sweet chaos - hyungwonho

17

"In this disorder..."

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Hyungwon laid in bed, awake. He had only caught a few hours of sleep before the pain forced him awake. He didn't even bother to try and fall back asleep, knowing there was no use to it. Even if he desperately needed rest.

Rolling onto his side, he let his eyes fall onto Hoseok's handsome and calm sleeping face. It felt nice being back. Back inside the four walls where he could feel safe even if that safety wasn't always guaranteed. When he decided to jump out of that car, he was honestly prepared to hit his head on the asphalt and die. Or even in the water.

But the safety felt good amongst the many things he thought to have lost the capability feel.

Hyungwon observed the other man's features for a moment before he decided to shuffle a little closer and bring his hand up and brush some of his hair's out of the man's eyes. "At least one of us is sleeping well.." He mumbled under his breath. He brushed his fingers through the other's hair, smoothing it out slightly.

Why are you doing this?

Great question. He didn't know the answer to it himself entirely. It was just an urge he felt the need to fulfill.

His brown eyes moved to his left hand and his eyebrows furrowed slightly. Something felt off and it took a moment for him to realize. "My ring..." he mumbled, pulling his hand out of the other's hair, and sitting up. The oh-so dear golden band wasn't wrapped around his ring finger anymore. He frantically started searching his side of the bed, not finding it.

A bad feeling settled down in the pit of his stomach.

He stumbled out of the bed, cursing when his feet hit the floor. It hurt to move and walk but he couldn't bother to care. Hyungwon made his way to the connected bathroom. He ran his fingers through his hair distraught before he walked over to the laundry basket where he had shoved his – Yoonho's – soaked clothes into after taking his shower.

His heart dropped when he couldn't find the ring amongst the dirty clothes. A continuous flow of quiet, panicked noes left his mouth as he started searching the rest of the bathroom in hope of it just having dropped onto the marble floor.

Just not in the river. Anywhere but in the fucking river.

"Hyungwon? What are you doing?" Hoseok's sleepy voice carried into the distraught man's ears. Hyungwon pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth before defeatedly dropping onto the cold tile floor. His heart throbbed. "I lost it. I.. It.. Hajoon's..." He rambled disoriented. His chest began to hurt as he held in the tears to his best ability. 

How could you have lost it? Idiot.

Even if he tried to hold the flood gates closed, the tears eventually spilled without mercy. He heard Hoseok rush over and crouch down in front of him. "Hyungwon, breathe please." The older said, placing his hands onto the other's shoulders. "You lost what?"  He asked, sounding confused yet worried. 

Hyungwon took another deep breath, as the other instructed. "The r-ring. I can't find it..." The man stuttered out, squeezing his hands into fists against the tiled floor. It was one of the two last things he had to remind him of his fiance, besides his memories and those themselves had begun to blur out in a way. He felt Hoseok wrap his arms around his thin frame. 

It felt pathetic to cry over something such as a small ring, though Hyungwon didn't care. Everything was coming crashing down and he needed to get his emotions how somehow. 

"I.. Hoseok, I... It h-hurts." He gasped out, slightly choking on his sobs.

"Calm down for me, yeah? I'm sure it's somewhere here." Hoseok whispered, trying to calm down the man who was now full-on sobbing. It hurt to see the younger be like that but Hoseok really didn't know what to do or say.