⚠️Blood waring ⚠️
million thought rushing in my head rn
i couldnt control my tears...
i broke down in the middle of the dirty bathroom in the same house at 2 am.
I ran here after the conversation with billie..
yesterday i would have gave my life just to have a little talk with her....but now....i just wish it would never happen.
it all make sence now..why she ignored me, why she looked soo hurt when she saw me...She thinks i just played with her..she thinks everything was a joke for me..she thinks nothing was real that happened between us..
I hurt her..I really did...but i didnt mean to..the last thing i wanted to do was hurt her...i-..i dont know how can i fix this..
i slowly stood up and leaned against the sink..I lifted up my head and looked myself in the mirror.My eyes were red and puffy, my whole face was covered with my ruined makeup.
i hate seeing this everyday..This look, these eyes, this fucking face.
i was doing so fine and now...everythings fucked up...again....
i hate this.i hate what i did.I HATE EVERYTHING
I HATE MYSELF.
"FUCK"i sreamed and punced the mirror in front of me as hard as i could. It broke into a million pieces and fell to the ground loudly.i didnt care about the mess that i did. All i wanted to do is let my anger out.
i was about to break something else when the door flew open. Of course i forgot to lock it.
A blue haired girl ran inside with no hesitation.
She kneeled down in front of the toilet and started throwing up.
I quickly ran next to her and held her hair while she did her thing..
once she finshed i stood up and gave her toilet paper to clean herself a little.
"Thanks dude i-"she started but stopped once she saw me.
"om yeah no problem,..... you okay?"i asked. She gave me a cold stare and quickly stood up
"...im fine..."she mumbled and turned around to walk out but i was fast enough and grabbed her arm.
"billie-"she turned back and looked in my eyes for a sec then down to my hand around her arm, but as soon as she saw my hand her eyes widened..
I looked down too and saw blood all over my hand and a little on her arm.
"shit"i muttered under my teeth and jerked my hand away.
"What happened?!"she asked worriedly.
Her gaze wandered over the little batroom until she found the broken mirror.Her eyes widened even more and i saw the pain in her eyes like she just knows everything.
She slowly looked back at me and then back at the mirrors pieces.
My eyes watered up and a tear slipped down my face.
I quickly looked away and wipped my eyes.
The next minute i felt a soft hand grabbed mine. I looked up at billie who was now holding a wet towel.
"sit"she nodded toward the bathtub.
I did as she told and sat on the edge of it. She came and sat next to me. She took my hand and started cleaning the bruises on my hand. I didnt feel any pain, i just enjoyed the moment, being close to her, her soft skin against mine, her smell....everything...
When she were done, i was about to say something but she jumped up and threw up again. I held her hair untill she were done.
"come i'll take you home"i said as she wipped her mouth. Surprisingly she didnt complained, just nodded and started walking out of the bathroom.
Well that went easy.
We walked out of the loud house and went straight to her car.
We got inside and i started driving.
....I sould say something....but what if she gets mad again....
and then the next minute billie brust out laughing next to me.
I looked over to see why she was laughing so hard but she was just staring the street.
"whats so funny?"i asked
"i dunno"she said....drunkely?But she seemed sober in the bathroom.
"did you drink after we left the bathroom?"i looked over at her.
"maybe"she said and started laughing again.
we sat in silence for another 5 minutes when i pulled up to her driveway.
.....should i ask her?....no.....
you know what?..fuck it.. she already hates me so why not?!.
i stopped the car and looked at her.
"who was that girl in the kitchen?"i asked and didnt take my eyes off of the steering wheel.
"what?"she played dumb
i rolled my eyes at her "the blond bitch who couldnt take her hand off of you"i said annoyedly finally looking at her.
"ooo"she smirked and looked in my eyes "is somebody jealous?"
"omm....no i was jus-"i quickly looked away but she grabbed my face and made me look at her.
my chest started racing as i felt her skin against me.We were so close. I looked in her now dark eyes but all i saw was sadness.
"you know what i liked about her?"she asked and kept her hand on my cheek. I looked down and shook my head. "she didnt think my hair is gross and she didnt try to act like she liked me when she clearly just played with my feelings. "she almost whispered the end.
i quickly looked up to see her eyes were full of tears now..
"billi-"i tried but she quickly got out of the car and left me there with my thoughts.
She couldnt even take two steps when she fell to the ground. I immadiately jumped out of the car and ran to her.
She was now laying on her back and laughed so hard.
"damn are you okay?"i asked now half laughing because it was just so funny how this night turned out. This whole situation fucked up.
"no fuck you"she laughed even harder.
"okay but now lets go inside you really need some sleep."I held my hand out to her.
She grabbed it and stood up. She tried to walk away but she couldnt.
I quickly put one of her arm around my neck so i can help her walk.
We slowly reached to the front door.
"can you go insi-"she shook her head so i opened the door and helped her inside.
We slowly reached to her room and she immadiately knocked out when she layed down on her bed.
I carefuly took off her shoes, chains and rings.
When i was done i leaned down to her and moved a piece of her hair behind her ear.
"im so sorry, i didnt mean to hurt you"i whispered even if i knew she couldnt hear me. "goodnight baby"i kissed her forehead and quietly walked out of her room.
I made my way to the front door but then my soul left my body for a moment...
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Im sorry i didnt post for long time but i have so much going on rn lol.
anyways i hope you like it so far
theres gonna be some crazy shit in the next couple of parts so get ready for it ;)
