"Okay, gang. I'm out. I'll be back on the 27th. I've got two days of family time. Do not attempt to contact me. I do not want a repeat of last year when Scully called me fifty times on Christmas morning" said Terry, picking up his bag.
"No, I called you once. My butt called the other fourty-nine" said Scully.
"Yeah, well, my brother-in-law Zeke was real judgy about how much my phone was buzzing" said Terry.
Cagney and Lacey began to open their presents, Terry and Sharon smiling at them. Terry's phone began to ring. He tried to ignore it, but Zeke picked up the phone.
"Somebody's got a lot of business to tend to. Who are you? Barbara Corcoran?" said Zeke.
"He didn't even make me one of the good sharks. I'm clearly Lori. Nobody call me!" said Terry, leaving the bullpen.
Charles walked over to Gina. "Gina! It's our first annual Boyle-Linetti Christmas? Are you excited about going to town on Daddy's nog?"
"Christmas is cancelled. Charles ruined it" said Gina. "I'm gonna be a little late. I got to help Jake do some shopping."
"Oh, last minute gifts. Ooh, who didn't make the cut?" said Charles, following Gina to Jake's desk where y/n and Jake were talking. "Tell me, Jake, who's the poor sack at the bottom of your list?"
"Actually, y/n" said Jake awkwardly.
"y/n? Oof! That's bad" said Charles.
"Mm-hmm" said Jake.
"Just give her what you got me. It'll be fine, won't it, y/n?" asked Charles.
"Uh, sure. I didn't get Jake anything as well" you lied.
"But then I wouldn't have a gift for you. Would you be cool with that?" asked Jake.
"No, that would eviscerate me. I'll get my coat. I'm gonna help you find something for her" Charles said.
"Oh, that's not necessary" Jake said.
"Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, Jake" Charles said, putting his hands round Jake's face.
"Also, not necessary to touch my face" Jake said.
Charles put his hands on Jake's shoulders. "It's Christmas. A time for friendship."
Charles walked away.
"Damn it. All right. I'll guess you'll just have to distract him when we get to the store" said Jake.
"On it. I'll take him to housewares and I'll ask him the difference between a skillet and a frying pan. That'll buy you six hours" said Gina.
"Perfect. Gina, you just saved Christmas" said Jake.
"It's what I do. Every damn year" said Gina.
Gina walked away.
"You did get me something for Christmas, right?" asked Jake.
"Yeah, that was a lie. I got your gift like a month ago" you said.
-------------------------
In the shop
"Whereas with the skillet, the approach to fish skin is completely different. And your spatula technique is completely intuitive" said Charles.
"Please, tell me more" said Gina.
"Okay. I got it. They're closing. Let's go" said Jake.
Charles grabbed the bag from Jake. "Oh, let's take a peep at that purchase. Cologne?"
"Uh, it's perfume. For y/n" Jake said.
"It's called Canyon Stank. It's got a man riding a burro on it" Charles said.
"Oh, does it? I didn't notice. I just like the way it smelled" Jake said.
"I wear this cologne, Jake. I'm a Stank man" Charles said.
"Um, I don't know, maybe just subconsciously I wanted y/n to smell more like you" said Jake.
"Okay, little creepy, bud. Coming on real strong" said Charles.
"Wow, the tables have really turned" said Gina.
Glass shattered behind Charles. Jake looked over to see a man in a mask dragging a customer.
"Shut up! Keep walking!" said the man, holding a gun to the customer's head.
"Shoot! The store is being robbed! Come here" said Jake, and they all hid behind a shelf.
Another man stood on a shelf and spray painted the camera.
"All right, just slowly back up. There's a door behind us. We just have to get out and call the Nine-Nine. Go" said Jake.
"Just head for the vault. We're good" said a robber.
Jake, Gina and Charles quietly ran towards the door when the lights switched off.
"Lock 'em up" shouted a robber.
"They're sealing the exits" Charles said.
"Oh, my God. It's real life Die Hard" said Jake. "I mean, 'Oh, no! Crime."
------------------------
Y/n, Holt, Rosa and Amy were stood on the beach. Amy was wearing a full length coat like the ones P.E teachers always wear and was shivering.
"You all right? You look pretty cold" said Rosa.
"I'm not. I'm actually hot" said Amy.
An air horn blew and everyone took off their coats and ran into the water.
"Hot, and ready to get this super fun thing over with" said Amy.
"First, a toast" said Holt.
"Great. Let's drag this out" Amy said.
"To the sea" Holt said.
"To the sea! Hear, hear!" Amy said.
"I wasn't done" said Holt.
"Amy, let him finish his ocean toast" said y/n.
"Thank you, y/n" said Holt. "I'm reminded of a beloved Christmas carol by English poet Christina Rossetti. 'In the bleak mid-winter, frosty wind made moan, Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone.'"
"Moan, stone, phone. We get it. Down the hatch. Let's get this over with" said Amy.
Amy ran towards the water, still wearing her coat.
"Noooo!" said Amy the second her feet touched the water. "Oh, my God!"
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake. "Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said. "For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you." "I like you too" you said. Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
