anti-romantic ; hajeongwoo

fourteen: too overwhelming

"Ruto-ah~?" Jeongwoo entered Haruto and Asahi's unit, carrying a bag of sweet and spicy chicken made by Jaehyuk. "I brought you some food from our dormitory~!" Jeongwoo looked around the unit and realized  Haruto wasn't around so he decided to text the elder.

Jeongwoo then placed the bag of sweet and spicy chicken to their dining table and knocked on Asahi's room door. "Uh, Asahi-nim...?"

Asahi opened the door and found Jeongwoo standing shyly in front of him. "Haruto isn't home, come later—"

"I know, I know!" Jeongwoo smiled, holding the doorknob to prevent the elder from closing it. "Actually, he told me we should eat the sweet and spicy chicken I brought since he's out with his friends... You don't want to waste what my Hyung made, right?"

Asahi raised an eyebrow but he went to the dining table anyway and unpacked the containers of the food Jeongwoo brought. "I don't just eat anything..." He says as he sat on the chair across Jeongwoo while holding his chopsticks tightly.

"Jaehyuk Hyung made it especially for you since he knows I was coming here. He finds you interesting..." Jeongwoo remarked as he fixed the table for his plate and chopsticks.

"Oh, he's the guy who messaged me while I was busy taking care of Haruto." Asahi smiled as he munched on the food. "Fair enough, I find him kinda interesting too. We should be friends soon."

"He'd like that!" Jeongwoo smile and sat on a chair as he wandered around the unit's surroundings. It was pretty clean and aesthetic, just like Haruto. He hates himself for falling in love with someone he doesn't know fully.

When should Jeongwoo ask Haruto's favorite color? Favorite thing to do? Favorite ice cream flavor? Jeongwoo doesn't know a lot of things but he still fell.

Asahi then breaks the silence, shaking his head. "Haruto made another excuse to convince you he's okay."

Jeongwoo faced Asahi as he raised his eyebrow. "He said he was hanging out with his friends."

"Haruto? Friends? The only friends he has are you and I." Asahi paused, drinking a glass of water to ease the spiciness of the dish. "Aren't you sorry for him?"

"W-what do you mean...?" Jeongwoo muttered softly, confused of what Asahi is talking about.

Asahi looked at the ceiling, avoiding Jeongwoo's gaze. "I know you're hurt because he rejected you, but he did that for a reason and it's because he doesn't want to be a problem for you."

Jeongwoo hung his head low, staring at the floor. "I'm the one who doesn't want to be a problem for him. He told me that his life is as messy and being another problem for him is something I'd feel guilty for." He added, just like what Junkyu said to Haruto.

"The thing is, he's hurting already." Asahi remarked as if Jeongwoo has done something wrong to Haruto's life.

Jeongwoo tilted his head, trying to find reasons of what he had caused badly to Haruto's life. What did he do to Haruto's life? He only confessed and got rejected and that's pretty much it. In fact, Jeongwoo thinks he's actually helping Haruto's financial problems through this fake dating. "If it's because of my fans, I can handle it—"

"He's runnung some tests in the hospital right now." Asahi paused, hesitating to continue. "...Haruto has severe asthma."

Now, the nebulizer, inhaler, medicines inside Haruto's room, and even the habit to sleep a lot finally makes sense.

Jeongwoo stayed silent since he can't find the proper words to say.

"Haruto is a bright and outgoing person that makes any day filled with joy but he's weak." Asahi mentioned. Jeongwoo can hear the pain in his voice.

"I didn't know many things about him." Jeongwoo mumbled, placing his chopsticks gently on the table.

"His parents abandoned him at such a young age after hearing his condition. My mom and I found him crying by our house so we took him in. He's like my brother and seeing him in pain hurts me so much." Asahi paused, "He struggles to breathe properly and wake up everyday. Maybe you wouldn't meet him by now."

Jeongwoo gasped at what the elder said. Haruto rejected him but he still loves him so hearing Haruto suffer through this pain is making him feel the pain too.

"Do you know the reason? Because he was too happy. You were the first person who noticed him after trolling different fandoms. I don't want to make you loose all your feelings but I just want to let you know in case you want to live a life with him." Asahi stated, looking straight into Jeongwoo's eyes with agony. "Do you also know the reason why he can't answer your messages every night? It's because he was too happy and excited to meet you, to have a friend like you that he can't handle it anymore. It's attacking him, Jeongwoo."

The two stayed silent for a while until Asahi decided to talk again.

"He is emotionally weak and you're making things too overwhelming for him." Asahi remarked as he finished the sweet and spicy chicken from his plate.

Jeongwoo wore a gloomy expression, processing the things Asahi just told him. "But he was just fine a few days ago. He didn't even show me signs that he was weak."

Asahi hung his head low. "That's what I don't like about Haruto. He pretends he's okay when he isn't, smiles through the pain, just so you wouldn't get affected. Consider yourself lucky that you still met him. He almost passed away when he was in Tokyo so basically this is his second chance of living."

Jeongwoo couldn't help but let the tears flow from his eyes. "I hate myself for not knowing a lot of things about him. I hate myself for not noticing what he feels..."

"But you made him happy. I locked him at home for several months just so he wouldn't suffer outside or get bullied for what he has." Asahi smiled as he stroked Jeongwoo's back softly. "You made his world colorful..."

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Uhh yeah, this is the main problem of the au so say goodbye to boring chapters and say hello to angsty ones <3