how to make a quilt out of Americans

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[Scene: Manor. Phoebe's room. Phoebe's sitting on her bed. She squints her eyes while trying to read a book. She puts on a pair of glasses and looks in the mirror.]

Phoebe: Ugh.

(Someone knocks on the door. She hides the glasses under a pillow. Prue and Piper walk in.)

Prue: Hey.

Phoebe: Hey.

Prue: Have you, um, made an appointment to see the optometrist yet?

Phoebe: Prue, I keep telling you I do not need glasses.

Piper: Oh, well, then... (she turns the book around the right way) this might help.

Phoebe: Unrelated.

Prue: Mmm hmm. Look, I really need you help. Pandora's throwing our her boots. The tan ones.

[Cut to the kitchen. Pandora's putting her boots in a paper bag. Prue Piper and Phoebe walk in.]

Phoebe: Pandora, what are you doing? Those are your favourite boots.

Pandora: I know. Demon blood from one of our vanquishing and I can't get it out and I can't exactly explain it to the shoe repair guy now can I? It's the third damn pair this month.

Phoebe: What's the matter, honey?

Pandora: Nothing. I've gotta get to the club. Dan's waiting for me.

Piper: Are you really gonna break up with him?

Pandora: Well, I have to. I mean, I love him but I love Leo more. Not that I'm any closer to figuring out how that's gonna work either. Sometimes being a witch sucks.

(She leaves out the back door.)

Phoebe: Wicca PMS?

Prue: I have a feeling it's a lot more than that. (The doorbell rings. They walk into the foyer and opens the door.) Aunt Gail.

Gail: My beautiful girls.

(They hug.)

[Scene: Manor. Phoebe finds a photo in a closet and takes it in the living room.]

Phoebe: I knew we had an old picture of you and Grams somewhere.

Gail: Oh my God, look how young we were. I remember when this was taken. Right outside our sorority house. We'd just met.

Phoebe: A couple of hotties.

Gail: That was then. This is now.

Prue: Hey, now looks pretty good.

Gail: Believe me, the golden years are anything but. Mostly it's regret. I miss your Grams. I still can't believe she is gone. You just never know when it's your time, do you? Anyway, you both sound like you are doing very well. You Pandora and Piper and your careers and (to Phoebe) you back at school. Good for you.

Prue: Yeah, we're doing alright.

Gail: What about men? Anyone special in your lives?

Phoebe: Nope.

Piper: Well, I mean, Pandora's got someone, sort of.

Phoebe: I think we're just picky. We don't wanna go through all the husbands that Grams went through.

Gail: Don't be too picky. You don't wanna end up like an old spinster like me.

(She coughs.)

Prue: Are you okay?

Phoebe: Here, have some of this.

(Phoebe hands her a drink and she takes a sip.)

Gail: Oh, thank you. Damn allergies.

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