CO Short Stories [COMPLETED]

[Canon] Mine Your Own Business

(Disclaimer: a lot of the dialogue in this chapter is recycled from Inanimate Insanity 2, episode 13. Although I have added some of my own words in, not all content here is mine.)

July 31st, 2020

Fan adjusted his video camera carefully, making sure that the red light was on and blinking. He stepped back, revealing that he was wearing a blue bow tie with yellow polka-dots. Also within the camera's view was his laptop, which sat on a stepstool to his left, and his egg, leaning against the stool.

He smiled nervously. "Last time on: Inanimate Insanity!" he started out, before immediately realizing he'd forgotten his headband. "...hang on." Fan grabbed the light blue band and stretched it out over his head before releasing it. It snapped closed over his face, blinding him and folding him up. "WHAT THE!?-"

The recording cut to static, before quickly switching back to Fan coughing into his fist. He began with, "We were suddenly...!" then bent down to grab something. He came back up with a sheet of paper which had a doodle of nine objects on it. "Down to the final eight!"

Fan paused, and noticed that Marshmallow was still on the drawing. "Uh." He swiftly tore off her corner of the paper.

Static filled the recording once more, but only briefly. Fan continued to speak to an invisible audience as Lightbulb and Test Tube's actions filled the screen. "When MePhone introduced the last challenge as just painting, I thought it was going to be boring. But, oh, it was far from that! Paintbrush and Suitcase put their proverbial heads together, and with the help of me and the rest of the former Bright Lights, they got Microphone eliminated! And here I was thinking Mic might actually make it to the finale. Truly anything can happen! Hah! Uh..."

He paused for a moment and looked curious about something, before putting on a smile again and returning to the camera. "And that's what you missed on... Inanimate Insa-"

The camera ran out of battery.

"...and I, am Steve. Steve Cobs!"

"I put the U-U-Unctional in Functional."

"Rest assured... I have the means to protect you."

"Are you sure it was her?" Paintbrush asked.

BFB Taco nodded. "I didn't actually see her, but it's the only explanation that comes to mind. None of my other teammates believe Teardrop though, even after she tried to explain everything she saw through writing. They still don't really respect her."

"That's... concerning."

"Well, my whole team's been kinda a mess for basically the entire competition so far, myself included. I'm more or less used to it."

"Tell me about it."

Bottle pointed to herself. "Well, my team performs pretty nicely, I'd say!"

Taco glanced at her. "It hasn't really seemed like that recently."

"Oh, I'm sure Pen and Tree got over their feud."