Camping (Lashton)

Chapter 15

Luke's P.O.V

...

The guys are distancing themselves from me and I don't think my heart could bare another piece breaking off before it officially crumples to pieces with nothing left. My hair is tossled from the constant running of my fingers sliding through the tuffs. My cheeks are sticky from the constant tears running down my face and off my chin. My eyes are red and puffy from the constant tears leaving the blue and white. My bottom lip is bleeding profousley from the constant biting of the skin from my top front teeth. My heart is breaking from the constant advoidment of my friends and boyfriend. It seems they are having more fun without me; and I'm guessing that's all they need. 

It's confusing for me because I don't mind, but I do. 

If they are happy without me, then I'm happy because they're happy.

But that also kills me because that means they don't want me around. 

They were always off doing their own things or hanging out and never once bothered to come check on me. I guess that's a sign that they don't need me anymore. 

My things were packed and I checked to make sure I didn't leave anything because I surely was not coming back to this place. Not this summer, not the next, not ever again.

I walked up to the waiting area where I would wait for my mom to come pick me up. I had went to Mr. Hood earlier and called my mother, pleading and begging her to come get me. I had to make up an excuse for her and for Mr. Hood.

I guess saying that I haven't been feeling too well the past couple of days is believable. Although, it was kinda the truth.

When she pulled up in the black Caddilac, I turned and looked around until my eyes met the boys. They all looked like they were having fun, setting up the bonfire before the sky turns pitch black with gleaming yellow stars. 

Then, their eyes met mine and their faces fell and sadness and confusion filled their eyes.

I cursed myself for looking into their eyes. 

Ashton started running towards me and I quickly shoved my suitcase into the back seat, hopping into the care and yelling at my mom to fucking go.

Ashton was crying and yelling to stop and that's when my heart broke fully.

I left.

...

One month until summer's over. One month since I've spoken or seen Michael and Calum. One month since I've spoken or seen Ashton.

One month full of blades and scars and blood and hate and regret.

I didn't go back because no one tried calling and when I called and asked for Ashton, they always told me he couldn't talk or didn't want to.

After that I would go to my bathroom, cry, try to commit or just simply harm myself. 

I'm a mess and I caused it this time. I refused to talk to my mother or eat and I can't sleep. 

I barely do anything excpet walk around my room like I'm a zombie. 

I always felt sick to my stomach; and I could feel my ribs pushing against my skin and I knew then I had gone too far. 

I had gone too far.