Dozerman's body was wheeled out of the precinct in a body bag by the two coroners.
"What happened in there?" asked Terry.
"Nothing. We were just working, separately" said Jake.
"Yeah, and then Dozerman just came in and died" you said.
"Peacefully, like an old cat" said Jake.
"Can you think of anything that may have caused Dozerman to be startled?" asked Terry.
You and Jake both shook your heads.
"Nope, uh... He might have been startled by how far apart we were standing" you said.
"That seems unlikely, but obviously he had a ton of health problems, so, you know, this seems pretty open and shut. Do me a favor and pull the surveillance tapes" Terry said.
"Right, the surveillance tapes" Jake said.
"Yep, because this is a police precinct" you said.
"You two have something to tell me?" asked Terry.
"All right, fine. Detective l/n and I may have been in there snorking" said Jake.
"Yes! Oh! Wait. What about the gym floozy? Y/n was the gym floozy. The gym floozy was under my nose the whole time" said Charles, hugging you and Jake. "Oh, I am over the moon. Over the moon.
"So, what is this? Casual? Serious? I need to know how to make fun of you. You guys dating?" asked Rosa.
"No" said Jake at the same time you said "Yes."
"Oh, that's not good" Rosa said.
"I mean, yes. I just said no because of the rules. We said we weren't gonna tell anyone" Jake said.
"It's very new, and we're still figuring it out" you said.
"Enough" said Terry. "Look. Terry loves love, but Terry also loves maintaining a professional work environment. As your commanding officer, I am very disappointed in both of you."
Terry walked off.
"So, Boyle... Let's go look at those surveillance tapes, yeah?" said Rosa.
"Oh, absolutely" Charles said.
--------------------
You and Jake were talking in the break room.
"Hey, so everyone knows about us now, which means all the rules have been broken and nothing bad happened" said Jake.
"Nothing bad happened? We killed our captain. Jake. Is this a bad idea?" you asked. "It seems like the universe is sending us a lot of signs that we should hit the brakes. Hasn't exactly been light and breezy."
"Yeah, it's been a little more stressful and death-y" said Jake.
"You have to admit it hasn't started out great" you said.
"What do you want to do then? Go back to being colleagues?" asked Jake.
"Yeah. Maybe that's what it needs to be right now" you said.
"Okay" said Jake.
"Okay" you said. "Sorry."
You quickly walked out of the break room, leaving Jake alone.
--------------
"No, no, no, no, no" said Charles, pacing in Jake's apartment.
"Boyle, can we please just go to dinner?" asked Jake.
"No, no, no, no, no! This is not how you and y/n are supposed to end. You're supposed to grow old and die holding each other as your cruise ship slowly takes on water" said Charles.
"What do you want me to say? We tried really hard. We made rules. We kept it light and breezy" said Jake.
"Light and breezy?" Charles asked. He punched Jake.
"Ow!" said Jake.
"Light and breezy is how you describe a linen pantsuit, not a relationship you care about" Charles said.
"We were just being cautious" Jake said.
"Cautious?" asked Charles and punched Jake again. "You guys started this with one foot out the door. That's what doomed you, not the universe."
"Actually, it makes a lot of sense" said Jake.
Charles punched him.
"Ow, I was agreeing with you!" Jake said.
"I'm sorry, I'm just so excited about all this!" Charles said.
"All right, so what do I do? Tell me" Jake asked.
"Easy. You march over there, you tell her how you feel, and you bring a fancy bottle of lavender shampoo, because shampooing a lover's head is the most erotic thing you could ever possibly -" said Charles.
"No, no, no shampoo. That's the worst. But I am gonna go over there. I'm gonna tell her how I feel" said Jake.
"Yes! Go get her" said Charles. "No, wait until it starts raining. No, that's crazy. Go now."
"Okay" said Jake, and he walked over to the door.
Jake opened his door to see you about to knock.
"Ahh!" said Jake, jumping.
"Sorry! Sorry" you said.
"It's okay" said Jake.
"I was home, and I really wanted to talk to someone about us and Dozerman, and about Holt being gone, and then I realized that the only person I want to talk about that stuff with is you. So screw just being colleagues and screw light and breezy, right?" you said.
Jake sighed happily. "Definitely."
Charles walked over. "Guys, we did it. We really did it."
"Oh, Charles is here" you said.
"Big time" said Jake.
------------------
"There's a rumor the new captain'll be here today" said Terry.
The elevator doors dinged opened revealing someone's feet, with one leg crossed over the other and began to walk through the bullpen towards the briefing room.
"Now, I don't know who Wuntch is sending us, but it doesn't matter, because we're a family, we're strong, and together, we can do anything. Nine Nine!" said Terry.
"Nine Nine!" said everyone loudly.
The new captain walked into the room. "What's up, ding dongs? I'm your new captain."
"The Vulture" said Jake, horrified.
"No" said Charles.
"Still hot" said Rosa.
"Now, I know we have our history, me vulturing your cases, me telling you to eat my farts, but that's all in the past, 'cause now that I run this precinct, things are gonna get much, much worse" said the Vulture. "So suck it."
"No!" shouted Jake.
Charles is me during this chapter.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
