Holt walked out of his office. "Attention: The 99 will be hosting a bomb defusing class tomorrow. I highly recommend attending. Defusing an explosive device is the ultimate test of skill under pressure. And the stakes: Life or death."
"Will lunch be provided?" asked Hitchcock.
"Yes" answered Holt.
"Count us in" said Scully.
Hitchcock and Scully high-fived.
"Anyone else?" asked Holt.
"I'm in" said Rosa.
"Yeah, I'll come" said y/n.
"Me too" said Amy. "This class sounds like 'da bomb.'" She laughed slightly.
"I'd rather you didn't attend if you're not going to take it seriously" said Holt.
"Yup" said Amy.
"Dismissed" said Holt, walking into his office.
"I'm gonna dominate that class. You don't cross-stitch for twenty years without developing a steady hand" said Amy confidently.
"Wow, you really think that's a brag, don't you?" asked Rosa. "Twenty bucks say I do better in that class than you do, thread-head."
"All right, you're on" said Amy.
They shook hands.
"And I'll have you know that 'thread-head' is a glowing compliment in the sewing community. If you'd wanted to insult me, you should've called me a stitch skipper" Amy said.
"Okay, stitch skipper" Rosa said, walking away.
"Oh, I handed it to you!" said Amy.
Y/n walked over to Amy, holding the kitten. "Do you know any good cat names?"
--------------------
Holt walked into the briefing room. "Ah, pressure bombs with mercury switches. IEDs with cell phone detonators. Oh, is that C4? Oh, my, we've got some great bombs today people."
"Welcome" said an officer, walking into the room. Y/n, Amy and Rosa turned to face him. "In this course, we'll be learning how to dispose of ten different types of explosive devices. What you learn today could save your lives and countless others. Any questions?"
"Yes" said Amy, raising her hand. "Will there be a grading or point system to see who's best?"
"At saving lives" added Rosa sharply.
"Yes, at saving lives. Saving lives was always implied." Amy rolled her eyes.
"Well, you will be timed" said the officer.
"Perfect" said Amy.
"That'll do" said Rosa.
"But I would recommend ignoring the clock and focusing on - "
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you answered the question. Hurry up and teach us" said Rosa, her and Amy taking their places around a table.
Y/n sighed. This was going to be a long course.
--------------------
Amy and Rosa were both bent over their bombs, fiddling with the wires. The officer walked by.
"Hey, slowpoke" said Amy. "When we get out of here, I'm gonna needlepoint you a pillow that says 'Kapow.'"
"Hey, Amy. You suck" said Rosa.
"Oh, yeah? Well, guess what? There's more room on that pillow - "
"Hey, before you finish: You still suck" said Rosa.
"Argh!"
Y/n laughed and focused on her bomb.
"I'm the one who's working so hard on this trash talk, and I'm the one whose feelings are getting hurt" said Amy.
From opposite Y/n, Holt turned to Amy. "Santiago, Diaz, enough. This is not about who's fastest. This is a bomb dismantling class. We are police officers, not street urchins playing speed chess in the park. For shame."
---------------------
Hitchcock and Scully happily ate their sandwiches, leaving their bombs unattended on the table.
Rosa looked up at Amy. "Hey, I'm sorry. You don't suck."
"I'm sorry too. We both said hurtful things" said Amy.
"You didn't. I was fine" said Rosa.
"Well, now you're just lying. But Holt was right. We should have taken this more seriously" said Amy.
Holt laughed loudly from the next table over, causing y/n to jump and accidentally cut the wrong wire. The small bomb released some smoke and y/n glared across the table at Holt.
"Done" said Holt triumphantly. "Fastest time today by a full few minutes. Whoo, mama!"
He danced across the room towards Amy and Rosa's table, both of whom were wearing horrified expressions.
"Is everything okay over here?" asked the officer.
"Yes, couldn't be better, because I destroyed you both" said Holt.
"What the hell? I thought you said this wasn't about winning" said Rosa.
"I did say that, so you would go slower and I would win, which is what happened" Holt said proudly.
"You're just as competitive as we are" said Amy.
"Absurd. I'm more competitive Now who's 'da bomb'?" said Holt.
Amy's jaw dropped in shock.
--------------
Holt walked into the break room, where Rosa, Amy, y/n, Hitchcock and Scully were all working or eating.
"Santiago, Diaz, l/n, I wanted to talk to you about our performance in yesterday's bomb defusing course" said Holt.
"We know, sir. You won" said Rosa as Amy glared at Holt.
"No, the four of us all failed. Apparently our instructor felt we didn't take it seriously enough. Even though L/n was not participating in the competition, her bomb exploded" said Holt, handing Rosa a sheet of paper.
"But Hitchcock and Scully passed?" asked y/n, looking at the paper over Rosa's shoulder.
"What? How did they defuse bombs better than we did?" asked Amy, grabbing the paper from Rosa.
"Those were bombs?" asked Hitchcock.
"Unbelievable" said Scully.
They both left the room.
"It's a low moment for us all" said Holt. "I think the lesson here is that we should not allow our competitiveness to interfere with the sanctity of our job."
"Totally agree, sir. However, there is a precision driving class next weekend" said Rosa.
"Fastest one round the track wins" said Holt.
"It's on" said Rosa.
"I'm gonna run you both off the road into a wall" said Amy. "I'm gonna kill you."
"Oh, my" said Holt.
"That's a bit worrying" said y/n.
So I don't really have a reason as to why I didn't update for about eight months, I just wasn't really motivated to write. I'm also very sorry for this chapter being so shit, hopefully they'll get better soon. Don't expect regular updates, just know that I probably am writing a chapter and it'll be out in however long it takes.
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Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
