"We kissed, like, three hours ago" said Jake.
"Yes, we did kiss... For reals" you said.
"For reals, reals" Jake said. "Listen, I know you said you don't want to date cops, but I really like you."
"I like you too" you said.
Seasons 3 and 4 of Brookly...
"Hey, Gina! We got an anonymous gift basket" said Jake.
Curious, Gina walked into the briefing room where the squad was eating the food that came in the gift basket.
"It's got meats, cheeses, candies, all the food groups" said Jake.
"The cheese is amazing. It melts in my mouth and in my hands" said Charles as Gina rolled her eyes.
"Hmm, French chocolates, French cheeses, tiny French pickles. Did none of you detectives think this might be a gift for Captain Holt from someone in France? Like his husband, par exemple?" suggested Gina.
"What?" Jake laughed. "No way. This is a nice present from an unknown, appreciative citizen that wanted us to munch."
"Hmm, what's this, then?" asked Gina, holding up a card. "'Dear Captain Raymond Holt, thinking of you. Best, Dr Kevin Cozner, Ph.D.' He even used their pet names."
Amy gasped. "Oh, no, I ate the chocolate-covered strawberry. That's the most intimate snack of them all."
"Holt's gonna be back from his meeting in thirty minutes" said Terry, panicking.
"What do we do?" asked Rosa.
"Eat the note!" said Terry, grabbing the note.
"No!" said y/n.
"No. It's okay. We can fix this" said Jake.
Thirty-two minutes later
"Check it out, sir" said Jake, leading Holt into his office where the squad was. The gift basket was wrapped in red wrapping paper with a large ribbon and the note attached to it. "A lovely gift that Kevin sent you all the way from Paris."
"Straight from Paris!" Charles said enthusiastically.
Holt took off the ribbon. "Stapler, scissors. Rubber bands. That man really knows me."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Holt walked into the bullpen. "Attention, squad. I just received a call. A very important, very high profile celebrity was robbed in our precinct."
"What celebrity, sir? Is it a Chris?" asked Jake. "Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt? Pine? Brown? Cross?" He gasped. "Is it a non-Chris?"
"This is a sensitive matter, and I can only disclose details to the lead detective on the case" said Holt. He turned to Terry. "Sergeant, let me know who's available, ASAP."
"Yes, sir" said Terry, and Holt walked away into his office.
"Sarge, Sarge, Sarge. You know that I'm your guy for this. You can't give a celebrity case to someone like Amy. The last movie she saw was a documentary about spelling bees" said Jake.
"Wrong; It was about the font Helvetica, and it played like an action thriller" Amy said.
"You already have a case, Peralta. I assigned it to you this morning" Terry said.
"That was just some kid with a little bit of pot on him. Meanwhile, Chris Rock is tied up in his basement, calling out for my help, and you're standing in my way" said Jake.
"Just work the case I assigned you" said Terry.
"Can't I just give my case to Hitchcock and Scully?" asked Jake. "I mean, they clearly have a ton of time on their hands. Hitchcock hasn't even gotten out of his chair today."
"Hey, Jake, I can go anywhere in this thing" said Hitchcock, sat in his chair in the men's toilet.
"But... Shouldn't" said Jake awkwardly.
"Hitchcock and Scully are house mouses. They do paperwork and they're good at it. They don't go out in the field" said Terry.
Jake sighed.
"Boyle, you take the celebrity case" said Terry, walking out of the room.
"Me? Instead of Jake? Have you lost your damn mind?" asked Charles, surprised. "I'm so sorry, Jake. I don't know what's wrong with Terry."
"Don't worry. I'm gonna work it with you. I'm giving my drug bust to Hitchcock and Scully. It's time to get these mice out of their hice" said Jake. "Oh, that was lame. Life is meaningless. We're all gonna die. Mouses out of their houses. Yes, I am the greatest. Every breath is a gift. Sorry about the roller coaster."
"I'm just happy I'm tall enough to ride" said Charles.
---------------------
Amy walked into the break room, where Gina, Rosa and y/n were drinking coffee and talking.
"Hey, Rosa" said Amy. "Saw you hadn't signed up for the blood drive yet, so I brought you the sheet."
Amy held out a clipboard.
"Sorry, can't. I'm... under seventeen years old" said Rosa, looking at the papers.
"Wait, you didn't sign up last year, either. Or the year before. Are you afraid of needles?" asked Amy.
"I don't like being stabbed by someone so they can steal my blood. I'm crazy" said Rosa, turning back towards the coffee machine.
"This is amazing; You're scared of something I'm not. I'm tougher than you. I'm tougher than Rosa" said Amy.
Rosa held up a chopstick threateningly.
I think it was a chopstick, I'm not sure.
"Eh, I take it back. I'm so sorry" said Amy. "Look, it's okay. We all have fears. I'm so claustrophobic, I can't even go into the downstairs supply closet. I hear they have some hot new binder clips, but I'll never know."
"I'm scared of businessmen" admitted Gina. "A whole army of gray-suited Brads and Chads trying to suck my soul and redeem it for frequent flyer miles."
"I hate spiders. Have you seen some of the ones in Australia?" asked y/n.
"Great, so you guys get it. Conversation over, bye" said Rosa.
"No, no, no, no, no. What if we each agree to face one of our fears today for ourselves and for all of womenkind?" suggested Amy.
"Ugh. That sounds terrible. But I'm in" said Gina, leaving the room.
"Yeah, I'll do it as well" said y/n, smiling at Amy and leaving the room.
"Fine, I'll do it too" said Rosa, leaving.
Amy sighed. "Guys, come on. I really think this'll be good for - Oh, wait. You - We're doing my thing? Okay."
