Fighting a New World

27

Trigger warning for Abuse and Mentions of suicide

Carter's POV

My heart hammered in my chest as I stared up at Jax's dad. My back throbbed against the hard floor from his well-placed kick as I fought Jax to keep him from fronting.

His jaw clenched as he reached for his belt.

"Take off your shirt," he seethed out as he glared down at me.

My hands shook as they blindly followed his orders.

I pause only for a second to fight Jax harder for front but in that one second of hesitation, pain exploded in my cheek. My eyes begin to water as blood slowly began to seep through the inside of my cheek. I can't help but gag as the coppery flavor filled my mouth; I've always hated the way blood tasted.

"Take your shirt off," he seethed again, his anger only growing by the second.

Even though Jax was still fighting, I didn't hesitate this time.

My hands removed my shirt and let it fall to the floor.

I don't wait for his next order as I lifted myself off the floor and onto my knees. I turned so my back faced him as let my hands clenched on my thighs as I wait for his next move.

I force myself to blink back tears; the sound of his belt being removed filled the room. My head bent down as I allowed my eyes to fall shut.

His insults echo throughout the room but I don't pay attention to them as his belt buckle slapped against my back. I bite my lip to keep from making a sound while my hands tightened on my legs.

Jax finally stops fighting, leaving me to deal with the pain by myself.

Somewhere around the 20th lash, blood began pouring down my back. Normally he would stop now that I was bleeding but now he only hit harder, causing new scratches making even more blood seep out before falling to the ground.

Now he was 50 lashes in. Blood tickled my back as more and more began to pile up into a puddle that grew with every new lash.

I force my eyes open when I begin to sway. My head began to feel light as the pain began to increase.

It was times like this when I wondered if he would kill me one day and if this would be that day or if he would stop last minute.

If it weren't for Jax, I would have wished for death.

I hated this life.

I hated fighting. I hated Jax's dad. I hated being shoved into the back of Jax's mind every time he didn't need me. I hated dealing with all the bad parts Jax couldn't handle.

I hated this life but I knew I could never leave it.

Wherever I went, he would find me. I could move to a different state or even a different country but he would still be there waiting for me by the time I got there.

If it was just me, I would have already offed myself, just to end all of this. I had thought about it a few times already. How I would do it, when I would do it, if I would leave a note or not; but it wasn't just me.

Jax didn't deserve to die so I forced myself to take everything like it was nothing.

Somewhere around the 70th lash, my knees no longer supported me and I fell forward onto my chest. My world began to go black but his dad never stopped. Even my last few conscious seconds were filled with pain.