Chapter 6: Realization

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Sam took George on a short walk around the server. They didn't talk about anything, they just walked. After a few minutes, George was finally standing up straight and the cool wind tried the tears off his face. They were coming up towards Tommy's house as George spotted the prison. George shivered and Sam wrapped his arm around his shoulders. He walked George over to Tommy's bench and sat him down. Sam looked up at the night sky and back down at George.

"A lovely night, isn't it?" Sam asked George. George didn't say anything. He only looked straight ahead of him. "Ya know, on nights like these, I enjoy just looking at the stars. It's so calming and makes you feel more grounded. Crazy thinking of how our sun is just a star for another universe. We make it seem so special but really, it's so ordinary." George still didn't respond to Sam. Sam looked at him and sighed. He paused for a second but then turned curious.

"What's going through your head right now?" Sam asked. George picked his head up slightly but still didn't respond. "That was rather abrupt, but really I'd like to know. I didn't know Dream very well, despite seeing him every day." George looked at Sam and gave him a half-hearted smile, then looked away again. "I know it's hard to talk about, George, but I want to understand what you are going through." George raised his head again, looking up at the stars.

"I don't know if I can answer that, Sam... because I don't think I really understand it myself." George twiddled his fingers and looked back down to the ground. George started tapping his foot on the ground. Sam nodded.

"I understand," He said, standing up. "It's getting late, we should go back now." George nodded and stood up. They walked back to the house. It was dead silent when George entered, he went straight to his room and fell asleep.

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George woke up early the next morning. He got himself out of bed and went into the kitchen to see if Sapnap was awake. Sapnap stood at the stove, cooking bacon and frying some eggs. He had headphones in and didn't hear George walk in. He turned around and sort of jumped but smiled.

"You're awake!" He said cheerfully. "I thought I would have to wake you up again." George nodded and looked at Sapnap.

"I was feeling hungry," he responded to Sapnap. Sapnap looked shocked.

"That's good," Sapnap said, smiling. "I made eggs and bacon so help yourself!" George grabbed a plate from the cabinet and took a small serving of eggs. He sat down on the couch and started eating. Sapnap sat down next to him with a plate of eggs and bacon.

"How did you sleep?" Sapnap said before taking a bite of eggs. "I didn't hear you come in from your walk."

"Fine, I guess," George replied, "it's kinda hard to get good rest when you are constantly exhausted." He took a small bite of eggs and set the plate aside. Sapnap nodded to himself and looked at the plate George had placed.

"Eat more," He said pointing to the plate, "It will give you more energy and you need nutrition." George shook his head.

"I'm not hungry anymore." He said tiredly, laying his head on the armrest of the couch and curling his legs to his stomach.

"George, one bite of eggs isn't going to sustain you for all day, you need to eat more."

"I don't want it, Sapnap."

"Please, George, just 4 more bites!"

"Sapnap, I'm not hungry!" George was close to a shout. Sapnap paused. George had never used that tone with Sapnap. George slumped back down.

"I'm sorry," Sapnap said.

"No, I'm sorry, Sapnap. I don't know what got to me."

"It's ok George, you're hurting more than me right now." There was a long pause before either of them spoke again.

"On the walk last night," George started, "Sam asked me something. He said: What's going through your head right now?; and honestly, I didn't know how to answer him. I thought about that all last night. What's going through my head? Why do I feel like this, why do I feel so numb?" Sapnap sat quietly, looking at George and allowing him to carry on. "I think it's because I pushed away all the good things. The day it happened, all I could think about was bad things. Not a single happy thought was going through my head. I didn't want to think about him but everything around me reminded me of him and I hate it. I just wanted to shut it all down, shut my emotions down... because everything hurt. So I went numb." He paused and took a breath, looking over at Sapnap. Tears started to form in his eyes. Sapnap reached out his arms to offer him a hug.

"I miss him too, buddy," Sapnap said as he held George in his arms. George cried into Sapnap's arms. "Don't worry buddy, I'm right here," Sapnap reassured George. "Just breath and it will all be over soon"

"I don't know how to function without him here, I don't know how to feel without him here, I don't know how to LIVE without him here. I- I just- ... I wanna go home." Sapnap looked at George with tears in his eyes.

"I understand that George, but you need to stay here."

"What am I supposed to do here?!?" George screamed "How am I supposed to return to normal and pretend like nothing happened. He was the only one who understood me, he was the only one who I could trust, he was the only one I loved!" George struggled to catch his breath in between sobs. Sapnap sat on the couch, silently crying with George.

"You know I love you, George! And what about Callahan, and- and-and Bad! And Sam too! We all care for you."

"BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME!!" George screamed into Sapnap's face. Sapnap paused. He needed a minute to process what just happened. George doesn't exactly yell at people, at least not to make them feel bad. But this time, this time, he messed up. Sapnap looked at George with a disgusted look on his face. He nodded and looked towards the floor.

"I see how it is..." Sapnap said, standing up and walking out of the room. 

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