Temporary Love

Part 7: Invested

As we finished in the park- my mind spinning on how this went alright between us, we make our way back towards the Dorms around five and I glance over at her smiling to herself- one arm holding herself around her torso, while the other plays with the Jaguar pendant.

"So, hcch...you uh...you hungry?" I ask and she looks over at me.

"Yeah, but that's okay- I can get something back at home."

"You sure? Because I...uh...I was going to get some take out— I just thought, if you ya know...wanted some too." Why am I nervous? This isn't a date. We're not going to date- that would lead me off course. We're friends- like she said and that's all we need to be.

So why does my heart pound so hard in my fucking chest when I'm a round her?

"Oh...sure. Yes, that would be lovely." A small smile comes to my lips and I look away from her.

Stop it!

Stop it right now!

"How's Cell Physiology going?" I lost all the fucking notes we took.

They're somewhere in Central Park and I can't ask you to give me yours because then I'll look like a lying asshole.

"It's going okay. I'm still a bit confused on it though."

"Well, we can look over whatever's confusing you when we get back." Yes!!

"Y...you sure- because I don't want you to think I'm like Cassian and them." She smiles and shakes her head.

"You're nothing like them. You're sweet and funny. Caring." She wraps her arms around my right and rests her head on my shoulder once more.

"So...um...what was Cambridge like?" School? We're really talking about school now. God- you are a shut in loser.

"My first three years there were pretty boring. Just studying and working to help my Mum. A small group of friends and I would get together once a month and have a party- but that was it." She sounds like me. "I did have a boyfriend though...well...sort of."

"Oh..." Do I care?

"His name was Mohammad and he was from Ghana- kinda like my Mum- and he was going for internal medicine." She sounds...hurt.

"You say was...did he transfer schools or just break your heart that he's dead to you now, haha." I laugh and I just feel her body slump next to me.

"He had a brain aneurysm the beginning of our third year..." Her voice strains and my heart pinches and my gut drops.

Fuck.

Stopping, I look down at her- her smile wavering and her eyes slightly glassy.

"I'm so sorry, Helen." She pushes her body into mine and pushes her face against my chest. All I can do is hold her closely. "I'm sorry."

We stay like that for a few moments before she pulls away and wipes her eyes quickly before turning to continue forward. I follow her and she tries so hard to just seem happy.

"He was a wild one." She says forcing a smile on her face. "Always wanting to go out on an adventure- somehow he got his studies done and was passing his classes. He made it seem so effortless. I bet he would have graduated number one in the class if he didn't... before he did, he would scold me for always spending my time studying and doing school work- he said that life is too short to just work all the time and that one should be able to have fun too. So this year...this year I'm trying to relax a bit more while maintaining or raising my GPA."

She wants to have fun.

She wants to raise her GPA.

How will she be able to do both?