Camping (Lashton)

Chapter 14

Luke's P.O.V

...

Ashton and I sat on my bunk, alone while Michael and Calum were out doing whatever they usually do without us around. 

"Why didn't you ever tell me about your parents?" I mumbled softly as I ran my hands through his hair as his back was laying against my chest, him between my legs. 

I felt him tense up about the topic once again. I waited for him to speak. A couple of minutes later, he did.

"I-I didn't know at the time," he whispered, "I didn't know and when they told me, it killed me. I mean, 17 years of them seeming happy and fine then out of the blue, not fine. There were many complications in their marriage, of course. Every marriage has their own complications. But I didn't know their's were so bad. That's why I didn't answer your calls, or Michael or Calum's. I was just so sad.

"I couldn't eat, sleep, breath. And once my dad officially left, I felt like that was it for my mom. She got drunk every night, stopped eating, became violent. I was so scared because she had turned into this whole different woman. She changed, Luke. I didn't know who I was living with at the moment. I didn't know my mother anymore. So, I had to get away." There was a silence.

"She told me you didn't love me," he whispered. I rubbed his cheeks with my thumbs, up and down softly. I felt his wet tears crash onto my thumbs, my skin soaking them up instead of rolling down his cheeks and off his chin. 

"She started saying how I wasn't worth your time. How-how we would never be able to make it because I would ruin it. I would fuck up the whole relationship because I'm me. That whatever went down at camp, it was a lie. She said these things every single night and that's why I never called back. I started believing them once they left her lips and I'm so sorry I didn't warn you, I just had to get away and clear my mind." 

"I love you, Ashton." That's the only thing I could think of to say to the beautiful angel below me. My hands found their way into his hair again, my fingers tangling into his beautiful curls, tugging and pulling out the knots and kissing his fingers and trying to show him I will be here for him. I will always love him. 

"So many demands," I whispered as he drifted off to sleep, his cries lulling him into a deep slumber.

"And I am going to fufill every single damn one."

...

Sex. Sex. Sex. 

We humans seem to can't get enough of it. It's like our life's depend on it. Our life's depend on beauty and tragedy and perfectness and love. 

I found it. 

But I'm different from all the zombie roaming people. I accept Ashton for his flaws when people can't accept shit. 

They can only accept what they want. They can't accept what they get. 

They could have the world and not be satisfied. Not satisfied enough. They want the entire universe. And sometimes that's not even enough.

So, they die off. 

So, you're probably wondering why and how this goes from sex to dying? I don't even know myself. I'm alone with my thoughts right now and this is what you get. 

The guys, including Ashton, are off doing god knows what while I chose to stay and think.

I don't think I made such a good choice. I gripped at my hair, bored out of my mind. 

"This is bullshit," I mumbled and got up, grabbing my jacket and walking out of the cabin, off to find the boys. 

My eyes roamed the place, taking in the scenery. Trees, trees, trees, cabins, lake, more trees. My eyes landed near a bonfire and I saw the three guys sitting around the fire. I rolled my eyes. They are always near the bonfire. 

I walked up to them and plopped into Ashton's lap, taking his smore and taking a bite, then gave it back to him. 

"Well, hello," Ashton giggled and placed a kiss into my cheek.

"Get a room," Michael spoke. I flipped him off.

He flipped me off right back. I smiled and played with Ashton's fingers.

"Babe, I can't eat," Ashton said.

"You can't hold the shit in your hand and eat it?" I asked as I stared at him. He shook his head.

"I can," he pouted. 

"Then do it," I challenged. I turned back around and gave Calum a small wave and a smile. He returned. 

"I'm bored," Michael whined and rolled around on the floor.

"Oh, great, now you got dirt all over your clothes," Calum said. 

"Well," Michael said and sat up, "guess that means we have to go get in the lake and clean off."

"You mean, "Guess that means I have to go to the lake and clean off," Ashton said with food in his mouth.

"Babe, no talking while food is in your mouth, please, thanks." 

He glared and I kissed his cheek. 

"Nope, you guys are coming."

Somehow, we gave into Michael Gordon Clifford.

Don't ever give into a Michael Clifford.

...

"MICHAEL!" I screamed and trudged out of the lake, hair mopped down onto my forehead, clothes soaking wet and heavy on my body. I shook from the cold. 

"Oops!" he yelled in response.

Calum and Ashton laughed and suddenly, I felt utterly self conscious. My shirt was litteraly wrapped around my stomach, my jeans hugging my legs, like they already do, but I felt so ugly. 

I hope the water droplets covered the tears leaving my eyes and I bit my lip to keep it from trembling because that would give me away. 

"I'm going to go change," I spoke, trying to lower the trembling in my voice. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and walked up the hill, to the cabin and looked back, only to be met with Calum, Ashton and Michael still lauging.

The only thing I could hear was the voice in my head telling me they're still laughing about me and think I'm fat and ugly. 

I covered my ears and sobbed, walking into the cabin and changing out of my clothes, putting on comfortable ones and climbing into my bunk. I pulled the covers over my head and shook. 

Maybe I should stop eating.

Maybe I'm getting too fat. 

If I get too fat, then Ashton will notice and leave me. My chest felt like it was caving in and I couldn't breathe. My throat was closing up and I felt sick.

"Breathe," I whispered to myself.

Fufill this, Luke.

Breathe.