Everyone Has Secrets

Chapter 30

"Let me get this right," Maggie said as they sat in Ellis' office, waiting for her, "You got with Derek, as a way to, as you put it, pass the time when you were filling in as Chief. You went on a date with him before leaving for Italy, you come back with Brian, find out Derek has a daughter whose mother has abandoned her. Now, you're trying again with Brian, but still spending time with Derek and his daughter?"

"I mean... pretty much, yeah," she shrugged.

"Can I be straight with you, Mer?" Maggie said, her head tilting slightly.

"Sure, everyone else has made it very obvious how they feel," she laughed slightly, running her hand over her face.

"I understand why you want to try again with Brian, I do. You have history together, a lot of history, and it's a mix of bad and good, but sometimes the bad outweighs the good, and you owe it to yourself to be happy, you don't owe anyone else anything," she said, taking her hand with a gentle squeeze, "You looked happier than I've seen you in over three years stood there with Derek and Maddie."

"Maggie, I... I don't know," she sighed softly, "I can't let my feelings for Derek be an excuse for not trying with Brian. I do... I love Brian, I don't see myself not loving Brian, it just feels different with Derek. And then there's Maddie, I guess I feel bad for her, like I used to be her."

"Mer, when I picked you up from Sacramento...," Maggie's head dropped, "I don't think you and Brian... I'm not telling you what to do, I just don't want to see you like that again."

"I know, I know it was bad, but maybe it's different this time, and I won't know if I don't try, I at least owe it to Noah to try," she rushed out, not even thinking about her words as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Meredith," Maggie sighed softly, moving to sit next to her and wrapping her arms around her, "You owe it to Noah to be happy, whether that's with Brian, Derek, by yourself or with someone else."

"I have to do this, Maggie, I have to," she murmured, trying to hold back anymore tears before Ellis came back and found her like this, then she definitely wouldn't hear the end of it.

"I know, Mer," Maggie said, rubbing her shoulder a moment before moving back to her seat.

"Now you've made me cry and you know Ellis will go on if she sees me crying," she laughed softly as she wiped under her eyes.

"Oh God, I didn't think of that," Maggie said, rolling her eyes in a similar way to how both Meredith and their mother did, laughing with her.

"When are you moving back to Seattle anyway?" Meredith said, looking to change the subject off herself.

"Pretty soon, actually," she grinned softly, "I'm aiming for June when the new intake of interns starts."

"What are you waiting on?" Meredith frowned slightly.

"A job... the right place to live," Maggie shrugged, not meeting Meredith's eyes.

"You've met a boy!" Meredith grinned at her half-sister, "We both know you can get a job at any time right here, you can live with Mom if you're struggling to find somewhere, hell there's apartments to let in my building. You've met a boy."

"I... might have met a boy," Maggie's cheeks became lightly flushed as Meredith continued to grin, crossing her arms over her chest as she sat back, "But you can't tell Mom!"

"I won't," Meredith laughed softly, "But you can't lie to me, Margaret."

"I hate it when you use my full name," Maggie groaned, pulling her phone out as it went off.