Adiza - The Heart Is A Mess (slow UPDATES, EDITING.)

6 - Emotions

WARNING: not PROOFREAD

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There is a saying which says "you can lie to everyone and everything around you but you can never lie to yourself" so Aditi it is just going to come out and admit it, at least if only to her self that she missed him.

She 100% admits to herself that she misses one Stupid Stubborn MR Zain Imam greatly.

She miss talking to him, eating with him, reading lines with him and all those things that they use to do together before all this kissing mess started she just misses him.

But above all of that, she missed kissing him.

It has been two whole days since she has last spoken and kissed Zain. He has been ignoring her royally and it is all making her feeling feel miserable because in all the time they have known each other, there has never ever been a time where Zain  ignored her. Yeah there will be a times that he will be annoyed with her and not talk to her but that usually lasts from 5 to 10 minutes because of his mood swings,  so getting this kind of treatment from him for two whole days, more than 48 hours is just something she cant digest it is driving her mad.

In the space of these two days that Zain has been ignoring her, there were moments where she greatly regretted having kissed him that day because that was what all started everything.
She feels that had she not kissed him the first time, then they wouldn't have been the second time or the third time and then, Zain would not have wanted to know why she just wants to kiss him but not anything else with him and she would not  have escaped from him and if all those didn't happen then today, Zain would still have been her friend and he wouldn't be ignoring her.

If at some moment she regretted about kissing him, there were also moments where she just question herself as to why can't she just accept his proposal and be in a relationship with him. As soon as you start thinking about that, she just stops herself because she knows that that is something that can't be possible.

She likes Zain, she likes him very very much. She likes him as a friend, as a co-star, as somebody who is important in her life but she can't see herself getting into a relationship with him not because of anything because of the bad experience she had in her last relationship.
And if she would be true to herself, she is also hesitant because of the  girls throw themselves at him.

She has just got out form a relationship where she had been ridiculed time and again by her ex and also where he had humiliated her by his over friendly behaviors with the girls around him and how he was always eager to be together with any girl that is not her.

She has gone through that and she is not going to go through that again but above all, she is not really ready for any relationship right now.

As much as she likes kissing Zain, she also cherishes  the friendship they had. She misses her friend and she wants to talk with him. She miss him and she will be damned to allow something as minor as a kiss take away one of the best friends she has ever had.

........

Zain is feeling miserable and to be honest, he feels he is the main reason of his miseries but there is much to do about it.

He miss Aditi. He is missing her so much that he is finding it hard to breath but there is so much he can do to help himself in the situation.

In all the women in the world,  Zain can believe his luck for falling for the most stubborn and most complicated one of them. Why can't she just let them talk and solve whatever it is but no, she just has to keep avoiding him

It was simple in Zain's book, she likes him that is why she kisses him. You can't just go around kissing people you don't like anyhow, you have to like someone even if it's a little bit to be able to share that intimacy willing without any obligation with someone.

Why can't she just admit it and why is she so stubborn? Zain thought to himself but he can't get the answer to those questions.

She has been calling him  and he has been ignoring her calls. The last time she called, He almost had to restrain himself from picking up the phone.

He misses her so much and it not just the kissing, he misses everything about her which is making him miserable but he can't talk to her. He can't just let her do whatever she wants.

He is a self respecting person. He respects himself and as a person with self respect, he refuses to take less than he deserves without a very valid reason.

H loves her and he wants to be with her but......

His thoughts got broken with the sound of his doorbell. Feeling extremely cranky, he got up from his bed to see whoever it is.

He is not in the mood to entertain people right now. He definitely isn't.

........

Not happy with this but I will cut myself some slack.
My grandfather just died some few hours ago, after losing a battle with cancer.
Everyone has a different way to reacting to pains and losses and mine is distraction. I just need some distraction before I lose my mind.

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