Jake was looking at some restaurants for later that day, and Charles noticed him.
"Bouche Manger. Oh, small plate, casual-chic ambiance, no free soda refills..." Charles gasped. "Jakey's going on a date."
You looked over nervously.
Charles ran over to you. "Are you going on a date with y/n?"
"What? No. Why?" asked Jake.
"Uh, because you guys just kissed on that mission" Charles said.
"Charles, we just kissed 'cause we were undercover. That's it" Jake said.
"Yeah, it didn't mean anything" you said.
"Not that it's any of your business, Boyle, but the person I am taking on a date is a girl from the gym" said Jake.
"What? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about her? Or that you go to the gym? Jake, avoid the weights. Nobody wants you turning into another Terry. Ugh" said Charles.
"Hey, people like the way that I look" said Terry.
"Sure they do, big guy" said Charles. "Look, I can't believe you're gonna take some fitness floozy to Bouche Manger. You should be going with y/n. Right, y/n?"
You laughed. "Uh... Whatever. Date the gym girl."
"See? It's never gonna happen, Boyle, okay? Because I find y/n repulsive, and she finds me extremely handsome. So stop pressuring us" said Jake.
"Oh, you sweet naïve boy. I haven't even begun to pressure you two. I've already written my best man speech for your wedding" Charles said. Charles began to walk away, but then turned around quickly. "Oh, I'm gonna need you to get married on a farm. A lot of my jokes rely on that."
------------------------
At Bouche Manger
"So, here we are, officially on a date, romantical date" said Jake.
"Yes, we are. No longer just colleagues. Dating" you said. "You got a haircut. It looks nice."
"Oh, thanks. You also got a haircut at some point in your life. I'm sure that's not your baby hair. That would be crazy" said Jake.
You laughed.
"But, uh... Yeah, you look very nice" said Jake.
"Domo arigato" you said.
"Do you speak Japanese?" asked Jake.
"No" you answered.
"Oh. Uh, sorry. I think I'm feeling a little awkward" said Jake.
"Yeah, me too" you said.
"How do we make it not weird?" asked Jake.
"I know. Normally I don't do this on dates, but, let's just get super drunk" you said.
"Yes, great idea" said Jake. "Pardon me, ma'am. Could you please bring us four kamikaze shots?"
"And four for me as well" you added.
"Ah, I like your style. See, we can do this. We're back on track. We're keeping it light and breezy" said Jake.
Later that night
"So we broke a rule" said Jake.
"Yeah. I hope it wasn't a mistake" you said.
"'I hope it wasn't a mistake', title of your sex tape" said Jake. He gasped. "Title of our sex tape."
--------------------------
"So how was the date with the floozy?" asked Charles the next day. "We are not leaving these seats until you give me some deets."
Jake looked around and then looked at you. "All right, fine. It started off a bit rocky, but it ended up being really fun."
"Did you kiss? Did you french?" asked Charles.
"Boyle, I'm not gonna answer that. And no one over the age of twelve says 'french'" Jake said.
"Oh, that's a yes. Oh, my God, you had sex. I can tell because you're glowing. Ugh, Jake, no one wants to hear about your sex life" Charles said.
"You just asked me repeatedly" said Jake.
"Because I was rooting for you and y/n, but now I can see your super serious about this anonymous gym seductress. Ugh, I am so sorry, y/n" said Charles.
"It doesn't matter to me. I'm - I would never date Jake. I work with Jake" you said.
"I'd love to see you date someone from work. You'd be so nervous" said Rosa.
"You'd be nervous because of how well I would handle it" you said.
"Mm. Sick burn" Rosa said.
"Peralta. Dozerman says he wants to see you" said Terry, walking over.
------------------------
"Yeah, I'm trying to find some evidence. I'm just gonna look in here" said Jake, walking into the evidence lock up. He closed the door. "Another perfect cover. Two for two. Nailed it. All right, I talked to Dozerman and convinced him to outlaw all personal talk at work. We're in the clear!"
"And everyone hates you for that, but this is working, and no one knows" you said.
"I know. It's the best. And you know what? I'm glad we broke the rule and had sex on the first date" said Jake.
"Me too, 'cause we're like, really good at it" you said.
"So good, right?" asked Jake.
"Stupid good" you said.
"It makes no sense" said Jake. "We're light and breezy. If we want to break rules, break rules. Like, what's another rule we could break?"
"No making out at work" you suggested.
"Okay, that's very flattering, y/n, but there are some rules that I shall never -" said Jake.
"Let's go" you said, grabbing his hand and leading him behind some shelves.
"Okay" said Jake, following you.
-----------------------
Dozerman walked into the evidence lock up. "You two have been in this evidence locker -"
He saw y/n and Jake kissing.
"Hey!" said Dozerman angrily.
"What? Nothing" you said, pushing Jake behind some shelves.
"Nothing, you were just making out with Peralta" said Dozerman.
"Ah, there's that candy bar wrapper I was looking for. Oh, l/n, what are you doing here?" Jake said.
"So I guess it is hos before cho's with you, friend. Now I understand why nothing gets done in this precinct. The detectives are too busy Frenching with each other, but you know what? Your little honeymoon is over! 'Cause as long as I'm here, you two are done! And I'm gonna be here a long, long, long, long, long, long, long - " Dozerman said. He squeaked and grabbed his arm. "Oh, this is a heart attack. This right here, this is a heart attack. Ooh, it's a big one. Ooh, ooh, ooh."
Dozerman fell onto some boxes, causing them to fall to the floor.
"I'm gonna get help" you said, and ran out of the room.
"Sir, it's all right. We're getting help" said Jake.
"Okay. Tell my wife that I love her... work ethic" said Dozerman.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
