Adiza - The Heart Is A Mess (slow UPDATES, EDITING.)

Where Only Thoughts Have Been

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There's a certain type of strangeness that aditi is feeling these last few days. Reason? She doesn't really know. She just knows that it happens whenever something in particular happens on the set. Whenever Nalini is around Zain on the set. Sometimes even Poonam. She is so happy with the fact that at least now sana has finally finished shooting as her track had ended. There is strange feeling in her heart.
Nothing feels good or looks good. She she got this sour taste in her mouth and sometimes she feels as if her head has been stuck in her throat. She feels suffocated. That usually happens when one of them who's his hand or has any physical interaction or contact with him. Even though she knows it's mostly harmless and unintentional.
A torch on the arms. Draping hands on the shoulder or just plain smiling at each other while talking and laughing too together.
She doesn't really know what is happening with her. She just knows that she a hates those feelings.

Another week has passed with the same pattern everyday. At first Aditi tried to avoid Zain whenever they don't have a scene to shoot together which isn't much as of right at the moment, the track going on is of she being in Rang Mahal having gotten herself kidnapped.
That helped her a lot as she doesn't have much scenes to shoot with him so she tried to avoid him. It also helped that he never sought her out. It's like there has never been anything between them apart from them being co stars. But, as much as she tries to avoid him and not noticed him she just can't seem to do so.
She finds herself always looking at or for him trying to see what he is doing or who he is with. She doesn't even know why she does it because it only gives her pain, to see him sitting laughing, and smiling with others, especially the female co-stars. Despite the fact that she knows Poonam is in a committed relationship and he has been friends with Nalini for a very long time. She still hates the feeling she gets whenever that happens.
Today Aditi has decided that she has had enough. He has to do something. She isn't really sure what, she just knows that she has to talk with them. Without really thinking of what she is doing, she picked up her phone and sent him a message. It was very short and Direct.
Aditi - do you want to rehearse a scene we have together now?
After sending the message aditi waited anxiously for his reply. Some part of her told her that he will refuse, but just before she continues contemplating about it, a message was received in her phone. It was also very short and direct.
Zain - Sure. You can come now if you're free.

As Aditi had fully expected Zain to decline or ignore her message, she didn't really know what to feel at that moment. Some parts of her excited at the prospect of being alone with him in an enclosed space after a long time, while the rest of her was scared for the same reason.
She missed him. She needs him and she wants to talk to him.
How he will respond to her she doesn't know, but she has some hopes in her heart, since he himself has responded to her she is going to take it as a good sign.

............

The anger and frustration building in Aditi is something she has never experienced in her life. She is just very sure a part of her feels completely broken.
She was very excited when she left her makeup room to come Zains. Her mind was racing with so many things she wants to say to him. She even added a touch of makeup on her face. She wanted to look pretty for him. A little touch of mascara, a little bit of lip liner. She even rearranged her hair before she left to his room.
She was happy, scared and excited all together. There was so much going on in her mind that she didn't even realise when she reached his makeup room. She knocked on the door and waited for him to call her in. It didn't take long when she heard his voice from the room.
Zain- come in.
She opened the door and entered with a nervous smile on her face and she immediately felt better seeing him alone with an answering smile on his face too.
Zain- hey Adit, come in. Have a sit and then we can start.
He just Road towards one of the chairs in the rooms for her. She so wanted to join him and sit beside him on the bed but she decided it will be better to sit on the chair. Space is good, she told herself in her mind.
Aditi- Zain...
She uttered nervously as soon as she sat on the chair, seeing him picking up his script.
Zain- Yea, Aditi?
He looked at her with a confused gaze.
Aditi- actually I wanted to talk to you about something important before we start reading the lines if you don't mind please.
Zain- hmm? What is it Aditi? Is something a problem?
Aditi - no actually, I just have something to say and discuss with you. Pleased, can you give me a moment?
He looked as if he was contemplating, before he said to her.
Zain- okay, go on. I am listening. What is it Aditi?
He said why you keeping his clips on the bed beside him.
Aditi- Actually.....
She started while twisting her fingers but whatever she was going to say was cut short as the door to the room was pushed open just after a short walk. In came to Jahaan, Poonam, Nalini, Gautam, Gulfam, Sushant and Sayantani into the room.
She was confused at first seeing their sudden appearance but quickly her confusion got cleared when Sayantani said- Nice Adu, you are here. I just checked your room for you but didn't see you there. I want to tell you that Zain called us all to his green room to rehearse our scene and eat Gulfams special biryani. Today we will be having so much fun, since we have a lot of time before shooting starts. I can't wait for gulfam to serve us her tasty biryani.
She seemed so excited saying that to Aditi that Aditi couldn't help but smile back at her despite the fact that she wanted to do nothing but cry at that missed opportunity to talk with Zain.
She quickly realised the fact that Zain called them all to his room, just so that he doesn't stay alone in his green room with her. Am I that bad? she asked herself while discreetly wiping a tear that escaped her eye.