They All Love You

part forty-two

Hermione's palms were now gripping her calves as she tried to keep warmer, listening with every ounce of her body as Draco talked. She rarely ever heard him talk about his concerns or fears, so she pushed through her urges to interrupt or correct a minor grammar mistake (Draco only made a few.) 

He let out a tired breath, and Hermione took this as a sign he was mostly done talking.

"Do you think...maybe...the actual reason you got mad and defensive was because you might actually believe somewhat-"

"Hermione, there's nothing going on. Not with Lucius, or anyone."

Admittedly, she was a bit shocked at his quick and stubborn tone, but 'surprised' wouldn't be the word to describe how she reacted. His lips pursed as he watched faded people pass through the dusty window pane- all shivering and rushing to get inside from the cold.

Hearing about his experience, a handful of questions buzzed in Hermione's head as she wanted to know more about what Narcissa had told him. She wanted to know how her posture was, what facial expressions she made- Hermione wanted to assess for herself. But she painfully watched as Draco sat slouched over, his hear greasy and a muck, his eyes drained of all color from what must've been a very anxious past couple hours.

So for the time being, perhaps asking any more questions wasn't the right way to go. She too watched as people walked by; giggling with their friends and mesmerizing over the patterns the bottom of their boots made in the sheet of white snow. She longed for a less complicated lifestyle, perhaps the ones those people had who were passing by.

"Let's just leave it," a voice inturrupted her thoughts, as she turned to give Draco a very concerned and confused look.

"What?" the floorboard creaked as she applied more pressure to her palms in order to face him in a more proper conversational way.

Draco's eyes didn't meet hers, as if they were lifeless, "I'm serious- let's just go somewhere else. Anywhere else." 

His voice caught speed, "Australia even! Possibly America, I've heard great things about the wizards there- we could just-"

"Run away?" Hermione breathed as their eyes finally met. "Together? Are- are you mad?"

"What else are we even here for, Hermione? If staying here means more risk, then-"

Hermione couldn't culminate thoughts, "So you agree there's a risk staying here?"

Draco faltered slightly, but shook his head shortly after.

"I mean there's a higher risk, sure."

The silence that followed allowed Hermione to fully understand what was being told to her, and she came to the conclusion he was asking her to run away with him somewhere. Anywhere, really. A smile creeped onto her face, but withered away as she further analyzed his words. If he was ready to run- that meant he really was afraid.

"Draco," Hermione said softly, "Any other time in the world I would accept, but- I won't let you run away from your fear again. I can't- it would be wrong of me. I want to stay here and...I dunno, help out, or-or be here when something does go wrong. I couldn't live with myself if I just left all of my friends...my family here."

He looked away when she said she wouldn't be able to live with herself, and he began tugging on a thread from his jeans as she continued.

"So I'm not your friend then? You'd be fine not leaving me, is it?" Draco began in a judgmental tone, and she could've well done lost her mind at that point. 

Every time I try to open up to him Hermione's thoughts went on, pounding at her like a headache.

She ran both her hands through her frizzy curls, "Draco we can't just leave in the midst of-"