"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake.
"Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said.
"For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you."
"I like you too" you said.
Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
The Vulture walked into the briefing room. "All right, ladies, I don't get a lot of time here, so what you say we make like, Boyle's mom and you debrief me?"
"Didn't happen, and I should know. She tells me everything" said Charles.
"Yeah, not everything, Chucky. She took off my undies" said the Vulture. "Hey, Peralta. What is that?"
"This?" asked Jake.
"Yeah" the Vulture said.
"Oh, nothing. Just... Open and shut case" Jake said.
"Well, looks like a pretty fat file for a dunker. What is it?" said the Vulture.
"Just... Some old lady has a missing... Torso that we can't find" said Jake awkwardly.
"Put it in the major crimes pile" the Vulture said, pointing at the large pile of files.
"But we already gave them all of our felonies" Jake said.
"It's because I got a bet going with the captain of the A4 to see who's squad can solve the most cases. Winner chooses a tattoo for the loser, guess what I'm getting him?" said the Vulture, taking away the file.
"Calvin peeing on the Tasmanian Devil?" asked Jake.
"No, it's supposed to be a bad tattoo. You're really stupid in the morning, aren't you?" asked the Vulture.
"Captain, we all want you to win that bet, but do you think maybe we could keep a few real cases?" Terry asked.
"Look, I'm going to make it real simple for you. We only solve misdemeanors, wieners. Say it" the Vulture said.
"We only solve misdemeanors... Wieners" everyone said.
"Congratulations. You just called yourselves wieners" said the Vulture. "Dismissed."
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The Vulture stopped talking to Jake, and said "Everybody, listen up. Anyone caught working on a case that I didn't assign loses their overtime. Capooch?"
"Capooch" everyone said.
The Vulture pointed at Jake.
"Capooch" said Jake.
The Vulture walked away, and into his office.
"Uncapooch. You didn't say 'No take backs'" said Jake, and grabbed the file.
------------------------
The Vulture walked into the breakroom where y/n, Rosa and Amy were drinking coffee and talking.
"Ah, there you are. I got something special for the three of you."
"Great, what you got?" asked Amy.
"A month from today is my birthday. I need you to throw me a party, all right? Make it epic, surprise me" said the Vulture.
"Are you asking us to plan you a birthday party?" you asked.
"Yeah, Helen Keller. Pay attention" said the Vulture.
"Did you choose us because we're women?" asked Rosa.
"Women love planning parties. It's in the Bible" the Vulture said, walking out of the room.
"Unbelievable. What a waste of time" said Amy.
"Disagree. This is an amazing use of time. We have complete control over that dummy's party. We can ruin it" Rosa said.
"Yeah, fun" said Amy, smiling.
"Oh, my God, we can" you said.
"I'll just mess up a captain's orders on purpose. It'll be so - I can't even fake it" Amy said.
-------------------------
Sixteen days later
"All right, sluggers. Let's see what you got for the big b-day bash" said the Vulture, leaning back on the chair.
"I thought you wanted us to surprise you" said Amy, confused.
"It's a figure of speech, Detective Stupid-Ago" said the Vulture.
"Well, I was thinking a DJ, two signature cocktails, passed hors d-oeuvres" suggested Amy.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Passed hors d'oeuvres? What's this, a fundraiser for French dorks?" the Vulture asked.
"So, no passed hors d'oeuvres?" Amy asked.
"I can't even answer that" said the Vulture. "All right, l/n, what were you thinking?"
"Um, the party would be at Shaws, there would be a DJ or a band, everyone gets super drunk and basically, that's it" you said.
"Not bad. Tough guy? What you got planned?" the Vulture asked Rosa.
"I don't know. Meet at a bar, and... Drink there" said Rosa.
"That's it? Well, still better than Santiago's. Look, this is real important to me, all right? My brother's hot wife is gonna be there, and I haven't seen her since his funeral" said the Vulture.
"Wow" you said.
"Yeah, right? I mean, you only get one shot at your brother's widow" the Vulture said.
Amy was shocked.
"Just go" said Rosa.
"Oh" said Amy.
This will probably be the last update for just over a week because I'm going on holiday to a summer camp with my cousin, then I'm staying with my aunt, uncle and cousin for a night and then I've got my Duke of Edinburgh expedition, so I won't have time to update.
