him to your kitchen?

Imagine a baby not even a week old trying to cook for us. What would he cook? Probably his supplies of milk from us. Bang Pd-nim gifted him other baby things such as diapers and some of his overalls were a representation of  eagles, so is our BTS sunbaes.

Your bed is not lonely anymore, filled with the BT-21 stuff toys and soon, baby Jay would sleep there, away from his mom. He only needed us, just kidding.

Of course, he'll only cry if Y/N noona is not there for him. I think I'll try to record the sound of his cries and make it into a song?

Or I'll make it my ringtone? What do you think, hyung?

But it's still hard for me if you only know. All I know is that everytime the pressure of being the leader of our group gets too much, I keep hoping for you to appear and say that everything will be fine.

It's still hard knowing that you can't be with us anymore to reach more goals for Enhypen. Don't you remember the time I said in one of our guesting that fifty years from now, we'll all still be together?

It's sad because you're not there to fulfill it with us. Enhypen started as seven, and it will always end as seven, but you break it without your own say to it.

But I guess your soul will be at rest now that the sasaeng who caused this to you has already been found. She tried to beg us to let her go, but we couldn't.

Even if she's a fan, we will never learn to forgive her for what she had done to you.

If only she didn't follow you that night, maybe you will still be here, proudly bragging about your son.

And I just know that you will love him more than you love yourself.

You're that selfless, Jay hyung!

love, Jungwon.