I'm Unwanted

Chapter Thirty-Three

(Edited)

*April*

Tyler hands me a cup of water, and I glad take it.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to the doctors?" Tyler asks.

"Yes. I never get sick. It's just stress from school and my family."

"Really? Stress doesn't make you sick like you are. And even if it did, you wouldn't keep getting sick for this long."

"I'm not sick Tyler."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

Tyler sighs. "Can you at least humor me and go to the doctors?"

"Fine. I'm not sick though."

Tyler leads over and kisses my cheek.

"I love you."

"Yeah, I know. Love you too."

...

"Tyler!" I yell.

"You don't have to yell! I'm just in the kitchen!" Tyler yells back.

"I need you to take me to the store."

Tyler enters our room, with a nice looking sandwich. He hands it to me, and I thank him.

"So why to you want to go to the store?"

"I need to get something, obviously."

"Just tell me, and I'll get it so you can stay here and rest."

I can't help the light blush that rises to my face.

It never occurred to me that it could be a possibility. I mean it adds up now that I think of it.

"Uh... you won't know what it is."

"Ok, I'm ready to go now if you want."

...

I hop back in Tyler's car, and he just looks at me.

"So what did you get?"

"You'll figure out soon enough."

Well, he might not. Depends on what the results are.

...

We get home, and I wait a few minutes before going to the bathroom.

I lock the door, and with shaky hands, pull out the pregnancy test I bought.

I quickly pee on it, and drop it on the counter, and just sit against the floor and the bottom of the sink. It'll take a few minutes for the rest to show the results anyway.

A little while ago, I decided I wanted children. I wanted kids, so I could raise them the way I should have been raised. But now that there's an actual chance I could be pregnant with a child, I'm terrified.

And I'm not dumb. I know there's likely going to complications with the pregnancy, if I'm even pregnant, because of the fact I wasn't given food for a long while.

I reach up, and grab the pregnancy test, making sure to cover the top so I can't see the result.

What if I am pregnant? I only had sex once. I didn't even think about pregnancy. What if I'm a terrible mother? What if I'm worse than my own mother?

I move my hand, and my heart stops when I see the small words on the pregnancy test.

I- I can't be pregnant. I'm too young. I'm not even married! Sure, I will be in the future. But... but what if Tyler leaves? I know he said he wanted kids, but what if he didn't actually want kids? What if he doesn't want my kids?

I hurriedly take the rest of the pregnancy tests, which is a total of four. They all come back positive.

Aren't people who lost their period supposed to have trouble getting pregnant? How did I get pregnant, just from one time?!

"Hey Rae, you good? You've been in there for like an hour."

I start shaking worse when I hear Tyler's voice. If he doesn't want me anymore, then I'll have literally nothing. I don't have my family anymore.

What about school? I still have my senior year left. How will I do that pregnant, or with a child?

"Raven?"

I quickly hide the pregnancy box in the back of the cabinet under the sink, and go out of the bathroom.

"Hey, what's wrong Rae?" Tyler asks.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I say shakily as I walk over to the bed and lay down.

Tyler hops on the bed, and pulls me into his chest.

"Baby don't lie. I can tell something's wrong. Just tell me."

I shake my head, "I'm not lying Ty. I'm really ok. Just feeling a little sick."

"I know that's not it, but I'll let it go for now. I love you."

But will he love me if he knows I have his child inside of me.

"Love you too."

...

"Rae, you gotta wake up sugarplums." Tyler whispers to me.

I open my eyes, and see Tyler looking sadly into my eyes.

Did he find out I'm pregnant? Is he leaving me?

I can't help the tears that form in my eyes. What if he leaves me? I can't go through yet another abandonment. I'll go completely insane.

"Baby why are you crying?" Tyler asks wiping the tears off my cheeks.

"It was just a bad dream."I whisper.

"Really? This doesn't have to do with whatever you did yesterday?"

I shake my head. "Nothing happened yesterday."

"Ok, well, I was gonna tell you school starts in a hour. But I think you should stay home from school."

"No, I have to go to school. I'm fine anyway."

Tyler sighs.

"Are you sure you feel fine?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, I guess I'll take you."

I force myself out of bed, and to the closet.

I grab my uniform and walk into the bathroom. I slip into it, and then throw up a few times. I then brush my teeth.

I walk out of the bathroom, and see Tyler changing. I walk past him, and to the kitchen. I make myself some breakfast, and sit crosslegged on the coffee table while eating.

Tyler comes out of the bedroom, with both of our backpacks. He sets them by the door, and walks over to me.

"I love you Raven."

"I love you too."

How do I tell him? How do I tell him I'm pregnant with his child? What if he leaves? What if he no longer loves me?

"Ready to go to school?" Tyler asks.

"Yeah." No. Not one bit.

"You sure you're alright?"

"Yes. I told you yes. I'm perfectly fine." Perfectly fine, while carrying your child you might not want.