Sᴏʀᴀxx Oɴᴇ-Sʜᴏᴛs

Aɴxɪᴇᴛʏ - Pᴛ. 2 ᴛᴏ Mɪʟʟɪᴏɴ Wᴏʀᴅs

A/N: This one's based off of the song 'Anxiety' by Blackbear and FRND, it's a great song too! Enjoy!

Jaxx:

I wrapped my arms around Sora's torso, pulling him against me. I noticed that he didn't move anything of mine, considering this was our room before I left. I smiled to myself as I shut my eyes, already knowing that he was asleep, and I was so happy to have him back.

The next morning, we went down to breakfast, holding hands and both feeling happier than we had in a while. The squad members looked so happy that Sora had gotten out of his room, and that I was back. Sora ate very little still, but no one expected him to eat much after not barely eating at all. When the time came, we both got back to our back-to-back gaming set-up, wearing huge smiles.

It was so nice to play with the squad again, and Sora seemed so happy, which made me extremely happy too. So we were both all smiles and laughs while filming the video, and when the fans saw we were back, they were all very happy, voicing it through comments. Sora and I spent the rest of the day together, going on a walk and actually getting him fresh air, then eating with the squad, and then cuddling in bed and watching a movie. He laid with his head on my chest, arms around me. I put mine around him too, and felt more content than I had in a long time.

We must've fallen asleep, but I woke up to sniffling. As I looked up, panicked, I saw Sora sitting a bit away on the edge of his bed, crying with his head buried in his hands.

"Sora? What's wrong?" I asked, sitting down beside him and rubbing circles on his back.

He looked startled when I was up. "S-sorry I woke you up..." he mumbled.

"It's okay, don't feel bad," I told him, pulling him into a hug. "Why are you sad?"

"I-it's nothing," he stuttered.

I sighed. "It's something though, love. Please tell me, I can help you."

He pulled away from the hug, leaving me to look at him. I was worried he'd walk away, but he wrapped his arms around himself like he was cold, and he looked down sadly. "It's just... I had a bad dream, where... where you left me," he admitted. "Please don't, please please don't."

I pulled him close to my chest. "I won't, I won't ever again. If I do, you're coming with me, because I love you more than anything," I told him.

He smiled a little up at me. "I love you so much too," he said, cuddling into me, and falling asleep almost immediately. I kissed his head and laid him back down, pulling him close. He was so scared I'd leave him again... but I would never. That was the single worst mistake of my life, and I wouldn't make it twice.

~

Sora:

Once Jaxx returned, the squad morale was boosted a whole bunch. The fans were also overjoyed to see both Jaxx and I back, which I was relieved because of. I loved the fans, probably more than anything. Well, anything besides Jaxx, of course.

Since Jaxx had come back, I had started getting anxious when I wasn't with him. I would get scared he was gone again, and those thoughts wouldn't leave my brain. I hated them, but I couldn't prevent them. Jaxx leaving... It obviously took a toll on me, emotionally and physically.

But the aftereffects were terrible. For example, I was still terribly frail and didn't have my eating habits back up fully, even after a month. I would barely sleep, scared that if I fell asleep, he would be gone when I woke up.

That fear came true one day. I awoke on a normal and seemingly peaceful morning, hearing birds chirp outside. I knew from how tired I felt that I had only gone to bed about two hours before, but that wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me is that, when I woke up enough, I realized that something was missing from my arms. Jaxx.

My eyes flew open as I looked left and right for that redhead, but he was nowhere to be seen. I felt my breathing get heavy as my eyes burned with tears.

I can't have a panic attack now, he's not gone, you guys haven't fought since he left... it'll be okay.

However, my reassuring thoughts left when newer, worse ones started flooding in.

Who are you kidding? He left the mess that is you while he still could. He's gone and you know it.

I broke down into tears, barely being able to breathe. This was bad, really really bad... If he left again, I swear I would kill myself. I can't feel that pain again...

"Sora?! Sora, are you okay?!" I heard Jaxx exclaim, making my tears stop as quickly as they'd come as I rubbed the blurriness out of my eyes. "What happened?" he asked, setting down a tray of food on our nightstand and rushing over to sit down by me.

"I...I'm sorry, I thought you left and I panicked..." I muttered, my tears coming again, but slower this time.

He wrapped his arms around me. "You know I wouldn't. I was just going to get us breakfast and bring it up, just as a nice treat," he explained. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault! Let's just... let's just eat, okay?" I asked, giving him a smile as he pulled back to look at me, wiping my tears away with his thumb. He nodded, getting up to retrieve the tray of food, and flipping on the TV.

~

Jaxx:

Although the TV was on, which usually distracted me from my own thoughts, I couldn't pay attention to it. I was too worried about Sora. The panic attack he had that morning was not the first - every time I left him for a short period of time, he would freak out.

I knew what it was though - he had been so depressed that, when I came back, he developed serious separation anxiety from me. The notion of me leaving was too much for him to bear, so I'm guessing he thought that staying around me all the time wouldn't give me the chance, therefore making him feel secure.

I felt terrible knowing that my stupid action was the cause of this behavior. He wouldn't be like this if I hadn't left, not to mention that he was still a bit depressed, and that his body was still unhealthily skinny. I was trying to encourage him to eat more, and knew that every night when we went to bed, he would lie awake for hours, so I tried to push him to sleep more too.

Unfortunately, that seemed to be really hard for him to do, but I never got angry. I don't think I was capable of being upset at my cyan-hair boyfriend ever again, so I tried to be supportive and stay by him as much as possible.

The Squad loved seeing us together again. They would 'Oooh,' 'Awww,' and snap pictures at any given opportunity. Sora and I also kept on flirting in the videos, and his spark was back.

One would think that being depressed meant that spark was gone, but no. He was still flirty, during filming especially. But that's because we were both in the same room, so it wasn't hard for him to feel happy.

Since I wanted to see him happy all the time, I just stuck by him a whole lot. We practically did everything together, which I wasn't opposed to. I don't think I could ever get tired of seeing him smile, laugh, and just be his bubbly-personalitied self.

That's how our relationship carried on. Some people might have found it unhealthy, the amount of time we were spending together. But for me, I wouldn't want it any other way. My focus was helping him get better, and if that meant not leaving his side, so be it. I wouldn't want to, anyway.

Over time, he started to get better. His anxiety started to fade away, and after a few months, he could wake up without me there and be calm, because he started to know that I wasn't planning on leaving any time soon. His frame became less dangerously frail as his eating habits fell back in line, and his depression faded away.

Needless to say, coming back was the best choice I ever made. Being with Sora was the best thing in the world... I don't know why I left it. But now that I was back and he was recovering, we could both start to be completely happy again.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

Bye-bye!

Word Count: 1,459 (not counting A/N's.)