Camping (Lashton)

Chapter 17

Ashton's P.O.V

...

I sat in Luke's desk chair, staring at my beautiful angel as he played on his phone. I couldn't understand how he could think he was ugly or fat or unbeautiful. He was so lovely in my eyes. So exciting. 

I loved the color of his skin and his ocean blue eyes and the way they sparkled. I loved his voice and the way his lips moved and their plump, pink color. I love his smile and his white, straight teeth. I love his blonde, 5 foot high quiff. I love his black piercing on his lip. I loved the clothes he wore and how his skinny jeans hugged him in just the right places. I love his music taste and the way he sings. I love the way he bites his lip and moans and the way his Adam's apple will bob when he talks, giggles, laughs or gulps. He is mine and I am so proud to say that.

"You're such a beautiful creature," I smiled at him. He looked up with wide eyes and he smiled, eyes shining. 

"Time to eat." The light was gone. I got up from the chair and walked over to his side of the bed, grabbing his legs and pulling him around my waist. He squealed and immediatlely wrapped his arms around my neck, burrowing his face in the crook of my neck.

As I walked down the steps, he placed small butterfly kisses along my neck. 

"You're pretty," he whispered against my skin. I giggled.

"Not as much as you, love," I whispered into his hair.

I felt him smile against my neck and that made me smile.

...

Luke's P.O.V

...

We sat at my kitchen table and there was a bowl of cut up strawberries placed inside in front of me. Ashton had a bowl of cereal. 

"Baby, please just try and eat one," Ashton pleaded. 

I shook.

"I don't want to be sick. I don't want to puke it up, Ash. Please don't make me do this," I pleaded back. Sympathy crossed his features and inside his eyes.

"Love, do this for me." He reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. 

A choked up sob left my lips and I squeezed my eyes shut, tears falling out. I pulled my hand back, curling it in my lap. Ashton frowned and also pulled his hand back, placing his fingers around the spoon that lay in his bowl.

I was overreacting, but I didn't care in that moment, no. I was so scared that I wouldn't get better and I knew in order to get better that I would have to eat these god damn strawberries. It wasn't the fact that I had to eat, it was the fact that I knew that I was going to get sick afterwards. 

I am so stupid because now I can't even keep down a simple fruit. 

My hands shook and I kept sobbing and crying and shedding tears that werent meant to be seen. I craved the metal that carressed my pale skin oh, so deep to where it drew blood that was meant to be seen only by me. 

I stood up adruptly and ran up to my room, Ashton shouting and running after me. I slammed my door shut and locked it, backing up then running into my bathroom, locking that door also. I fell to my knees and pulled the cabinet doors open, digging through all the junk down in there to get to my not-so-well hidden blades.

*Trigger Warning*

I pushed myself back and up against the wall, breath hitching and shuddering. I could barely breathe anymore.

I dug the blade into my skin, etching lines and hidden words. I didn't stop on my left arm until it was completely covered in blood from my elbow to the end of my wrist. I kicked off my pants and continued to slice my skin open on my left thigh and calf. 

I did this on my right arms, right thigh and calf, chest, and stomach.

"Whoever the fuck is up there," I whispered into the air, "take me."

I blacked out.