Everyone Has Secrets

Chapter 29

She was finally back in Seattle again, after what seemed like a long week away. She'd only spoken to Brian a handful of times while she had been in New York, but that wasn't for his lack of trying to get in touch with her, she just couldn't muster up the energy to answer every time he did call. He didn't seem to be bothered by it, though, and she was starting to feel like maybe he was keeping his distance from her or was trying not to push her. Little did he know, he didn't need to be the one to push her away, because she was pretty sure her head hadn't really been in this to begin with.

She really had thought it would be a good idea. When he'd asked her about trying again, it had sounded like the right thing to do, and she thought it would make her happy. It just didn't feel right and speaking with him over the phone made her feel queasy and uneasy.

She just didn't feel that when she was talking to Derek. Since their conversation, organising to meet up on the trail on Sunday, she'd only spoken to him once, but it had been comfortable, like it was something she always had done and always would do. And she really was looking forward to tomorrow, Sunday. They'd arranged to meet at noon, where Meredith normally parked her car, and apparently Maddie had insisted they'd bring a picnic with them. Derek also mentioned he knew of an opening at the top of the hill where they could sit to eat, and it all just felt so surreal.

She'd made it clear, this wasn't a sort of date, or it changed anything between them. She didn't want that right now. She needed to figure things out with Brian and get the straightened out first before she even thought about what would come next, if anything would come next.

This was for Maddie. He'd mentioned on their last call how the paperwork had come through, that Laura didn't want, legally, to be Maddie's mom anymore. He was worried about Maddie. She knew that without him explicitly saying it. She'd been quieter, keeping to herself in daycare and not interacting with the few kids she'd made friendships with. It worried Meredith as well, even though it felt irrational for her to care so much. But she did care. She cared about the little girl she'd only spoken with a handful of times. She was kind, and smart, and beautiful, and she couldn't imagine how anyone would not want her in their life.

It was obvious that Derek's world revolved around Maddie, even though she still didn't know the details of what had gone, why he'd come to Seattle when she was back in New York. It wasn't really her place to ask for those details, and if he wanted to tell her, she knew that he would. Other than keeping Maddie a secret initially, he'd always been honest with her, and really she understood why he'd kept Maddie a secret. She still hadn't even hinted towards Noah. She understood that it takes a lot of commitment and trust to let people into that part of your life.

But today, her mother was expecting her for lunch at a café near the hospital with Maggie, so she had to get through that first before preparing herself for tomorrow. She was glad to be having lunch with them, in a sense, it meant she didn't have to go back to Sacramento before leaving for France on Monday. If she hadn't stayed for lunch, given that she rarely travelled or worked on a Sunday, she wouldn't be able to spend time with Derek and Maddie on the Sunday without having to explain to Brian what she was doing.

She finished brushing through her hair and grabbed her keys from the hook behind the front door before stepping out into the hallway, just as her phone started ringing. She groaned softly, pressing the call button for the elevator as she answered it.

"Hey, Mom, what's up?" she said as she stepped on the elevator.

"I'm not going to make it to the café on time to meet you and Maggie, I've told her to come by the hospital and wait for me there, you should meet her there too," Ellis said, sounding like she was in the middle of an OR.