Painting this canvas with the colors of our love

I've missed you more

Right after New Year's holidays things had gone back to normal, Sarah got incredibly busy with filming, promoting, doing interviews, jumping from one show to another, taking up other work for both theater and tv.
We didn't really get to see each other often or at least she didn't get to see me because I always watched everything she was in and sometimes I also let her know sending her screenshots or pictures of the weird expressions and things she did. I also went with her a couple of times, when the thing she had to do was in New York, because I couldn't leave for too much due to the fact I had almost made up for the time I had lost in my studies but I have to admit that seeing her there sitting in front of an audience and cameras and still acting so real and natural was beautiful, more than I could have ever imagined seeing her from the other side of the screen. She had asked me if I wanted to come to some interviews with her, like really with her, sitting next to her talking and joking but I always politely declined the offer and she seemed to have understood this wasn't my thing, I was too shy and I surely preferred to watch her from behind the stage or even better cuddled on the sofa whenever I could. It just wasn't my world, my world was studying, working and be with her whenever we both could, so in the end she stopped asking even though "Jimmy would kill to have her shadow girlfriend on his show", sorry Jimmy. I felt like she thought it was a good thing too, to keep work and personal life separated, like she was trying to figure out if her previous relationships had failed due to the fact that her partners were also working in the same field. I was pretty much fine with this actually, we kept our intimacy and small moments we shared just for ourselves and there wasn't anything I could appreciate more, it felt so good to be just the two of us even though a few times we got caught out on dates by paparazzi but that's just what her life involved and I had learned to simply ignore them sometimes and enjoy the little time I was given to spend with her.
"Did you tell her?" Blythe asked before even taking a step through the door.
"Well... it's good to see you and I've missed you too, B" I said faking a pissed face.
"Don't mind her, she's rude" Peter said coming in and hugging me.
"God bless you Peter, I think I chose my best friend wrong. Is it too late to change my mind?" I told him making sure Blythe was listening.
"Oh yeah, that was hilarious... you two assholes" she said.
"Oh come on B just cut Sylvia some slack" Peter said "She will do everything right when she's ready."
"You're Truth Teller! Thank you" I said and Peter winked at me.
"Oh I hate it when you do this... thing!" She said really pissed "We brought Pizza anyway because you didn't eat a damn thing all day, did you?"
"Uhmmm I-" I got interrupted before I could finish.
"Yeah yeah... I know, because I am you BEST FRIEND" she said really stressing the words 'I' and 'best friend'.
"Oh you took this seriously!" I laughed "Thank you B, I love you" I said placing a kiss on her cheek.
"You know Sylvia I didn't think she was this kind of competitive person" Peter laughed from the kitchen getting three glasses and something to eat pizza with.
"You have so much to learn little boy" I said and winked at Blythe that laughed.
"I see" he said sitting next to her on the other side of the table.
"So what did you guys do all this time we haven't seen each other?" I asked to keep the conversation going.
"Nothing special actually just studying and studying since you made us bite the dust with all those exams you brilliantly passed" Peter said.
"Reach me if you can" I challenged him.
"There's no way I could possibly do that, you're like six months of studying ahead of us. You're just like... not human" Peter laughed sipping his beer.
"Oh trust me I am more human than you think" I said and regretted it but fortunately he didn't say a thing about it.
"Hey you, there's your girlfriend on tv!" Blythe enthusiastically said turning up the volume on the tv.
"I know, she's always there, sometimes you just need to change channels a couple of times to find her" I joked but when Sarah's voice hit my ears the noises all around went immediately silent. She gave the interviewer a couple of those goddamn cute little laughs and responded to the questions never abandoning her witty irony that made talking to her so easy and fun.
"She's gone, we lost her, daydreaming about her love already..." B joked and in another moment I would've taken it but in that moment I just shushed her because the interviewer was asking Sarah about ME. Well, actually she asked Sarah about "her girlfriend" but hey, fortunately it was the same thing.
Yet it was always the same bullshit, who is she, how old is she, what does she do, she's much younger than you, how comes you did this choice as we've always seen you with older ladies... I was so fed up...
"Did you see what I just saw or..." I said but I was really angry "I mean why they keep doing this, she was supposed to be there to talk about her work, not about me, dammit..." 
"Sylvia why are you so angry? You know that's what they always do... gossiping is a part of it but Sarah surely knows how to handle it, she won't answer questions she doesn't want to answer." Blythe reassured me.
"I know but I mean she works so hard, she has done beautiful things this year and she will do just as many in the future... I wanted them to talk about this because she really deserves it as she is one of the best actresses in the world and her work deserves to be mentioned more than I deserve" I sniffled.
"Look it's not your fault anyway, you don't want to become a public figure just to make them stop asking Sarah about you, she won't blame you for this, none would. And I don't think they would stop asking anyway" Peter said trying to comfort me.
"Yeah I know but it sucks, she does so good and never gets recognized for it" I said.
"Hey hey, don't make it so dramatic, maybe it's just this one a little too much into the private life of famous people I mean look at her" B said kneeling in front of me.
"I know, I'm sorry" I said and hugged her back as she hugged me.
"Have you planned on getting this stress level every time Sarah's on interviews? Because you may need us and pizza a little more often." Peter joked.
"No it's just that I miss her and I can't stand people ignoring her work just to ask her about rumors and other meaningless stuff. She puts all her energy in what she does and she deserves to be respected..." but I was shushed by Blythe "Just listen" she ordered.
"...Yes I know she's young and that's why I respect her will not to show up on tv, she has other things to think about, her life and career in a completely different world that really doesn't care about rumors and all the other stuff we've been talking about until this moment..." I heard Sarah saying from the tv and, as if it wasn't already unbelievable, she went on "So you know... don't get me wrong, I don't mean to be rude but I think it's a waste of time going on talking about her as long as you're only asking me about private things, if you had asked me if I love her and if she makes me happy I could've honestly said yes, because I really do love her and when she's around I feel the luckiest woman in the world and for I don't want to lose her I'm afraid I have to say I really cannot answer any personal question about her" she affirmed.
"I think that's the cutest moment I've ever witnessed" B said but I could hardly hear her because I was like star struck by what I had just heard.
A moment of silence took the three of us while the woman apologized for her questions and went on asking about Sarah's work but I wasn't really following anymore.
"Sooo..." Peter broke that heavy silence pulling me back into reality "Did she just say she loves you and stood out for you on tv?" He asked.
"Looks like she just did huh?" I asked without removing my eyes from that gorgeous face on tv.
"Yep... oh my God Sarah you're setting the bar so high for this little nerd boy here" he sighed deeply making me and Blythe burst out laughing.
"But I love this little nerd boy here that never fails to amaze me and makes me feel the only one in the world" Blythe said approaching to kiss him.
"Hey hey i thought we had reached an agreement about that" I said throwing a pillow between them.
"Oh shut up you had your little romantic moment" Peter said throwing the pillow back at me.
"Fine, I'm gonna be out for a cigarette or I would probably need another dose of insulin with all this romance, just tell me when you're done and please don't take it too far on my sofa" I said and closed the door behind me.
I was out in the cold air of the night now, it helped me to think clearly because I hadn't fully understand what had happened, it was like she had heard me when she said those things, of course I was 100% sure this couldn't have happened but still I didn't know what to think. I was about to light my cigarette but I couldn't find my lighter and had to fight really hard not to swear when I pictured it in my mind right where I had left it.
Well you won Sar, as always, I can't smoke, see?
I put the cigarettes back in my pocket and sat on the steps, rested my back on the wall and just looked up at the sky. In another situation I would've thought this never happened, that she hadn't really said those things on tv and that maybe I had imagined it because I was a little high, but I had never been so sober in my life. I couldn't help but smile, the kind of smile that just burst out on your face for no reason in particular but just because you're crazily happy at that very moment. She really did this for you stupid, she respects and love you, she shut that little gossip journalist mouth with so much grace you can be convinced she was actually apologizing for not responding to the questions.
She did all this, she was the best thing that happened to me in my whole life probably and knowing that she loved me so much to say the things she had just said made me even more nervous and scared of losing her one day.
I was interrupted by the noise of a car racing in front of the gate of my apartment building, it was pretty late and there was none around so I was about to stand up to go back in, though I would've interrupted B, when a voice said "I didn't think you were waiting for me outside, it was meant to be a surprise." Sarah... it was Sarah's voice.
I whirled around "how... why... oh my God" i stumbled on my words and ran down the steps that separated us and hugged her tightly.
Sarah giggled and relaxed in my hug exhaling in relief. "Hey babe, I've missed you too" she said and tightened her arms around my waist.
"Thank you Sarah, I know what you did was hard... I didn't mean to ask you so much but thank you" i said stroking her hair.
"Hey, she was acting as a bitch, the Supreme just put her back at her place" she giggled pulling back from our hug to look at me "you don't know how much I've missed you" she sighed and her hands were compulsively trying to arrange a few strands of rebel curls behind my ears which she only did when she was nervous.
"No no, no way, I've missed you more for sure" I said giggling.
"Oh shut up" she said and kissed me hardly, finally our tongues savored each other again, our lips touched again and I felt every inch of skin burning with passion.
"Mmh what were you doing out here anyway?" She asked not letting go of me.
"Well... I was about to lighten my cigarette but then I couldn't find my lighter anywhere and realized I had forgotten it inside but there were Peter and Blythe alone and I didn't want to have an embarrassing moment walking back in unannounced" I explained and she laughed while I just stared smiling.
"What, creep?" She waved her hand in front of my eyes "Hey, Earth calls Sylvia, yuhu"
"Yeah stop it, I'm here" I said grabbing her hand and sighed "it's just I needed you back, I needed your voice, your laugh, your eyes and how you look at me and make me shiver, I needed you back" I let it out.
"And I'm here now babe, but have you planned on sleeping out under the stars or you think it's not too late to get in?" She asked referring to the two lovebirds I had left alone.
"Wait where the fuck is my phone?" I said searching for it with my hands in every pocket "Inside..." i sighed "well, let's do it another way" I kneeled and took a few pebbles and threw it at the window of my apartment, fortunately at the second attempt Blythe appeared and opened the window "I want an explanation for this, weirdo" she said at me "Oh hi Sarah! Good to see you girl!" And Sarah waved at her smiling.
"I left my phone inside... just open the door and take your make out session somewhere else" I ordered.
"Got it! Peter, love, get off of Sylvia's bed and dress up we've been interrupted" she said making sure I was listening.
"Oh fuck off B" I said and looked back at Sarah, she was suffocating laughs in her hands and I shook my head "She's kidding, i hope"
"She better be kidding" Sarah said in between laughs.
When we got back inside of course they were doing nothing but Blythe was a champion of pissing me and she liked it so she did every time, they greeted Sarah and told her what she had done for me that night was beautiful, then left after a while.
"It seems I didn't see you in a year... I'm so happy we're finally together" she said cupping my face.
"I'm happy too but don't you wanna change into something more comfortable than this dress?" I offered "I mean you look beautiful but you must be exhausted too"
"Yeah actually that's a great idea, I'm tired and I'm freezing" she chuckled.
"Make yourself at home" I told her "and maybe a hot tea would make you warmer?" I asked but she looked at me and rolled her eyes.
"Ok, no tea allowed here, hot chocolate?" I tried once more and this time she turned around and smiled before closing the bathroom door. "Oh you're welcome Sar!"
"Thank you my big love!" She yelled from the bathroom and I chuckled to myself.
Once she had changed into a pajama she kept at my place just in case she needed it and the tons of make up on her face had been removed I could say I liked that view even more, so effortlessly beautiful in her pajama.
"Your chocolate is ready princess Sarah" I joked.
"Oh thank you, and don't call me that" she giggled sitting on the sofa next to me.
"So tell me, how has everything been, since we haven't talked much in this last one and a half month." I was genuinely interested in knowing that because I'd rather hear that than tell her about me.
"Well it was ok, apart from tonight, but I mean I handled it I think" she chuckled and sipped her chocolate which I thought was still pretty hot "it's not the part I like the most, you know, all that advertising and public relations even though I had fun a couple of times, because I like more to be into action and filming rather than talking and being asked all sorts of questions about me more than my work" she said.
"I'm sorry I know I didn't make it easier for you, I really really mean it I'm sorry" I told her taking her free hand into mine.
"Well don't be because you have nothing to be sorry for. So far you should know I wouldn't let anyone disrespect you without getting a kick in their ass" she said rubbing my hand with her thumb and I lightly smiled thinking of the actual scene of her kicking someone's ass "but I wanna know about you too" she brought me back again.
"Uhm I don't know what to say, my life has been more than boring without you" I vaguely said.
"Sylvia, you never stop, it's like you're always spinning between a million things to do and you tell me your life is boring" she chuckled.
"Well I guess I stopped spinning" I half smiled and realized I had probably said the wrong thing because that statement just made her suspicious I could read that in her eyes so I tried escaping her inquiring look. I took her cup as she had left it there on the side of the sofa and took it back to the kitchen. But she followed me.
"You can't leave it like that" she said leaning at the door looking at me with her arms crossed against her chest.
"It's that there's not so much to say..." I said continuing to just wash that two cups.
"Well I'm not expecting you to write a novel just tell me what the fuck has happened" she said in an ironic manner.
"Nothing in particular happened, I'm just not working for professor Lowen anymore" I said in a unusual highly controlled tone.
"Did you give it up yourself? Because I thought you loved that job so that must be something else" she was not intentioned to let the discussion drop.
"Apparently I didn't suit her need anymore because she 'fired' me, not that she had ever paid me anyway, I did that because I wanted to do it" I said and scrolled my shoulders while she was just looking at me. "That's what you wanted to know? Are you fine now you know?" I asked but sounded a little too harsh and regretted it right after the words slipped out of my mouth.
She lowered her eyes "And you basically don't know why then?" she asked and I was glad she chose to ignore my tone.
"Yeah... no explanation" I lied, I knew the reason but I couldn't tell her yet, I wasn't ready and I didn't know how to do it. I hoped so hard that she would be convinced because I hated hiding the truth from her but I wasn't ready to talk about it. She came near me, sat down on the bed next to me and didn't say anything, she just laid her back down and rested her head on my shoulder. I couldn't fight the impulse of hugging her, I flipped my harm over her shoulder and she got closer adjusting her head on my chest while I tangled my legs with hers.
"I'm sorry Sarah, I didn't want to start a fight I-" she cut me off with a quick kiss.
"I know, you're hurt, you hadn't seen it coming before it hit you so you're just hurt because you cared so much for that job" she said "meaning that reaction was more than normal and I'm sorry if I forced you to tell me" in a way she had understood me without my explanation of my feelings.
"Yeah" I sighed "I guess you're right" I said but my voice betrayed me with a light trembling at the end which didn't escape Sarah's ears anyway. In fact she raised her head from my chest and hugged me tighter "it's okay baby, you're good anyway, you're my little genius and everything will work out" she said kissing my forehead and my cheeks and every tiny spot on my face she could reach.
"I didn't want to upset you by telling you this because you had done so well and you were so happy" I said.
"I know, it's okay baby, let's not think about it right?" She lifted my chin up with her hand and I nodded. She kissed me and it felt right, like she could fix it, fix me...

Hey hey, I don't know what to say about this one, it's like the one I was less convinced about but in the end I thought it was a cute moment between them so I just posted it. I'm really busy at the moment, the only time I have to write the chapters is at night and since I don't want to leave this story unfinished that's exactly what I'm doing, writing at night sleeping at class... 😂  Anyway my reward is seeing you like this story and go on following it. If you have any suggestion about what you would like to read next I'm always opened for new ideas!