I accepted it

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When I wake up it is 12 o'clock and I would still be asleep if my phone hadn't rang, just one single ring and yet my dream is interrupted and is already fading from my mind. I look for my phone in that messy king size bed.
A number that apparently I didn't have in my contacts. Sarah!
"Wanna meet for lunch? Can't wait til dinner ;)"
She couldn't wait to meet me? Was this really happening to me? I was brought back to reality from my daydreaming by my phone ringing again "I saw you saw the message :) :) :)"
Okay Sylvia just think quickly. Reply, reply, reply...
"Uhm... Are you stalking me? :') it's okay for lunch, just tell me when and where :)"
"It's already getting late so just say I'll join you at the hotel restaurant...?"
"Sounds great"
"Be there in 30 mins"
What?!
And I was still a mess. I threw all the sheets away and ran into the shower.
20 minutes later I was all ready, grabbed a little bag for that damned insulin and just went down to take a table at the restaurant for the two of us.
I sat down trying to figure out what to say, after the accident of our very first meeting because she was obviously doing this because she was worried about my poor unstable organism and she obviously didn't want me to die in a hotel room booked in her name... I turned back to look at the entrance and saw her walking towards me.
"I'm late, I know, have you been waiting for too long?" She asked while sitting down in front of me
"Not at all, actually I was late too" I answered.
"Great choice, we have the table with the best view"
"You know I thought it was a little too dark in here so this was the only one receiving natural light and I love the view and the sunlight"
"I love this sunlight too, and also it is hard to have a sunny day in New York so when it happens I always try to enjoy it as long as I can" She said
"I feel bad for you!" I rib her and she laughs "Hahah why?"
"Where I live it's sunny almost everyday, even in winter, even when it's cold outside you can still see the sun and this means we get beautiful sunrises and sunsets everyday and I think this is priceless."
"It must be a woderful place then... I'm jealous" she chuckles
"No, it's just a boring small town in the south of Italy... I mean it could be... but many things don't work as they should in my country and the worst thing is nobody cares. But yes we have the sun, the sea, in summer we just spend all day at the beach for like three months, we make trips to the islands and it's beautiful, you should see it" i said and at the same moment I realize how stupid it seems "I mean, you can do whatever you want and you can go wherever but I'm just trying to say it's not like Hawaii, I can't explain but it's different" i tried to explain
"Wow, you're really in love with your hometown" she says and she smiles.
How beautiful was she? Can a human being be so perfect?
While I look at her I notice she has a little bit of chocolate on her chin and I think I should tell her
"I wouldn't say I love it but it is objectively beautiful" I said letting the conversation drop "Hmm Sarah I understand you liked that ice cream very much but maybe you want to know you have a little spot of chocolate on your face" I said laughing softly.
She blushes "Where?? Please Sylvia would you help me instead of just laughing at me? I would really appreciate that" she said hiding her face away from the other ones in the restaurant.
"Okay okay here comes your savior!" I said approaching at her with a napkin to clean her chin, we were really near to each other, eye to eye that I felt embarrassed and I looked away. "Okay you're as beautiful as ever now even, a little less funny though" I say as I sit again.
Oh shit. My insulin, before she thinks I am an idiot...
"I helped you yesterday, you helped me now so we're even now" she chuckled
"Yes, by the way... Can I leave you just a moment? Do you mind?" I ask her
"I'll miss you but I'll be fine for a few minutes" she mocks
I ask a waiter for the toilet and find out there's not a toilet in that restaurant but only on the one at ground floor so I go back to my room, lock the door and sit on the bed as I prepare what I need I can't help thinking about her, she is so soft, so beautiful, genuine, it hurts to know this is going to end in two days and I will never see her again.
Ouch!
I was distracted and when i looked down on me I was bleeding, shit she was probably thinking I had left her there...
Someone knocks. "Just a moment" i say as i run into the bathroom looking for a plaster. "Is everything okay in there?"
I open the door from the bathroom to let her in then adjust my clothes again and get out of the bathroom. "I'm okay, I'm sorry I left you there alone"
"But what are you sorry for? I just came in here because I was beginning to worry it seemed like to much time thinking that yesterday you just spent 5 seconds to do it"
"Yes sometimes I get distracted and I bleed... I am not very good at doing injections yet but I'm working on it" I explain
"Wait... how long have you been suffering from diabetes?" She asks with an interrogative look like she was missing some information
"Less than year..." I answer lowering my eyes because I don't want to see that compassionate look she gave me
"I am so sorry... I didn't mean to upset you... we were having fun..." she says and I feel she really feels sorry as she holds my hands intertwining her fingers with mine...
"You don't have to feel sorry, I won't heal just because someone feels sorry for me.. There's no way out of this so I accepted it and I don't need compassion" I say trying not to sound rude.
"You're right I... I'm sorry for how stupid and unkind I can be... It was just... I don't know why but I really care about you" She finally gets to say.
Care about me? C'mon you've been knowing me since yesterday literally how can you say you care about me?
But our hands... Still holding and it doesn't seem like you want to leave them and clearly I don't want you to.
It was maybe a couple of minutes we've been staring at each other, so close I can feel her breath on my skin, all of my senses told me one damn thing but I was too afraid to ruin everything. "Thank you. But you know I'm okay you don't need to worry about me" I said stepping away from her.
My heart was aching all I wanted in that moment was to be close to her again but I couldn't... We had completely different lives there was no way for us to be together not to mention the fact she already belonged to someone.
"Do you think it wouldn't be too annoying for you if I asked you to come have a drink with me like in a few hours? Just the time to go home and get dressed and I'll come and get you?"
"Why are you doing all this for me Sarah?" I asked her baldly because I didn't want her to feel in duty.
"I don't want you to be all alone, I want to know you, I want to talk to you as long as you're here in New York" she said with cracked voice.
Oh Sarah... you are my kryptonite... I love you but this is all wrong...
"Just tell me when and where" I said sighing.
"I'm happy you decided to come" she said biting her lip "you won't be disappointed I'll show you a wonderful place" she said smiling.
You could never disappoint me...
"Go get ready then" I smiled ad her as she was already running out of my room with a big toothy smile lighting up her face.
"Do you have anything a little more formal? It may be appropriate for the place" she said louder as she walked
"You won't be disappointed madame" I mocked her.

It's kind of an introductory chapter to what will follow so I'm sorry if it seemed boring but more interesting things are about to come, I promise!
🥰😍❤️

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