Painting this canvas with the colors of our love

everything black

TW: guns, violence

"Wake up" a harsh voice made us wake up even though it felt like we had been sleeping only for ten minutes and that probably was the time we had actually slept because Sarah couldn't stop crying, i didn't know what to do to help her so i let her until she fell asleep and I followed shortly.
"wake up and get dressed" he said as we we're starting to get out of bed "one at a time".
I let Sarah go first so that maybe i could've had a chance to talk to him.
"what is going to happen after the trial?" i asked even though the current situation of him sitting in the armchair with the gun still pointed at me did not give me any semblance of hope.
"well it depends on how it goes..."
"ah... and please do tell... how does this exactly have to go?"
"you give me back what's mine and i'll consider which one of you goes first so she doesn't have to see the other die" he said.
"so we're screwed either way..."
"look i don't care what happens to you, i just want my daughter"
"yeah mister man i got that much figured out already thank you"
"careful"
"ah you see... i know you're not going to kill me now, you still need me to get what you want" i said, i saw his hesitation, he wanted to do it so much his finger trembled on the trigger.
"after that trial you're time is up"
"okay, but until then why don't we get to know each other a little more... i'll start, why are you doing all this"
"i already told you"
"yes but wouldn't it have been convenient to wait and see who would've actually won the case? i mean there was a fairly good possibility you wouldn't have to do anything after all"
"no there wasn't, you were going to win and i can't afford that"
"let me get this straight, you think we're going to win but you still haven't killed any of us so you clearly need us alive... but if we're going to win how are you going to make sure we leave Vanessa to you after that?" i asked.
"i knew you were clever, you understand things, but sometimes a little bit too late don't you?" he said lowering the gun a little positioning it under my chin to get closer to my face but it was disgusting because he was all sweaty and smelled awful.
"well a little bit of help from the mastermind wouldn't hurt i have to admit" i said keeping still.
Sarah got out the bathroom just in time to see me and him like that.
"get away from her!" she said.
"it's okay, i'm okay, we were just having a little chat" i said. As he stupidly had confirmed he needed us alive i started acting like he wasn't holding a gun and did everything normally, i kissed Sarah earning a disgusted groan from him and headed to the bathroom.
By the time we were all dressed we just had to head out so our only hope was someone seeing us in that time lapse. I saw on sarah's wrist watch that it was unreasonably early though so that meant it was probably the end of the night shift for Jerry and that was when there was a gap of around ten minutes between his departure and the arrival of the other man for the day shift.
As i was expecting, none was in the hall but he did hide his gun under his jacket once we were close to the entrance, I didn't get why straightaway and then i realized it must've been paparazzi that made him so precautious.
"you know, if i can offer one piece of advice that would be that either one of our cars would be far too recognizable... someone could follow us... figure out what is happening..."
"why would anyone follow your car, you're only a doctor"
"hello? because they might think we could be together in my car?" i said, Sarah was squeezing my arm repeatedly telling me she wanted me to stop.
"you are trying to trick me but i won't fall for it, we'll take your car"
"well... i tried to warn you... do you know how to drive with manual gear?" i said and he seemed to be surprised by the question "yeah, just what i was thinking.. so Sarah's car or I drive" i smiled halfway.
He looked at her flaming new Mercedes, it was immaculate because she rarely drove and even he knew how dangerous it was to get out of there in that car until he finally said it "you drive" he said "one brave thing and i'll shoot you in the head"
"fine..." i said.
"what are you doing?!" sarah whisper-yelled as he was distracted searching the car.
"well, i have an idea"
"call me crazy but i don't like it"
"pity, because i don't have anything else" i whispered and got in the driver seat as he indicated for me to do so pointing at the seat and sarah got in the passenger seat beside me. He got his gun out again and pointed it at me, again.
I faked adjusting the seat's distance to control if i got my pager under my seat. Not that i kept it there normally but B being her paranoid self had me keep an old pager in the car. We had established we wouldn't use it unless it was a real emergency so the other knew it was serious and needed to show up as fast as she could... but we had in fact never used it yet so i really really hoped it would work and most of all that she remembered and came to the courthouse.
I pressed the button on the pager more than once before pulling the seat a little bit closer to the stirring wheel.
It didn't seem to have bothered him I had to adjust my seat so I did and started the car.
I drove carefully but quite fast, since it was really early so the streets were empty it didn't take much to get to the courthouse.
I followed his instructionst and parked the car exactly in the spot he told me in the almost empty garage, I couldn't stop thinking if that actually meant something or he was just a control freak.
I turned the car engine off and put my hands on my thighs where he could see them.
"okay mr man what do we do now?" i asked.
"put these on" he said handing us both something with what looked like wires. I realized it was a microphone and a webcam... each.
This was going to complicate matters immensely because if he could see and hear us... how was i going to tell anyone what was happening?
"yeah i'd put this on but it won't pass the metal detectors" I said.
"so do you think i'm stupid? do you think i wanna get caught?" he yelled inches from my face the tip of the gun under my chin made me not want to discuss that.
"no, of course not, it was just... an advice"
"i don't need your damn advice" he hissed between his teeth.
"okay, okay..."
I stuck the wires on sarah's abs and chest with tape so that it wouldn't move and she did the same to me.
"what is that scar?" he asked me watching my abs.
"well... you'll have to be more specific" i said.
"all of them" he grunted.
"kidney transplant" i said pointing with my finger "your lovely wife who stabbed me" I could read clear surprise on his face so he didn't know... They were not together, each was handling the situation their own way.
"if you shoot me perhaps i'd have another"
"if i shot you... you wouldn't stay alive to see a scar" he said. Fair point, the one time he actually scared me.
"so you and your wife... you're not together anymore?"
"Sylvia... stop!" Sarah said and sounded like she had been keeping it for quite a while since how loud and shaky her voice sounded.
"what, he gets to ask about my scars and i don't get to ask anything?"
"yes, exactly, now shut it" she sighed.
"but why?"
"maybe because i'm the one with the gun?" he asked.
"okay you got a gun, big deal, if you kill either one of us now you surely won't get what you want... so i know you won't kill me for now" i said.
"we haven't been together since a little while after we left Vanessa"
"aah i'm so sorry, i'm sure yours was a fully functional, absolutely issues free relationship" i said.
"everyone has issues" he mumbled defensively.
"oh yeah" i chuckled "believe me, everyone" i said and the situation was quite hilarious to me but i thought if i so much showed the smallest smile sarah would've killed me before mr man.
"do you have issues?"
"i'm in a car with a man who i don't know that's pointing a freaking gun at me, do you think i have issues?" i asked rhetorically.
"i meant as a couple"
"look at you, invested in your prisoners' love life... yes, of course we do, we have and have had a lot" i said.
"see that's what i told her, everyone has problems... relationships have ups and downs... but she wouldn't believe me, told me i never knew when to stop"
I had no idea what that meant but i needed to come up with something to keep him talking.
"perhaps if they want to go even when you don't want them to go you should let them... you know the saying... if you love them set them free" i said keeping it general.
"that's bullshit she can't be alone, she can't even get back her own child without me" he said.
"is this what you're trying to do? prove her she's not capable of being alone? this, of all reasons, is the reason why you want Vanessa?" i asked clearly irritated by his reason because i was starting to think that if they wanted her back so badly maybe i could've come to terms with them winning over us.
"no, i want her because she's my daughter, not yours"
"you lost every right over her the day your coward ass left her alone in a goddamn hospital to face a tremendous disease all alone!" I snapped.
"tone it down" he said.
"what kind of parent does that... she had become just another problem to you and you got rid of her and never looked back until today, why today? she's been out the hospital for months, almost a year and now you want her back, like she's some... object that you can dispose of however you like" i said lower "she's not, she's a kid... she needs to be loved, protected, she needs to feel loved and happy and carefree... she's an amazing little girl-" i said before he interrupted me.
"because of us... because of how we raised her, that's why she needs to be with her parents"
"no, she's amazing despite you..." i said.
"then again i had been told you were fearless but you really don't know when to stop" he said.
"by who... if i may?"
"you see i had never thought of doing this... this is actually someone else's thinking... i never wanted to kidnap anyone and even if technically i have the worst chances of getting back Vanessa on my
own with you i have the best chances, you're the favored party in this whole thing whatever second thought they may have on you being gay... for those people, being a drug addict, former drug dealer without a stable job and sentimental life is worse"
"you still haven't answered the question but i have another: what makes you think we will really leave her with you?"
"you must have noticed..." he said scrutinizing my face "no?"
"you will not hurt her..." i said even though my hope was really hardly surviving since he seemed capable of a lot of things.
"who my own child?" he said "of course not" he said "but her on the other hand..." he said framing sarah's face with his hand.
"no... this makes no sense... it can't be the plan..." i said, i was sure i had got it right in my head, I was sure i was close to figuring it all out but this made no sense.
"what do you mean it can't be the plan?" he asked suspiciously.
"this is not right... what are you going to do? you can't hurt her... hurt me instead"
He laughed like he was really having the time
of his life, so that could either be a no or a yes to my request I just didn't know which one it was.
"but that's exactly what i'm going to do... what better way to hurt her than to send you straight to hell?"
"no!" Sarah cried.
"now that's a lot more of his style" i exhaled relieved from the fact my idea wasn't wrong.
"wha-" Sarah was about to ask but i answered quicker.
"it's Michael, it's always been him, I've known since the flowers... I don't how he could contact them and arrange all of this but... it's his doing... Even from prison... oh heavens" I told her.
"wrong again!" he said so satisfied with himself "i found him, not the contrary..."
"did you need help from someone in prison to know what you were doing here?" i said "that's how useless you are?"
"did you hear me saying i will not think twice, if i have to kill you i'll do it" he said.
The fact that I was the target and not Sarah actually took a lot of pressure off me, I wasn't scared to die, i only was scared of the pain.
"Then do it now" i said pressing his gun on my forehead. He wanted to... his finger quivered on the trigger but he knew he couldn't yet.
"No... no... don't do it..." Sarah said jumping on her seat to move me from under his gun.
"you don't have to do it... we can all get what we want if we talk and find some common ground." she said.
"i'm afraid that is impossible... she has to go... that was the only condition" he said.
"whatever he promised you i can assure i can do better... whatever you desire we can talk about it, find a deal" she said.
"no we can't, i already have my deal" he said stoically "now get out of here and go do what you are here for"
We got out of the car but it felt distant and odd like i wasn't even there. My body was numb and i barely felt there was any floor under me.
I realized that was probably the kind of high you get when you know the day you're going to die.
"Well, this didn't go as i was thinking..." i said.
"you think..." she said speeding up.
"Sarah please stop..." I grabbed her wrist so that she would stop.
"no... don't even start, i will not let him kill you... he'll have to kill me too and we know he doesn't want me dead..."
"Sarah... what are you going to do, if he wants to kill me he will..."
"even if that's the last thing i do... he won't" she said and I thought i'd let it go for now and try to figure something out while we were at the trial.
"did you sleep well? how are you holding up?" Eve said once we were inside.
"mmh, next question please" Sarah said.
"look i know this is going to be hard but we can still do it" she said "we can still win, actually i'm telling our chances are good... i didn't want to tell you to not get your hopes too high but you look terrible so i have to give you something to hold on to"
"whatever happens today thank you so much for everything you've done, Eve... I wouldn't have dreamed of finding such a good friend in you when we first met but i want you to know that even if we don't win... I love you" I said, it may have been too much but i just had to do it in case i didn't get the chance later.
"I love you too" she said lightly squeezing my hand.
Once we let go and got to our seats the hearing started quickly and they called in Vanessa to ask her some questions.
I had totally forgot part of this involved her too and while I had kept my eyes down all the time the moment she entered the room i was completely focused on her.
Sarah was squeezing my hand to the point it kind of hurt, she always did that whenever she was about to burst into tears. I squeezed her hand back and caressed the back of her hand with my other hand.
"Hello, Vanessa..." her mother's lawyer said "we'd like to ask you a few questions... don't worry it's not going to take long and you only have to answer with the truth"
"yes, sir" he timidly said.
I hadn't heard her voice in so much time that
sound was actually calming me down.
"Do you remember this woman, Vanessa?" he asked pointing at his client.
"yes, i remember her" Vanessa responded.
"can you tell everyone who she is?" he asked again.
Very hard strategy game... How many ways are there to answer to that?
"She is my mother" she said and I saw her mother smile at her from her seat.
"do you love her?" he asked.
"yes, i do" she looked at us briefly, I knew she was thinking she was hurting us but she wasn't... only a fool would think she didn't love her.
"did someone in this room told you you couldn't love her?"
"no" she stated clearly and quickly after his questions.
"why were you looking at those women?"
"they... they are my moms, I haven't seen them in a long time and I miss them" she said, her voice shaking because she was the most uncomfortable she'd ever been before.
"I love you too baby... I love you too" I whispered to myself forcing myself to look away because we weren't supposed to have contact with her.
"you know they are not your real moms though right?"
Eve interrupted the questioning to make an objection, I was terrible at understanding what anything they all said meant so before they could make me nervous again because i couldn't understand what was going on I just looked at Vanessa. She looked in my direction as well so i forced myself to smile to her to reassure her but it was so hard, I thought it had never been harder and somehow i was so glad we couldn't talk because i wouldn't have known what to say to her... How to say goodbye, actually.
"hey... are you-"
"fine... I'm- I'm fine" i said, of course i wasn't but what else was i supposed to say, or do at that point.
"okay... we're going to fix this... I promise... I made this mess and i'm going to fix it" she said.
"you didn't make any mess, you were just trying to protect me... I understand that, I have done it too... and i would do it again" i said.
We were distracted from our whispered conversation by Eve getting up from her chair which could only mean it was her time to ask Vanessa questions. At least she would've been a little more at ease because Eve was more of a familiar face.
"Hello, Vanessa, are you okay? do you need a break, or anything else before we go on?" she asked her.
"no, i'm good thank you" she said, visibly calmer than i had seen her before.
"she looks better, doesn't she? she's not too scared" i whispered to Sarah.
"she looks like she's okay, she's brave" she said not letting go of my hand.
"i know... she's so brave"
"so... tell me about a typical day with your moms... the life you've been living during this months" Eve asked and that was a risky question but could also be a really good one that could've got us some points to the eyes of the jury.
"my mom is a doctor... so she's been working a lot lately, she does her best for her patients so she hasn't been home much during the day but she always makes time for me, we often paint together or i sing when she plays guitar and she promised she would teach me how to swim when we go to italy to visit my grandparents..." she said looking at me as to remind me i had promised.
That last remark made silent tears streak my cheeks, I had to hold back sobs while i tried to focus on what she was saying.
"even if my mom works a lot i am never alone because me and my mum are always together and i know she's not the happiest, she doesn't like having to stay at home so much, but i know she likes not being alone and she likes to play with me and let me do her make up and i like watching her going over her lines and i always feel so special when she lets me" Vanessa said about Sarah and that didn't help me hold back tears. I looked at Sarah briefly and she had glossy eyes to but with the sweetest smile on her face.
"so could you say you were happy during this time?" Eve asked her again smiling. All that smiling was making me think that we could actually have a chance but even if we won, she wasn't going to stay with us and i wasn't going to stay alive, not this time, i kind of had this feeling that i had been lucky too many times.
A hand on my shoulder made my attention shift from Vanessa to whoever was touching me.
"hi..." B whispered "sorry i couldn't make it sooner but it was a hectic morning... are you okay though? i thought i had heard that pager beep in the car..." she said like she wasn't sure and was even considering she could've imagined it. That was typical of her, whenever she had a bad night at work she was almost completely useless without her sleep.
I looked at her pondering what to do and in case how to tell her.
"yeah, we... we'll talk later okay?" i managed to buy me a little more time to figure out how to tell her without him knowing.
"do you think they were happy with you, too? do you think your moms love you?"
"i think so... they always tell me they love me, they stay in my bed if i have trouble sleeping, they support me in everything i wanna do and my mom always tells me my drawings are better than hers but i know they aren't" Vanessa said making Eve chuckle.
"have you ever felt like you weren't safe in your home?"
"no... since i'm with my moms it's so much better... i feel like sometimes... if i'm not strong enough it's okay because they're there with me" she said.
Listening to her talking about how she felt living with us was so heartwarming because we had never explicitly talked about it. I only got glimpses of her feelings reflecting on her health because the second she had started being happier her recovery started being faster.
"you said it got better, so, before living with them you had felt like you weren't safe"
Something of what she said did not sound right to the counterpart apparently because they interrupted her with an objection.
"I rephrase, have you ever before living with your moms felt like you weren't safe?"
"yes" Vanessa answered timidly.
"okay, can you tell me more? like when this happened?"
"when i was in the hospital i didn't feel safe because I was sick... it was scary because i never knew what was going to happen and i didn't..."
"you didn't what, dear, don't worry you can say anything here" Eve encouraged her.
I so didn't want her to have to do that, I couldn't watch her struggle to talk about that situation and not do anything about it.
"I didn't have anyone... all the other kids had someone, like their mum and dad or their grandparents... I didn't have that and I didn't know why I was just alone..."
"it's okay... it's okay... we're done, you've done great... I don't have any more questions" Eve said.
"thank you for stopping..." I whispered when she came back to sit.
The judge called for a break and even though we all could've used a break after those moments there was no break for my restless mind, i still hadn't figured out how to tell anyone what was actually going on without him being able to see or hear.
Before Eve or B could start asking how we were holding up again I excused myself and left to go to the toilet.
What am I going to do... How do I fix this... There has to be a way.
"Hey... I'm sorry, it was clear you wanted to be alone but I just... I know when you're not alright.." B said from behind the door. I hadn't figured it out yet but that might be a chance so i unlocked the door and she entered.
"Hey..." i said.
"it's going better than you think Sylvia, Eve said that too, you might actually win contrarily to what you thought when this first started" she said and she was trying to comfort me but to me not even the option of winning was of any comfort at all.
I felt a lump in my throat and words wouldn't come out, instead of words sobs came out and I just let them since i didn't know what to say anyway.
"alright... hey... it's okay... it's going to be fine..." she said hugging me. I hugged her tightly hoping this would give me like a one minute span the microphone couldn't catch what i said while it was compressed between our chests and hopefully the rustle of our clothes would be enough to cover my voice.
"B, listen" I whispered in her ear as low as i could but high enough for her to understand, that was my only chance. "there's a man in my car in the parking lot, he's been threatening me and Sarah and he wants us to leave Vanessa with him if we win. You have to call the police and get them to come. He's been plotting with Michael from prison, i don't know much more" I said before releasing her from the hug and i signaled with my hand where the camera and microphone were so that she wouldn't say anything.
"Thank you B, I feel better, I guess i just a had a moment... you know i am not very emotionally stable lately" i joked.
"I know... now let's go back in..." she said taking my hand and guiding me out the toilet. She walked with me to the door but she didn't get in with me, she lightly squeezed my hand two times before letting go and i heard her footsteps receding. I had to fight the impulse to look at her because i didn't want him to know.
I took a deep breath and took my place next to Sarah.
The hearing hadn't started again yet and i really wanted to tell her i had managed to tell B and she was handling it but i didn't want to fuck things up even more and possibly endanger B so i just held her her hand and kissed it. She smiled softly "i'm so sorry... I tried.." she said and she meant she had probably tried to talk to Eve but I highly doubted she had even listened to her because she was so focused it was impossible to talk to her about anything else at the moment.
"i love you, so much, you could never know..."
"i know... because i love you the same"
"we're going to win and we're going to figure the rest out together" I said, the fact I was able to tell someone else what was happening to us was reinvigorating and it gave me a little more hope that we could actually get out of that madness.
The hearing started again and surprisingly enough Vanessa's mother's lawyer asked permission to ask me questions.
"why you...?" Sarah asked while Eve and the other lawyer went to confer with the judge.
"i don't know... this had never been mentioned before, Eve doesn't seem to know what is happening either... She doesn't have a good poker face" i said.
Permission was granted so i left Sarah's hand and my place to go sit where Vanessa had been before me.
Every eye in that room was on me and I as introvert was absolutely allergic to that kind of situation, nervousness threatened to get the best of me.
The only thought that was keeping me
grounded was that if Vanessa had done it I could do it too.
"So my first question, miss, is how do you contribute to the income of your so called family?"
I had a couple of replies in mind but all required sarcasm and I surely didn't want to experience Eve's reaction afterwards.
"I have a job. I'm a doctor as Vanessa already told you..."
"oh yes, sorry, it's just sometimes it's confusing since you're both moms to know which one she's talking about" he chuckled amused by the situation.
"yeah it must be very confusing..." i stopped there before i could add something that wouldn't have done any good to my purpose.
"anyway i thought you were still a student, has that changed while i wasn't looking?" he cackled again.
"i graduated, i'm an intern"
"so you're basically the last step on the hierarchical scale of doctors..."
"if you say so..."
"have you chosen a field in which you'd want to specialize yet?"
"it's complicated..."
"we're here for complicated, miss"
"my... hum, my mentor died recently, we were really close even though i was just one of her mentee and since she died i've been questioning wether I want to follow in her footsteps or have a fresh start" i said keeping my eyes on my hands.
"is this the reason why you're in therapy?" the second question followed shortly and caught me completely off guard. Him slapping in my
mental health before everyone's eyes made me even more uncomfortable.
"having to deal with that surely didn't help" I said trying to stay vague.
"so you're saying you go to therapy for other reasons on top of this one" he said clearly implying something, I wasn't sure what yet.
"i said grief is one of the things therapy is helping me to process" I said.
"so what are the other things..."
"The fact that i almost died... more than once... surely has a fairly important part... the fact that the reason why i was dying was one of my friends basically poisoning me, stalking my girlfriend and me to make sure we wouldn't contact each other again"
"seems like a lot for someone's who's just come out of their teen years..."
"i am not-"
"did she pay for all of it? like NYU and therapy?" he said referring to Sarah.
"I have never asked her anything..." I said and I felt
the control of the situation was starting to slip  away from me but I couldn't let it happen "my family paid for everything and the rest was the scholarship I worked really hard for" I said, I didn't want to snap at him but i felt like i wasn't going to be able to control it.
"So she doesn't pay for any of these things..."
"She... I always asked her to split anything between us two, especially Vanessa's therapy. I don't want to live off of her, as much as you'd like to think so for your purposes, I work hard and I always have so I will not let you make me look like a social climber"
"I do wanna believe in your good intentions but you see you could be Vanessa's sister not her mother... her mother's is sitting right there" he said "and you're a little doctor so you know genetics right?"
"I am not a "little doctor", I am a doctor, I've had to do things more than half of the people here wouldn't have been able to do. I've had to call countless families every day to tell them someone they loved had died, i have worked more than 70 hours a week during this whole pandemic situation and you dare say i am a little doctor? you want to be homophobic, be it, i can't tell you how to be a good person, but i will not let you belittle my work and everything i ever cared about and worked so hard for in front of these people but most of all in front of the woman i love and my daughter. As a mother i need to teach her that she has to defend herself from people like you because nobody else will do it for her and for her to learn that she needs someone who can actually be a good example."
"do you think you can take criticism, miss?" he asked without even flinching, of course he had a good poker face.
"when i think it can actually make me better, yes, or when i believe it comes from someone who is better than me" i said.
I had never yet looked at Eve or Sarah because i was scared of their expressions being too revealing of their feelings but when i finally did I saw that Eve was actually hiding a small smile probably amused by my answers, that meant i hadn't just put everything at stake and Sarah was looking at me with that adoring look I only rarely saw lately.
"I think we're heading into a dangerous direction miss... I am not here against you, i am here for Vanessa's wellbeing and that means she needs to be with her parents-"
"so every kid in the world needs to stay with their parents even if that means not being looked after, not feeling safe and not feeling loved? don't you often take kids away from their parents because of the said reasons?"
"i'm sorry, since when you're the one asking questions?"
"i'm a curious person, asking questions is my nature"
"do you always use sarcasm to deflect, miss?"
"yes" i said.
"well... kids need to be raised with a good role model, a woman in her late 40s and a young woman in her 20s who claim to be her parents... is this really the best for Vanessa?"
"so the problem is that we're two women and also the age gap... god couldn't you find any better? i mean even the fact i've almost died too many times to be considered a reliable and constant presence in her life could've served your purpose and at least it wouldn't have made you look like brainless homophobes"
"i see, this has just become a pointless discussion.." he said.
"right, so ask more meaningful questions"
"i have no more questions" he said and for a second i felt relieved but suddenly the doubt whether i had done the right thing or not took over my mind.
I sat back in my place next to Sarah and she intertwined her fingers with my mine "you did amazing." she whispered.
"did i?"
"Eve said it was going well"
"i went all sarcastic on him while i had been trying to hold back until... when he talked about therapy i lost it... what if i played his game and made a fool of myself"
"you did not... you used sarcasm but that's not a crime if that's the kind of questions you're being asked... you're an adult and he was treating you like a kid who doesn't know what she's doing, you proved you can think and you can look after yourself and your not with me because i bought you but because you actually want to..."
"i hope you're right but i don't really know how much it matters..." i said glancing briefly over my shoulder but B hadn't made it back yet "even if we win... we never actually win" i sighed.
"we'll figure this out..." Sarah said.
"how can you be so sure..."
"i am not.. but i love you and i will not let anyone take you from me" she said cupping my face with her hands and kissing my cheek.
"maybe it's best not to do this here..." i said.
"fuck them, i'll kiss you whenever i want to and they can be jealous all they want" she said resting her forehead against mine.
There was another small break but this time after that break we would've known the decision and my body started communicating me how nervous i really was, my thoughts seemed slower and my legs couldn't lift me up from the seat, probably my blood sugar was acting up.
"good lord..." i said as Sarah helped me sit back down.
"what can i do..." she said looking at me with her concerned look that made wrinkles appear on her forehead.
"nothing, i'll try to resist as much as i can but i really can't do anything unless you tell me you have some sugar with you"
"no..."
"exactly... oh this would be fucking hilarious if diabetes killed him before him... at least he wouldn't find it satisfying" i said.
"please don't say that..." she said.
"oh please at least let me have it how i want it, i've always imagined my last day a little bit different" i said.
"what is that supposed-" she got cut off by the judge clearing his voice calling for everyone's attention.
I decided i didn't have enough strength to continue that discussion and I didn't see the point anyway. It was just a matter of minutes and I was scared, scared that B wouldn't make it, she hadn't made it back yet and as much as i was scared for me i was starting to think that something might've happened to her as well. I heard them talking but i wasn't listening, it was all muffled and my ears were ringing so loud in my head i knew i wasn't going to see the end of it, I didn't even know how i was still standing on my feet.
At some point i felt someone pulling my arm calling for my attention. I turned around to see Eve she was telling me something but i couldn't hear it, reading her lips i thought she was telling me "we won" but i couldn't be completely sure. I felt like in the movies when the moments of highest tension are in slow motion, but the only problem was that i was the only one in slow motion.
I turned to Sarah and she was smiling, her eyes were red and full of tears, that one mix of emotions told me it was it, we had won, for what was worth it.
As i had already imagined my legs started to give up on me fortunately i could still fake sitting down instead of falling on the ground.
Sarah hadn't yet noticed, she was looking everywhere for Vanessa but i was of no use in the search because i could barely function.
"mommy" a small voice said and it would've made me jump if i had had the strength to do so.
"oh my god... come here" i said breathily holding my arms out. "god i'm so happy to see you... were you scared? did they treat you right? i was so scared" i said kissing her forehead and hugging as tight as i could.
"i wasn't scared mommy but i'm better now anyway"
"i promised you we would be together again right?"
"yes" she smiled because i had kept my promise but i just couldn't tell her it wasn't over yet.
"Eve... please go get Sarah, she's probably looking for Vanessa" i said and she went immediately.
"mommy are you okay?" she said analyzing my face carefully.
"yes, baby girl, i'm... i'm fine" i said with the truest smile I could master.
Once Sarah came back Vanessa jumped on her laps instead and i had to find a way to fix myself because i was completely useless like that.
I got up from my chair, almost none was still in the room so i had a chance to avoid all the ones i didn't even know that maybe wanted to stop me to congratulate me.
"where do you think you're going?" Sarah said waving a cup of coffee in one hand while Vanessa was still hugging her i didn't understand until i saw the portioned sugar bags on top of the cup.
"well... coffee is for me, sugar is for you... they wouldn't give me just the sugar" she smiled.
"i didn't lose any time and shoved them both down my throat, i hated raw sugar, i didn't even like it in coffee but that was the only quick way to get my blood sugar up again.
I sat down again and in a few minutes time i was feeling more like myself again. Sarah was keeping Vanessa busy because she was showing her every single drawing she had done while we weren't together so that was going to take a while.
"hey... how are you?" Eve asked, I had almost forgotten she was there.
"hey... i'm sorry, i'm okay... I'm sorry i almost forgot to thank you... you were incredibly good... you've done all of this for us not asking for anything in return... if you really don't want us to pay you at least tell me if i can do anything else for you." i said.
"I... You could actually... help me clean out my mother's house... i mean not everything, just the important stuff, you could see if there's anything you want to keep and i could really use a friend while doing that" she said and i so wanted to say yes but the truth was i didn't even know if i was going to make it out of there alive.
"yeah... of course, we'll... we'll do it together, don't worry" i lied.
"thank you..." she said holding my hand.
"no thank you... for giving me my family back" i said.
"it was my pleasure..." she said and leaned closer to me "HE is an ass" she whispered into my ear because they were still there.
"thanks colleague... i don't think highly of you either"
"as if i cared, colleague" she said.
"hey everyone wants to win and us lawyers, we'd do anything to get there"
"except only one wins in the end" Eve said putting a very bitter, for him, end to the conversation. He stepped away from the desk and walked in the direction of the door.
"wow... this man likes getting his mouth shut by women" i said making Eve crack a loud laugh.
"do you think it's over?" Vanessa's mother asked me stepping in front of us.
"it is, Chloe" i said, trying to act relaxed when i was freaking out inside wasn't exactly my cup of tea but i tried my best.
"i will not give up-"
"there is nothing more that you can do, it's over. Now you better leave before i decide to call security" i said.
"this is not the last time you see me"
"i hope it's not" i said, it made sense in my head but of course not to her and she left.
"we should go too.." Eve suggested.
I was terrified of stepping out of that room but i knew i couldn't fix things this time, I could only hope for a miracle.
"yes... we should..." i said getting up from my chair.
Sarah and I glanced at each other simultaneously, neither of us knowing how to get out of that situation.
"come on" she said taking Vanessa's and my hand. I took her hand and held it tightly and i placed a kiss on her cheek.
"hum... guys i'm not going to go down to the parking, someone's picking me up so..." she smiled and was clearly embarrassed so i connected the dots, her acting weird and the fact someone was picking her up when she didn't have any friends there led me to think it was actually a date.
"alright.. have fun" i said and smiled a little.
"i'll text you for that thing okay?"
"sure... yeah" i said.
I'm not going to be alive to read, but yeah i'd love if you texted me.
"baby girl are you okay?" i asked Vanessa because she seemed a little shaken up.
"yeah, i'm only tired and want to sleep in my bed again" she said.
"of course... let's see if we can make that happen" i said "just walk right behind me okay?" i asked before opening the door to the parking lot.
She nodded and i proceeded to open the door and get out, there was no sign of B or the police i had officially abandoned every hope. I walked to the car and saw that none was inside it so i was starting to worry. I held Vanessa's hand firmly until something hit me vigorously on my nape.
"oh for god's sake" i said falling on the floor "shit, why...?" i asked as the pain wore out.
"just for the thrill of it" he said "hi little monkey how are you doing?" he asked Vanessa who was holding sarah's hand and was halfway hiding behind her.
"you want to talk to her you're going to have to kill me here and now... after all by the law she is now my daughter" i said.
He pulled out his gun from his back pocket, loaded it and and pointed it exactly between my eyes.
"consider if you want to do this in front of a kid-"
"no!" sarah said pulling me back and stepping in front of me and he lowered the gun so quickly it was almost unbelievable, he must've been very scared of the consequences of killing her and she noticed "what? can't you kill me now? you said you would've killed both of us"
"sarah stop-"
"get into the car, all of you, NOW" he said, he looked nervous, more than i had seen him before.
"what if we don't?" sarah asked.
"i can't kill you but i can hurt you very badly and make sure you never work again and that would be even better than killing you"
"i can only hear you talking but i haven't seen a single fact yet"
"sarah stop!" i said pushed her aside as he was just about to pull the trigger. of course he couldn't stop and i couldn't possibly be fast enough to avoid it. As soon as i felt a sharp, burning, penetrating pain just inches above my knees i fell to the ground but all i was able to think about was that at least she didn't get it.
I fell back resting my back against another parked car, my eyes were looking for Vanessa and i found her helping Sarah get back up.
"what did you do..?" she whimpered like she could've started crying.
"it's fine..." i said barely able to breathe because of the pain.
"no it's not! and it's not going to be so stop lying to yourself and get into that fucking car so i won't have to lift your dead bodies" he said pointing the gun at me again. Sarah came to me to help me
stand on my only good leg, she encircled my waist and pulled me up with the little help Vanessa could offer her.
She lost her balance though and we both hit the car behind me and her knee casually hit mine making me scream in pain. Once i realized that someone could've heard that i screamed louder.
"get in..." he hissed tugging me from my sleeve.
Vanessa got in after me and she hugged my arm so tightly i could feel her shaking because of how scared she was.
Before he could get in the driver seat i reminded him that shooting the driver hadn't been the best idea but before he could say anything i heard some sirens in the distance. Of course he had heard them too even though he didn't seem to believe they were directed there until the first one barged in the parking lot and the first one to get out of the police car was B. I exhaled in relief for the fact that at least she was okay.
The following seconds were very chaotic because he pulled me out of the car like i weighed nothing for him he put his arm around my neck, tightened his grip and leaned the tip of his gun against my temple.
"Drop the gun and let her go, you're surrounded" an officer said and just the thought of it kind of made me laugh because if it could have been so easy i could've done it myself.
"let me go and i'll let you have the actress!" he said meaning he was still going to kill me and take Vanessa.
"you haven't hurt anyone yet, if you listen to us things could go better than you think" B said trying to convince him but instead she only convinced him to kick my leg making me scream in pain again.
"it's too late for that!" he yelled at her.
My head was spinning so much because of the pain i thought i was going to faint for a second.
I couldn't see or hear what Sarah and Vanessa were doing behind us but i hoped it was nothing stupid trying to save me somehow.
I was distracted by gun shots. I could not believe he was really shooting at the police in his position. okay he still had me, Sarah and Vanessa but he had no possibility to run away so it was just a matter of time before someone died, or he got arrested. or both.
The policemen could only hide behind their car doors and wait for him to stop. Nothing they could tell him seemed to be good enough for him, he only wanted it his way. He wanted to be free and he wanted Vanessa.
After a few seconds of silence he seemed to be pondering their last offer "i'll give you her first so you make all the others police's cars go away so i know i can trust you" he said.
The officer and B exchanged looks and she told him something that didn't look like she wanted to give up on me.
"deal" the officer said.
"you heard him, go" he said but i heard the gun rattling before he pushed me on the floor and i instantly knew something wasn't going as it should've. I got up my feet with great pain and effort and i started walking to B. The leg was hurting so much i figured that could only be if the bullet had left two holes, one of entrance and one of exit.
"No!" was the last thing i heard before being violently smashed on the floor. I hit my head but not hard enough to loose consciousness and not recognize a gun shot.
Someone had fallen on top of me on my back and once i managed to turn us both around i saw that was Sarah.
She had shielded me with her body just like i had done for her.
"No... no no no, Sarah..." i said trying to prop her head up on my one good leg "what did you do... why... oh my god" i said pressing my hand on her wound to stop the bleeding.
"I couldn't let you take it... he was shooting you from the back..." she already struggled to talk and stay present.
"i don't care about me... i only care about you..." i cried "please try to stay awake okay? do this one last thing for me"
"i... i do everything for you..." she whispered.
"okay then stay... stay" i said and lowered to kiss her forehead when i felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. my free hand reached the region in pain and when i retracted it my hand was covered in blood. I immediately realized what that meant.
"Sylvia... the ambulance is on its way here" B said falling on her knees beside me "shit" she said as she noticed my hand covered in blood.
Sarah had her eyes still open even though she had to resist to stay awake and i doubted she could understand what was going on.
After the realization that sarah's sacrifice hadn't been enough to spare me i started feeling the pain from the gunshot and breathing was becoming the hardest task in the world.
"hey, no, Sylvia come on..." B said trying to call for my attention but i couldn't even figure out where her voice came from. I tasted iron and a warm liquid in my mouth which i realized was blood as i was coughing it out.
I fell on the ground beside Sarah, i had no strength left, two gunshots were apparently more than i could take.
"I'm sorry" I whispered before everything turned black.

A/N did i really leave you with that cliffhanger for more than a month? omg no wonder why you guys hate me. anyway i hope this was worth the wait and i'll try to not make you wait so long next time. Thank you for 30K reads and 1K+ votes i love you all so much ✨❤️ see you on the next chapter