You Need Me

Chapter 34

"I... I'm sorry. I don't mean to..." Viola quickly looked down and laughed nervously, trying to hide her embarrassment. Her other hand was clutching on the hand rejected by Leon. She did not dare to look at him in the eyes.

It was only for a few seconds but Leon could see pain and misery reflected in Viola's green eyes. Her head hanging down like an abandoned animal. "I..." His hand reaching for her.

Viola stepped back and turned her back to Leon. "I... I'll go to my room now. Don't stay up too late." She walked briskly toward the entrance.

Leon grabbed her arm from behind. He could now see tears rolling down on her face. "Why..."

Viola quickly wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I... I don't know. They just..." She could not continue her words. Her chest was so tight that it was difficult to breathe. She did not know what made her feel this way. She never knew Leon's cold treatment could hurt her this much. She avoided him like a plague in the beginning. And now... when did it start to change? She was now actually craving for Leon's attention! Viola felt ashamed for her greedy thoughts, ashamed for causing trouble, ashamed for being there.

Leon let go of her arms and stood silently. His eyes avoided Viola.

"Things will get busy from now and I won't be able to come home as often." Leon said without emotions. "You can use this room as you like. Sleep early. Nadia..."

"Don't..." Viola interrupted. She realized now how much she had disappointed Leon. "You have done enough..." She took Leon's hands into hers and held them tightly. "I'll leave this house."

For a moment Leon stared at Viola in disbelief.

"What are you..."

Viola shook her head. "This is your home." Viola paused. "You don't have to restrain yourself because of me."

"This family has saved my life many times. I won't blame you even if you let me die back then." Her voice became quieter. She gave a hollow laugh.

"Do you even know what you are saying?" Leon asked with a grave expression. His dark brown eyes grew darker.

Viola gazed downward. "That's why I said it's better for me to leave..."

"I'm not talking about that!" Leon raised his voice.

Viola was startled.

Met by Leon's angry stare, Viola was lost at words. Her memory of that cold night with Nora screaming in her face came back to her. She then remembered how Leon had pushed her hand a while ago. Viola squeezed her dress. "I... I'll leave now." Her body was trembling, not because she was cold.

Leon grabbed her shoulders. "You are not going anywhere!"

Viola could not escape. Before she could speak, Leon leaned to her closer.

"Do you actually know what you have done that day? You were trying to kill yourself! Are you out of your mind?"

Viola was stunned. How did he...

Leon was looking straight at her. Viola could see herself reflected in Leon's eyes. The painful shock and anger that he had been trying to suppress for the past weeks went off.

"I heard all your conversations with that woman! You knew I was coming!" Leon's hands were still on her shoulders. His grip tightened.

Viola clenched her teeth. She did not expect Leon to know she tried to commit suicide that day.

"Why did you do that!" Leon shouted.

"I... I was scared!!" Viola shouted back.

She felt her legs getting weaker. Her body slid down to the floor. "I was scared... Nora would hurt you. I couldn't let her do that... I panicked... I didn't know what to do..." Tears were beginning to blur her vision. "It was a problem between me and Walter... you shouldn't have been involved in this mess..."

Leon lowered himself to the floor. "I am your husband. It is my duty..."

Viola shook her head. "But I can't. I don't want to. Ever since we got married, I've never done anything for you... Its' always you... doing things for me..."

Tears started rolling down on her cheek. "If something were to happen to you again... I don't think I will be able to forgive myself."

Leon looked at Viola who was now crying with her head down.

"And you think I will thank you if you die for me? Do you really think I will be happy to know that?"

Viola lifted her head and looked at Leon. "I... just..."

Leon's hand gently touched her face. His fingers wiping her tears. "Don't do that again."

Viola could not contain her feeling. She buried her face into Leon's chest and cried. "I'm sorry, Leon. I'm really sorry." Leon sighed and closed his eyes. He gave up and hugged her tightly.