When We're Older- The Maze Runner (Newt)

conflicted

   As we ran through the tall ivy-covered walls of the Maze, I couldn't stop thinking about Newt. I felt like I should've talked things out with him before I came in here, but I couldn't just leave the boys to go alone. Thomas and I killed the Griever together, therefore I should have the right to go check it out too. But as we moved our legs down one corridor and another, I couldn't stop making up arguments in my head. Every time, I tried to get myself out of the situation, I imagined Newt becoming madder and madder.

   I could lie and say I was in the forest thinking, or I could just tell him the truth and apologize. Either way, he was going to be upset. There's no doubt about it. We just had to get back before the walls closed.

   Zart, Winston, and Frypan were in awe the entire time. They couldn't take their eyes off of the towering walls, which is what I would've probably been like last night if I weren't...ya know, running for my life.

   The sun was beginning to dim, and I remembered what I was doing around this time yesterday. I was holding Newt's hand underneath an awning, waiting in anticipation for Minho and Alby to return. I remembered how nervous he was...and I remember the words I said that almost brought him to tears. Now, he was going against what I told him for everyone else's good.

   But he always did that. I've known Newt...well I've known him for as long as I can remember. He always put other people before himself, and that's what makes him such a beautiful person. Sometimes I feel as though I don't deserve the heart he has. Even though it isn't mine. I've grown so fond of him within the last month that I can hardly imagine what a life without his beautiful soul would be like. It's to the point where I can't even explain it. I felt like I've known him my whole life. Even if I couldn't remember anything else, I still remember him. I can remember the feeling he gives me whenever he placed his hand on my lower back or intertwined our fingers. It just feels so right. I may be looking at murky water when it comes to our relationship before the Glade, but I don't think that matters anymore. Even if we were together before the Maze, it doesn't make any difference because even though we lost our memories, we still found our way back to each other.

   "Just a little farther," Minho called back to us, breaking me from my thoughts of Newt. I felt a heavy feeling in my chest. Not one of pain, like I was going to have an asthma attack, but one that I couldn't quite comprehend.

   When we finally stopped running, I turned my head to the side to see what the boys were looking at. My eyes suddenly met the metal claw of the thing that would probably haunt my dreams for the rest of eternity. Minho looked back at me, but I didn't meet his gaze. I moved my legs towards the squished Griever, hearing the rest of the guy's footsteps behind me.

   The guts were splashed all over the concrete floor, and the claw was just sticking out. If the thing wasn't already dead when I threw my knife into its head, it was definitely more than killed now. I scrunched up my nose at the foul smell...

   "That's disgusting," Zart said to all of us. I sniggered at his comment, but nobody else did. When I inhaled for a breath, I coughed, feeling like I was going to throw up again.

   "It smells like death..."

   "No shit," Frypan muttered.

   I squinted my eyes and leaned forward just as Thomas did, our brains once again on the same page, "There's something in there..."

   Fry scoffed, "You mean besides a Griever pancake?"

   Thomas and Minho exchanged knowing glances as we all put our heads together to look in the same spot. There was something inside the Griever. A red, blinking light shone just from the inside, separating itself from the rest of the dark guts that were hidden.