Angel With The Radio. ✓~•book 1•~✓

Sorry, again

Listen, this isn't a chapter.

But this is important.

I don't know if I'm going to be able to continue, every time I try to continue this story I feel weak and miserable.

I'm trying my best to continue this book, I really am.

But I don't think my best is enough.

This Fandom is toxic, and I haven't even seen the actual bad parts.

But it's bad for my mental health.

I'm hiding this all from my family and friends. Only one of my friends knows about this and that's Lorrie cause they where helping me at the time, but then I took complete control of the book when they left the fandom.

I have been hiding the fact that I was in this Fandom and that I'm on Wattpad for over a YEAR! not a few months, a year. A fucking year.

and I'm sick of it! My mom keeps saying that she wants me to be able to come to her about stuff but I can't come to her about this cause I know that my whole family would hate me for years about it because of all this!

And it's not just worry of when they find out and what they'll do, it's guilt too! My mom has tried to be there for me and help me with everything I'm going through and I just keep on piling more stuff into me and it's fucking torture!

I sick of this bull shit! Hell, my parents don't even want me cussing while I live with them and when words slip out sometimes they think I'm cussing out loud to my friends and they blame them! But it's this damn Fandom that got me into it in the first place and my parents not knowing is driving me fucking crazy!
Yes, I am aware that I'm cussing, but this might be one of the last times.

And it's not just that- the amount of shit that house on in hazbin hotel is getting to my head! Everything is! And I'm not saying I was inocent before this- cause I definitely was Not! But it's effecting my brain and I can't fucking deal with it!

Viv made a beautiful Fandom, and I love it, but I don't think I should have gotten as deep into it as my friends.

And there's more!

3 of my friends had gotten me into the fandom, and they dragged me into this shit hole too! And with all of the shit that was going on back then, Hazbin Hotel became a way for me to cope with that shit. But it wasn't just the Fandom, it was the people. I loved how people showed so much emotion and entertainment from this show- and with just one episode!

But that the problem, it's just one fucking episode! That why people are leaving so fast- that's why I started to feel more and more pain the more that people left, they all left cause there wasn't anything going on this the actual canon world. So just as my friends had dragged me into it- they fucking left just as fast!

And when Lorrie Left... I felt alone...

Then on this app I saw so many other people leave.

And because they left me alone after I had gotten to much passion from them-with them! I felt waves of nostalgia and pain!

Im not sure why I got so attached, I know is shouldn't have. Any time I ever do that it only brings me pain.

But this Fandom was the worse of all that shit!

I know that this all seems like little stuff, but it only takes one small card to shift ever so slightly to make the whole tower collapse. And in this case, it was more than that one fucking card!Cause there are way more reasons that the ones I have told you today but I can't seem to make myself make those things public.

I hope you can forgive me for giving up something I said I would comit to, I don't know if I will return but I will try when I seem to be able.

Goodbye, my dear souls.