When We're Older- The Maze Runner (Newt)

when we're older

sorry

MAE

   Soulmates.

   It's kind of a funny word. A funny concept. The fact that you could connect with someone on such a deeper understanding was sort of odd to me.

   That someone could trust another human being to give their life to them—or their soul. I was never one to believe in that kind of stuff. That you were made for one person on this earth, and that same person would reciprocate those exact feelings. I didn't believe that one could even feel that much. Total and complete helplessness—I didn't believe in it until I met Newt.

   I fell for Newt so fast, that it didn't feel real when I sat back and replayed it all. When you spend every day and night with someone, time becomes such an abstract thing. It made me realize that time didn't exist when you live on nothing but a floating rock ball. Man created time, therefore it doesn't matter. I remembered feeling insecure about our relationship in the start, feeling that it was going too fast and would all just crash and burn in the end. But now I understand. The feelings I had for Newt were something I've never experienced. We moved so quickly because we lived everyday like we were seconds away from being taken by WICKED. He's apart of such a dangerous world, and so was I.

   The only reason I believe in soulmates now, was because despite everything we've gone through, we were still together. And through all of the hardships, through everything that was tossed at us, through everything we said, the feelings I had for Newt never seemed to dim.

   I think I'd figured out I was in love with him for awhile before I finally admitted it to myself. It was all just happening too quickly for my mind to comprehend; I felt stupid that it took the knowledge that he was slipping into madness for me to say it. And even then, I didn't say it to him. I said it to myself.

   And as I watched him run in front of me, stumbling over his own feet as he huffed, trying so hard to stay stable, I felt my eyes start to water. He was sweating from head to toe, crumbling in front of my eyes. My chest squeezed as I followed behind him, seeing Newt glance over his shoulder to check if I was close. I sent him a quick smile, trying to comfort him although I knew nothing could.

   Ever since we met, the two of us were like two matching puzzle pieces for a puzzle that was too complicated to ever be finished. It was like the world, sort of. How every little detail led to something bigger, and that led to a whole new plethora of problems that all had something to do with our blood or cells inside our body that we couldn't control. But somehow, I guess I had to be grateful in some narcistic way... Without WICKED, and without the obstacles that we've had to overcome, there was a strong chance that I would've never met Newt. That our two puzzle pieces would've never come into contact and clicked right away.

   Because even though life was a shit show, and it didn't deserve to be lived, I had him. And I had more than some people did.

   Newt's my soulmate, there was no doubt about that. I know it, and I think he knew it too. It was just a matter of fate to decide if we were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives, or not.

   As we ran, Thomas suddenly slid on his knees, dipping behind a short concrete wall behind a tree. The rest of us followed him, dropping to our knees as well. Newt fell down next to Minho, and I fell down next to Newt, holding my chest as it started to ache.

   "You okay?" A scratchy voice from beside me asked. I turned my head to look at who spoke the words, and I almost laughed when I saw Newt turned towards me, looking as tired as ever. I nodded, reaching in my pocket to grab the inhaler.

   "Yeah, you?"

   He coughed, the bangs falling from his forehead as his head fell forward during his fit. My face dropped as I looked up at Minho, who met my eyes. I placed a comforting hand on Newt's shoulder, moving in front of him as he lifted his head, looking so tired.